Journeys(L.H)

Chapter 38

Luke's POV:

     As I read the letter, my hand shook harder and harder. I couldn't contain my emotions, all spilling out at once. I finished reading it and threw it to the ground.
    I didn't know what to do. She's gone? Just like that? She didn't tell me, give me any warning at all. I slouched down on my bed, taking deep breaths. I pressed my hand to my face, then quickly taking it away because there were wet tears covering my face, leaking out of my eyes. My mouth dropped open as another wave of shock hit my body.
She's actually gone. She's not coming back. She's sick? She never told me. The Brinley I knew wouldn't just leave everything behind.

And to think that she could've loved me back. I thought she was my best friend, other than the guys. At least she wrote me a letter. But in some ways, it hurt even more. She left a piece of her with me that I couldn't touch. She is teasing me, telling me where she's going but not where to find her.
Does she not want me to find her? Does she even like me? I know now I was stupid to fall for her and let myself get attached. Her last words floated in my head. Did she really love me or was she just saying that?
I don't know how she expected me to just leave her alone. She told me not to text her or call. If she really knows me, she would expect me to call. Which is exactly what I was good to do.

   I picked up my phone with shaky hands and clicked on her contact, which had heart emojis after it. My phone began ringing and I took a deep breath, reeling in my anger and rubbing my eyes. "Hello?" A voice rang over the speakers. My breath hitches in my throat.
   "Brinley?" I gasped, strangling on my breath. I didn't mean for it to spit out of my mouth like that but I couldn't control myself.
   She took a sharp inhale. "Luke, I told you not to call me." She said with disappointment in her voice. The last thing I wanted to do was let her down.

   "I know. But I needed to hear your voice." I said desperately to her.
   "Well, you've heard it. Now hang up, Luke." She insisted, pleading me.
    "No." I said. "Please, just say the words and I'll be gone, out of your life!" I said, trying to convince her. "I just want to know if it was ever true." My words got softer and softer with every syllable I spoke.

   She sighed heavily, but willingly. "Luke, this isn't good for you. It isn't good for me. I can't do this. Don't make me." She begged me. I couldn't just go without knowing. I'm a curious guy and I need to know.
    "Please, Brinley. Just once." I whispered, tears weakening my strength.

     "I love you." She whispered to match my tone. Then I heard a click and a dial tone. She hung up. But that's all I needed. The way her voice shook and broke.
    So it was true. She's gone now but she loved me. I can go on with knowing that at one time, she loved me.

I can't explain our bond to someone who doesn't know us. It's complicated. She was in a coma for the longest time and that's when we became the closest. I depended on her and she leaned on me for support. Before, we were fighting and not by any chance friends. I'd been rude to her the first day I met her. Then I was cocky enough to write a song about her. And she got me back by dumping water on my head. And I got her to forgive me for being a prick.

I dropped my phone next to me and slid off my bed. This didn't seem real right now. I was never going to see her again.
A rage of anger washed over my body as I stormed out of the bus. I spent a lot of time mourning over her, so I'm surprised that Calum, Michael and Ashton weren't back yet. I ran onto the One Direction bus without knocking or anything. My friends were lounging around, all having a beer.
They all stopped chattering when I entered the bus, my fists clenched at my sides and my breaths uneven.

My face grew hot and I had to bite my lip to contain the tears or screams of profanities coming out. "Hey Luke!" Niall called. "Come have a pint!" He said to me.
When I didn't respond, everyone looked up and saw my face.
"Luke, what's wrong?" Calum stood up. My body shook with anger and fiery air blew around my face.
My eyes darted around the room until I found Louis, sitting next to Harry. I pointed at him with a clenched hand.

"You," I said, one half of me trying to calm myself down and the other half wanting to rip him apart. "You knew. Why wouldn't you tell me?" I screamed, my throat getting dry and aching. Spit was flying out of my mouth at him now. I walked over to him as he stood up and roughly pushed him against the wall.

A chorus of boys' voices yelled at me and hands tried to grab my arms to calm me down. It was a bunch of yelling and grabbing before I saw Louis' eyes.

They reminded me so much of Brinley that it made me crumple to the ground, rocking back and forth on my knees.
"She's gone." I sobbed over and over again. She's not coming back.

A/N: whale Shiat. Hi. Okay byeeeee😇