Replace
"Kuya pasok na ko." paalam sakin ni Hale. Hinalikan ko ang noo niya at lumabas na sila nina mama ng bahay. While lola will assess her papers para sa pag-alis niya next month.
Sinundan ako ni Brian sa kwarto ko pagkatapos naming kumain.
"Sorry kagabi. Nalasing lang ako tapos yung hayop na yun sumakto pa talaga."
"It's okay Osh. Ako na kumausap kaya hindi na ako nakasama sa paghatid sa'yo sa ospital. You want to talk to him?"
"No need. Tapos na naman 'to eh. Hayaan na natin siya kung kakausapin niya pa ba si Juliet o hindi. I don't care."
"Sigurado ka ba dyan?"
"Fucking yes Bri. Madami pa kong plano. Nakasagabal lang yang larong yan sa mga plano ko."
"If you say so."
"Gusto ko lang malaman kung bakit sa lahat lahat ng lalaking ipe-frame up niya eh ako pa? Gago ba talaga siya?" inis kong tanong kay Brian.
"Ewan ko din Osh eh. Parang siraulo nga. I don't know his motives pero isa lang ang alam ko, plinano niya 'to lahat. He said na ayaw niya kay Juliet but he didn't want to hurt her that's why he looked for someone na pwedeng pumalit at nagkataong ikaw yung pinakamalapit. He took the chance to get rid of her. Di ko siya nakausap ng matino kagabi dahil lasing na siya tsaka bugbog sarado siya sayo."
"Wag ko lang siyang makita ulit baka mapatay ko siya Brian."
"Eh anong balak mo ngayong hindi naman pala gusto nung isa si Juliet?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean it's your chance Osh. Pwede na kayo ni Juliet."
"What the hell Bri. Wala akong planong bumalik pa don. Hindi ko siya gusto. And she never loved me, yung isa yung gusto niya. Let's move on. Magfofocus muna ako sa business nina papa at sa mga painting ko."
"Good for you. Sige na una na ako. Good luck to your new job." He tapped my back at na umalis na siya.
I was left alone in my room. Nakatambak sa isang gilid yung mga gamit na dinala ni Nanay Cecil mula sa apartment ko. Isa isa ko itong inayos dahil naaasiwa akong tingnan na nakatambak ang mga ito.
Pinatas kong muli yung mga gamit ko sa dati nitong kinalalagyan. Nilagay ko ang mga brushes ko at canvas sa isang gilid kung saan ako laging nagpe-painting. Then I saw it. I saw her painting along with my other canvas. Hinawakan ko ito at tiningnan sa huling pagkakataon.
I need to let go of the things that aren't mine.
Inilagay ko ang painting niya sa kama ko at hinanap ko kung nasaan ang mga sulat na ibinigay niya.
I will return it. I want to get rid of it.
Kumuha ako ng isang malaking kahon para magkasya yung canvas at yung mga sulat niya. Binalot ko ito at inilagay ko sa isang tabi. Ipapadala ko mamaya sa kanya.
Inayos ko ang kwarto ko at pagkatapos noon ay naligo na ako at nagbihis.Sinuot ko yung gray suit ko at yung dark blue tie na bumagay doon sa suit and I tied my long hair into a bun.Pagkatapos kong mag-ayos ay kinuha ko ang kahon na ipapadala ko at inilagay ito sa front seat ng sasakyan ko.
My car is surrounded with her smell. And I hate it. Agad akong bumalik sa kwarto ko at kinuha ko ang pabango ko. Isprinay ko ito sa loob ng sasakyan at saka ako umalis ng bahay.
I get the box out of my car at ipinadala ko ito sa dati kong pinagpadalhan ng ibinigay kong painting sa kanya. Tapos dumiretso na ako sa company namin.
Pinindot ko ang highest floor sa elevator at diretso kong tinahak ang office nina mama. Our company is a big shot in the market. We have a lot of supermarket chains around Manila and 20 chains in the provinces. Brian's family own a company which aids for the production of the products in our company. Kaya magkasundo sila ng mga magulang ko. Sa kanila kami kumukuha ng mga produkto tapos kami ang magbebenta. It's a give and take cycle for our families.
