Journeys(L.H)

Chapter 46

Recap:

"No, its someone we haven't seen in a long time." Ashton said before popping his head out of the door. "We are ready for you." I giggled and slowly walked in.
"It sounds like a girl." Calum snickered.
"You can open your eyes now." I said while clasping my hands behind me nervously. Would they be happy? Or angry? Would they not recognize me?

"Oh my god Brinley it's you!"

Michael rushed forward to cover me in a giant hug. I was shocked but I slowly adjusted to his tight grip on my body. Calum just stood there with his mouth open and a smile creeping into his face. His eyes were the size of bowling balls. Michael sobbed into my shoulder; I couldn't tell if it was fake or not.
   "We missed you so much!" He exclaimed. I lightly petted his hair, which was light blue now. Back when I saw him last, it was bright pink.
   "I missed you too! I like your hair like this." I said to him. "You guys put in a rocking concert by the way. I'm loving all the songs." Michael finally let go of me and I could breathe again.

   Calum stepped forward and engulfed me into a hug as well. "Hi Calum." I said with emotion.
    "Hello Brinley." He responded with the same amount of sweetness in his voice. Calum felt like a brother to me. An older brother than would go beat up my boyfriend if he broke my heart. He smelled like home too. His hair was slightly curled up into a quiff with some light blonde highlights. He still looked like the same Calum. We were all beaming.

   Until Michael's smile faltered. He shot a glance at Ashton. "Have you told Luke yet?" He asked warily. Calum looked down at his feet.
     "Um, no. We haven't gotten a chance to talk yet." Ashton said after a while.
    Michael sat down in a leather chair. He ran his hands through his hair and over his face. "This is bad." He muttered to himself.

    I was utterly confused. "Why? What's going on?" I asked them all.
   Calum looked up and shoved his hands in the jeans of his pockets. "When he found his letter from you, he went to go burn it and nearly killed himself from overdosing on alcohol and pills." Calum told me. The room went silent. A light high pitched buzzing ran him my ears.

  "Wh-what?" I stammered. I stumbled backwards a bit, like I was just bitch slapped by karma. "Please tell me that's not true. He-what?" I whispered, tears prickling my eyes and my nose starting to run. My breath was stuck in my throat, caught on words I couldn't find the strength to say. Luke had attempted suicide? Why? Why did I really matter so much to him? Why would he end his life so shortly even though he had so much to live for? He has adoring fans. He has a girlfriend. He has the best friends anyone could ever ask for.
"He got real bad when you left, Brin." Michael said, his hands shading his eyes. "We took him to so many therapists but God, none of them worked."
Luke could've been dead because of me. Because of my selfish ways. Because I wasn't focused on what he needed, I was focused on what I thought I needed. He could've been dead. "How-why?" I blurted out. Ashton seemed to know what I meant.
"His brother Jack found him on the edge of a cliff, passed out, surrounded by bottles of beer and pills. He also slit his wrist. Jack brought him straight to the hospital. We found it shortly and the doctors made sure he lived." Ashton told me with his arms folded.
"When did this happen?" I asked, still in shock.
"Two months after the tour ended. I guess it just all became to much for him." Ashton said with a light shrug.

"But he's nearly better now. He's so much better than he used to be. It was awful. You should've seen it." Calum said before falling silent.

Suddenly, a different door next to Ashton opened and out stepped Luke. "Boy, that concert was great." He hadn't turned around yet to see me. My heart bested faster than ever before. "How many people do you think we-" he stopped when he turned around and saw me.
I nearly felt like passing out just at the sight of him. His hair was damp and his little facial hair clung to his chin in messy patches. "Brinley?" He whispered so softly I almost didn't hear it.
Oh god, I thought. This can't be real. Say something! Say anything!
"Is it really you?" He whispered again, his blue eyes drilling into my soul and tiny tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. I didn't dare look away. I couldn't. I was trapped in his gaze.
"It was a really good concert." I said sheepishly to match the tone in the room. The tension building up was getting higher and higher as Ashton, Calum or Michael did and said nothing.

"Oh my god." He rushed forward and wrapped his arms around me. Being held by him was one of the best feelings in the world. I could feel the love and sadness radiating off of him.
I hugged him right back, my arms grasping his neck. I could feel him shaking in my arms. "Is this real? Am I dreaming? Please tell me I'm dreaming." Luke sobbed quietly into my shoulder and I finally let myself go, the tension releasing and I let a tear roll down my cheek, followed by many more.

"This is real. I'm here. I'm here. You are not dreaming." I said to him as reassurance.

"I swear to god I'm dreaming, but if I am, I never want to wake up because this is what I've been dreaming of for two years."

A/N: my eyes are leaking too. Fack. Shiat. This is too much. But literally imagine being the cause for someone's death. The worst thing in the world. Okay byeee💏