Remenissions (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter 74

Lana's POV

Tuesday. I dreaded that day. Tuesday. Just hearing it made my stomach flip. Every Tuesday since Courtney had paid me a visit I hated. Every Tuesday Matt got up, got dressed, had breakfast and disappeared and every Tuesday I spent the day wondering where he was going. I wanted to trust him and I was trying to so much, but Courtney's words kept echoing in my head, so every Tuesday was a nightmare for me and today was no different.

After Courtney came over that day, I gave Matt plenty of opportunities to tell me that it was true, but nothing. I was confused and upset and I didn't want to say anything to him because if he knew I believed it, and none of it was true, he'd be pissed at me. So here I was, an emotional wreck, wondering if he was seeing her, wondering if she was pregnant with his child.

I'd kept my pregnancy a secret. My Mom knew and so did a Doctor friend of mine from the hospital I worked at. I'd gone to see her the next day and she'd confirmed it with a blood test. I was indeed pregnant and my guess was I was around 8 or 9 weeks now. My doctor friend tried to talk me into at least letting the hospital know I was expecting, that way they'd move me around, so I was working in less risk areas, but I didn't want that, I didn't want to chance Matt finding out before I told him. If I told him. I'd already decided if what Courtney said was true, I wasn't going to tell him, I would just sneak off somewhere and raise this baby myself.

So here I was, another Tuesday, another day Matt had gone off to do whatever, another day I was standing in the bathroom crying at myself in the mirror. Work had called and I'd agreed to go in. Why not, it was better than sitting around here all day wondering where Matt was and what he was doing.

I should have been getting ready, I was going to be late, but I was stuck in the bathroom crying and for some reason I couldn't stop. I'd done it a few times, snuck into the bathroom and cried, only this time Matt walked in, and I quickly wiped my face.

I wasn't even sure what he was doing here. It was Tuesday after all, but here he was, wanting to spend the rest of the day with me and I'd told work I'd come in. Now I wanted to cry again, because I would have preferred to spend the day with Matt.

He kissed me softly when I left, promising to wait up for me and as I climbed into my car I felt bad, bad that I'd believed anything that came from Courtney's mouth. But that little seed of doubt had been planted and no matter what I did, or what Matt did, it was still there, I still wondered if it was true.

I arrived at work, pleased to see I would be working with a few of the girls I knew. I didn't normally work in the ER, I usually worked on one of the surgical wards, but today they were desperate and had nobody, so here I was. I hadn't worked here for a few months, but it didn't take long to get back into the swing of things.

It was turning out to be pretty quiet afternoon actually and the only time it picked up was around 6 o'clock, when the usual peak hour traffic accidents came in. Luckily none of them were major, so I was able to have my break on time.

"You know Lana." Mandy, one of the regular girls who worked in the ER said, sitting down to join me. "You should come back down here, you really are a natural down here."

I shook my head. "Maybe not."

"No I'm seriously Lana, you're one of the very rare nurses who can actually think on your feet." She went on. "You're already doing what you should do before you've even thought about it, and trust me, with all the fucking idiots that work here now, I could use you here."

I was honoured, I mean I think she was complimenting me, but the ER was just not my thing. I preferred giving a little more personalized care, which was why I preferred the wards.

"Heads up you two." Someone said, sticking their head in the door. "We got an Ice head coming and he's fucking pinging."

I stood up. Great, just what we needed, a psychotic drug addict. They were the worst, they were violent, unpredictable and very dangerous and another reason why I hated working in the ER.

"He's coming in under police supervision." Terri told us as we headed out to meet the ambulance.

"That means shit." Mandy snapped, and she was right, sometimes not even the police could control them.

Fuck, I could not wait for this shift to be over. I wanted to be home already.

Thankfully the patient in question arrived passed out cold, with a police escort and we went to work straight away.

"We need a line." One of the doctor's snapped and I glared at him. I fucking hated doctors.

"Well if you can find a vein, be my fucking guest." I snapped back. This guy was on everything, all his veins had collapsed, there was nothing.

Mandy came over, searching his arm, while I made my way down his leg, looking. Bingo, I'd found one in his foot, I could barely see it, but it was there.

Suddenly, as I grabbed hold his of foot and prepared to insert the needle, he kicked out with his leg, getting me right in the stomach. I went flying back, landing on my ass, winding me. I sat there for a minute, trying to catch my breath, while Mandy screamed at the police to do their fucking job.

"You okay?" She asked me as I picked myself up of the floor and I nodded, getting straight back to it.

I fucking hated the ER and I was more than glad when my shift finally ended and I knew I wouldn't be accepting a shift back there any time soon.

When I got home the house was in darkness and as I let myself in. I figured that Matt had gone to sleep, probably to tired to wait up for me.

I snuck into the bedroom quietly and grabbed my pyjama's, going to the second bathroom and showering. I was tired and I was aching from the kick in the stomach. I couldn't wait to crawl into bed and go to sleep.

I crept into the bedroom quietly and pulled back the covers, climbing and closing my eye's. God it felt like heaven.

"How was work?" Matt whispered and I jumped a little.

"I thought you were asleep."

"Nope." He murmured, rolling over. "I told you I would wait up for you."

I smiled, glad that he'd waited up for me, because regardless of what was going on with the Courtney thing, I loved him, so much. "Work was horrible."

"It was?" He whispered back.

"Horrible and I'm exhausted."

"Sleep." He murmured, pulling me into his arms. "Go to sleep Lana." And he kissed me softly.

I closed my eye's, snuggling against him, listening to him murmur, feeling him kiss me and I started drifting off.

"I love you Lana." I heard him murmur.

I truly hoped he did.