Nakita ko si mama na busy sa mga papers sa mesa niya.
"Oh bakit ka nandito?" malumanay niyang tanong sa akin.
"I want to start today. I want to learn the basics."
"Why don't you discuss this matter with your dad? Nasa meeting lang siya, mamaya kausapin mo."
"Hindi ba pwedeng ikaw na lang ang mag-explain sa'kin?"
"No anak. Learn how to communicate with him. He is the owner of this company. Siya ang mas nakakaalam ng mga ito. Kung gusto mong magkaintindihan kayo then listen to him."
"Fine."
The meeting lasted half an hour.
"Why are you here?" tanong sa akin ni papa.
"To start the work. Tell me what to do."
He loosen his tie. At hinubad ang suit na suot niya.
"You have a lot of things to learn. You're only 21. Madami ka pang dapat aralin Joshua. As an heir of this company you must know how this company works. You're going to be a CEO after me. You need to understand how to deal with certain decisions, how to close a deal and a lot more. Now, are you willing to take this or not? Kung hindi nagaaksaya lang tayo ng panahon."
"I'm fine with it."
"Any conditions that you want?"
"I want my own place here. I don't want to share a room with anybody in this company. I want my own space."
"Okay. Is that all you need?"
"No."
"Then what else?"
"If I want to leave your company you will let me do that."
He clenched his jaw.
"That's an irrational condition Joshua."
"But that's what I want."
"Then leave this company already. You do not deserve this."
I walk passed him. I hurriedly open the door of my pick-up truck at pinaandar ko ito. Fuck this life. Gusto kong suntukin lahat ng mahawakan ko. I want to die already. I want this fucking life to end.
Dumiretso ako sa puntod ni Denelle. Nandun pa rin ang binigay kong Casa Blanca sa kanya noong huli ko siyang binisita. Hinawakan ko ang puntod niya at inalis ang mga tuyong dahon dito.
"I'm sorry ngayon lang kita ulit binisita. I'm guilty Den. Binibisita lang kita pag hirap na ko sa buhay ko o kaya may galit akong nararamdaman. Because you're the only one who can heal me Den."
Pinipigilan kong hindi maiyak habang bumubulong ako sa kanya.
"Den, I met this girl. She's a lot different from you. Simula pa lang sa ugali. You're reckless and that's why I'm crazy for you. You made me feel like I'm your everything. You made me feel important. You made me feel I'm worth it. Tinuruan mo akong mag-yosi at mag-beer to forget about my feelings. Nandyan ka palagi when I don't want to be me. You pushed me to pursue what I love. And you made me feel special. Then you left me. Binalik mo na naman ako sa dati. Back to zero. There's no one left here to make me feel the way that you do. Pero Den, this girl I'm talking about, she makes me go crazy too. I talked to her about my life, my situation, I opened everything to her. I felt vulnerable around her Den. And once again, I felt it. I felt the same sensation in a short period of time. Naramdaman ko na may nagmamahal sa'kin Den. That there's someone who needs me as much as I needed you. Someone to tell me to pursue what I love and to make me feel special though she cannot see me. Pero mabilis lang ang lahat ng iyon Den. At lahat ng ipinakita niyang pagmamahal ay di naman para sa akin. The both of you left me hanging 'til the end. At ayoko ng ganitong pakiramdam. Ayokong naiiwan ako. Pagod na akong masaktan. I refused to love her back dahil hindi naman para sa akin ang pagmamahal niya. I refused this love to grow and let it wither. I refused to accept the fact that I'm slowly falling for her Den. I refused to accept the fact that she's slowly replacing your slot in my heart."
BINABASA MO ANG
Letters to Joshua
Romance"There's a man at the other side of the road. A broken man with a lost soul enticed by a lady with a spirit of a burning coal. There she is, the lady at the end of that road. A discreet lady who screams through her letters waiting for someone to rea...
