Remenissions (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter 1

Lana's POV

"Oh my god." Marty whined at me. "You could have looked a little nicer."

I stopped and glared at her. Yeah I could have looked a little nicer, but what was the point? It wasn't like anyone would notice what I was wearing.

"Martina." I said through stiff lips. "It is just another party, I see no need to get dressed up."

"Fine." She said shrugging. "All I'm saying is you look nice when you put in some effort."

"And what, I look like shit now?" I snapped grabbing my bag and heading for the front door.

I already felt like an unattractive frump, I certainly didn't need my supposed friends telling me what I already knew.

"No." She said running down the stairs after me. "That's not what I meant Lana, I meant you're an attractive girl, I just wish you would see that."

I opened the car door and climbed in, turning the key and revving engine.

"I don't care what other people think of me Marty." I mumbled. "I am who I am and if they don't like it they can get lost." And there were plenty of people who didn't like it.

She opened her mouth to reply and I knew it was coming and I gritted my teeth, waiting for it.

"One day you'll meet the right guy Lana, he's out there, waiting for you."

I didn't reply, I'd heard this so many times I was genuinely sick of hearing it. Apparently Mr Wonderful was out there waiting for me. Well what if Mr Wonderful had already found someone else? What then?

Marty obviously sensed my anger because she subtly changed the subject, staring out the window. "So, what do you think the party is for?" She asked me softly.

"Oh who knows." I told her. "A chance to get together and drink, I mean they finished their tour last week......." I let my voice trail off because I honestly had no clue as to why my best friend was having this party. "I don't know." I mumbled.

"So he never told you?" She asked and I shook my head.

He hadn't said a word to me. "Just told me I had to be there, so here I am."

"Same." She mumbled, probably now regretting her earlier words because she knew she had pissed me off. "But it should be fun."

And I smiled. "It usually is." I said, pulling into the drive and waiting for the gate to open. "And excuse me?" I asked as I parked amongst the other cars and we climbed out. "Why are you coming with me and not Brian?"

"He's meeting me here." She said shortly and marching up the path.

I scrambled after her. "Did you two fight again?" I asked.

She didn't answer, she just nodded, looking a little sad.

I felt sad for her, Brian and her had been together since school, their relationship strong, or so I thought, but lately they'd just been fighting all the time and spending time apart. That just wasn't Marty and Brian and it made me a little sad. Their relationship was becoming self destructive and I feared it was coming to an end.

Ha. Who was I to pass judgement on relationships. I couldn't keep a relationship to save my life. I'd all but given up on finding one, no, I had given up on finding one and I was going to die a little old lady surrounded by her many cats.

We walked inside, both of us consumed by our depressing thoughts and looked around. The noise was coming from out the back where I expected it to be and we headed out there.

Just as we got to the back door Marty grabbed my arm. "I'm scared." She said softly and I hugged her.

"Don't be." I whispered. "You have me." And I meant it, we'd been friends for years and I'd always be there for her, even if she did piss me off frequently.

"Thanks Lana." She said softly. "That means a lot." And as I looked at her I saw the fear in her eye's, the fear of being alone, the fear of an ending relationship and I reminded myself that that was another reason I was single.

"Lana." Someone called and I looked over to see my best friend smiling at me, my best friend for twenty odd years, my best friend, the real reason I was single.

"Oh hi." I said smiling as he embraced me, hugging me tightly.

"You're late." He said smiling at me.

"Yeah well, I had work."

"Doesn't matter, you're here now." He said putting his arm around my shoulders and leading me out the back, where everybody was.

I looked around, it was the typical group of people, our group of friends from school and their respective partners. We'd always been close, nothing had kept us apart and I was proud of that fact, proud of our friendship.

"Lana." Courtney said walking over and hugging me.

I hugged her briefly. Courtney was relatively new to this group of friends, she was nice enough, I didn't hate her but I didn't like her much either, for obvious reasons.

"How are you?" I asked, stepping away from her but trying not to be obvious about it. I just didn't like her touching me. I really did try to like her, I tried so much, but it was hard for me, very hard, but I kept on trying anyway.

"Good." She said flashing her perfect smile at me. "Looking forward to relaxing."

"Hmm yes." I said, attempting to sound chipper. "I bet you had a great time."

She nodded and I looked around, trying to catch someone's eye, anyone's. Talking with her just made me uncomfortable.

Was I jealous? Maybe, I mean hell, she'd gotten the chance to give up her job, travel, be supported by her boyfriend while I had to work my ass off everyday just to try and keep my head above the water. Jealous, yes, a little, but I'd never show it, nobody would ever know and it would just be another thing nobody knew about me. There were a lot of things nobody knew about and I liked it that way. My secrets were mine and I would never share them with anybody, not even my best friend.

"Drink?" Matt asked walking over and putting his arm around my shoulders.

"I'm driving, so just a soda." I told him.

"Bullshit." He laughed. "You can stay here the night, you and I haven't been on the drink in awhile, so let's do it tonight, you and me."

I smiled and nodded, agreeing with him, but lying, because I knew later, later when he was preoccupied with his girlfriend I'd sneak off home. There was no way I was staying here.