Lest I Forget

Broken Record Player

"It's kind of hard to describe, really. Um... it's like I'm suddenly someone completely different. I don't even feel like the real Scott Hoying. Like, I'm suddenly a character in a movie and I am living their so-called happy life. That's what it felt like this morning when I ran for the hills. I was on some sort of mental overload." Scott placed his hands over his eyes and rubbed them. "It's crazy, really. I almost don't even know how to describe it. You know? It's just... I really don't know."

"I can't imagine." Mitch placed his hand on Scott's leg and patted gently. "You're so strong to have the reaction that you did. I was expecting way worse."

"Worse." He scoffed and crossed his arms, feeling as though he were sinking into the back of the couch. Scott hesitated for a moment, seeking for appropriate words. He wasn't completely conveying his feelings to Mitch. Of course, he would tell this stranger who supposedly had feelings for him that he was semi-okay with the situation. Of course he'd put on a façade and hope that he could just live with that. But it wasn't the case. "Thanks. It's not easy, but it helps when you're an optimist." That part was true. If it weren't for his optimism he would never be able to survive.

Kirstin opened the door and sat down on the chair next to the couch and smiled. "So, how are you feeling, Scrat?"

"I'm okay." Scott sighed. He turned to Mitch. He was interested in getting to know this boy without a doubt, but right now he wanted Kirstin. He needed her more than ever right this moment. "Hey, Mitch. Do you mind if we continue our conversation tonight? I want to talk to Kit for a little while."

"Absolutely." Mitch smiled and stood up, grabbing his bag off the floor. "Just text me whenever and we can figure out plans and such."

"But I don't have y—"

"Check your phone for Mitch Grassi... you do." Mitch winked and headed towards the door. Scott flashed a smile at him and held onto it as he watched Mitch wave and leave the apartment. It only took a matter of seconds for Scott to completely change. He looked like he was holding in a big breath of air and as soon as the door shut his entire body just collapsed into his stomach.

"Kirstin." Scott remained facing the door, not making eye contact with her. He didn't want her to see him as he started to break down into tears, but it was inevitable whenever he started to cry and tried to suck in a breath. His entire body shook for a moment and Kirstin immediately sat down on the couch next to him and wrapped her arms around him. "W-why did this happen to me?"

"I don't know, baby. I don't know." She rocked him gently back and forth. This was, sadly, the response she was waiting for. How he held his composure around Mitch was beside her. Scott turned his head and looked at her for a moment. His expression seemed conflicted, yet very barren at the same time.

"You survived it, though. You're still with us."

"You call this surviving?" Scott laughed sarcastically and shook his head. "How am I surviving if I can't live my life out normally?" He broke away from Kirstin's hold and walked over to the table. He spotted the newspaper which sat there, untouched from breakfast. He opened it and shook his head. "This newspaper is from 2010. It's not 2010, is it? What year is it?"

"It's 2014, but that's b—"

"I've been like a broken record player for four years." Scott set the newspaper down on the table and rubbed his temples. "And you have to continually lie to me every day just so I don't have reactions like this and..." Tears succumbed Scott's ability to speak and he sunk down to the floor near the table. He closed his eyes because the tear overflow burned, and he shoved his face in his hands and sobbed, Kirstin immediately next to him on the floor, rubbing circles into his back.