Remenissions (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter 3

Lana's POV

Jesus fucking Christ, I was choking on a mouthful of beer. I took and drink and Matt made his announcement. Fuck, I was going to die while everyone was congratulating him.

"Jesus Lana." Johnny said, whacking me on the back. "You okay?"

I looked at him nodding, trying to catch my breath. Christ to the rescue.

"Yeah, I am now." I coughed. "Thanks." And I watched him walk off to congratulate Matt and Courtney.

I glanced around, Marty was the only other person not lining up to congratulate them and she looked at me and mouthed 'What the fuck'. I just shook my head, I had no fucking idea myself.

I looked at Matt, hugging everyone and decided I had better do that friend thing and go and congratulate him even though every cell in my body was screaming no, so I walked over, holding out my arm's.

"Congratulations." I said softly as he embraced me. "I'm sure you'll be happy." I wouldn't be, but I was sure he would be.

"Thanks Banana." He said, using the nickname for me he made up years ago. "I know it's kind of a shock, but it feels right, you know."

I nodded. "Well if it feels right." I told him. "Just as long as you're happy." And I could tell just by looking at him that he was happy and I was glad, I would gladly sacrifice my happiness for Matt, even though it was killing me.

"I'm happy." He said. "Now how about another beer?' He asked and I nodded, although I needed something a little stronger than a beer.

I watched him walk over to the bar area when someone grabbed my arm, I looked up to meet Courtney's eye's.

"Oh congratulations." I said to her and she smiled at me.

"Thank you Lana." She said.

I didn't feel like hugging her, we just weren't close enough to warrant a hug from me, even though she was marrying my best friend. "It's great news." I lied and she nodded.

Thank fuck Matt came back and handed me a beer, leaning over and whispering something in Courtney's ear that made her smile and me want to vomit and luckily at the moment Marty called out to me, waving me over.

"Excuse me." I said to Matt and Courtney, making my way over to Marty.

"Did you know about this?" She demanded as soon as I reached her.

"No I didn't." I told her and that made me feel a little sad. Once upon a time ago Matt and I used to tell each other everything, but I guess times were changing, starting with him getting married.

"It's a little sudden." Marty went on. "I mean maybe she's pregnant."

I shrugged, maybe she was.

"So anyway, I'm leaving soon." Marty said and I looked at her, realising she was upset.

"Is everything okay?" And she just shrugged. "It's fine, give me a few minutes and we can slip away okay? I'll drive you home." I told her. "And I'm pretty sure no one will miss us." And I was pretty sure no one would.

She nodded chewing her lip, close to tears. I put my beer down and headed towards the back door. Fuck it, we could leave now, I'd had enough anyway, and Marty followed behind me.

We never spoke until we were in the car and our way home.

"They fucked up my whole life." Marty suddenly burst out and I realised she was crying.

"Who?"

"Matt and fucking Courtney, they fucked up what little shred of a relationship I had." She sobbed.

"I'm sure they didn't." I reassured her, clueless as to what she was actually talking about.

"Getting engaged Lana, they got engaged, and you should have seen the look on Brian's face." She cried. "It was one of fear, fear that I might want to get engaged, although he made it perfectly clear tonight that we won't ever be getting married."

"I'm sure you're imagining it Marty." I wasn't great at comforting people, but I was trying to do my best.

"I don't even want to get fucking married Lana." She wailed. "That's the thing, I don't need to get married, I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that Brian loves me." And she started crying harder. "Not that he loves me anymore." And I wanted to reassure that he did love her, but I couldn't, I knew the way he'd been acting, I'd seen it myself.

"Look." I said softly as we pulled up out the front of her apartment block. "I'm sure you and Brian will sort this out, I mean every couple goes through a little rough patch, you two belong together, everything will be fine."

"I wish I could believe you." She said softly, opening the car door.

"Want me to come up for a bit?" I asked her, hoping she'd say no.

"Nah." She said. "I think I just want to be alone, but thanks Lana, honestly, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Catch up tomorrow." I told her, then I pulled out, heading to my place.

I was glad when I arrived at my apartment that the douche in number 4 hadn't parked in my car space because I was in no mood to deal with his shit right now, so I parked and made my way upstairs to my apartment.

I loved my apartment, it was my space, it was where I could be me, where I could do what I wanted, when I wanted and right now I wanted to get into my pyjama's, so I did just that.

I brushed my hair, pulled on my jammies, cleaned my teeth then grabbed a drink, heading into living room. I sat on the couch and stared out the big window, looking at the stars, thinking.

Then I did what I wanted to, because this was my place. I laid down on my couch and buried my face in a pillow and I cried, I cried out all of my hurt, all of my secrets, all of my heartbreak. I cried here at home, where nobody knew, because there were things nobody knew about me, things that nobody would ever know about me.

In one single night my life had been completely ruined.