Journeys(L.H)

Chapter 43

"10...9..."

A loud robotic voice started counting down as the concert was about to start. My nerves were on high and I couldn't stand still. I hadn't bitten my nails in years, but now I had to. I was cracking my knuckles, my spine, my neck, anything to calm me down. I tried braiding my hair and breathing slowly but nothing worked. It felt like I'd drunk three energy drinks and the decided to ride a roller coaster.

I remember back to the time on tour in the bathroom right after Luke had punched Caspar. I had had a pretty bad panic attack. Maybe that was what's happening right now. I didn't have any more since it had happened so long ago.
Having panic attacks like these feel like I'm trapped in a small closet with my worst fears outside of the closet and you can't decided which is worse; in the closet or out with everything you fear. But it gets worse when the air thins and you can't breath and tears are streaming down your cheeks and your heart is running faster than you've ever ran. Your whole world is crashing down and you have to try and hold it up alone. That how I felt when my world was falling apart. So much had happened that night. It felt more like a month than less than a day.
I can't help but think if I hadn't gone with Harry to get food then maybe none of this would've happened.
But I still didn't bring my pills, nonetheless. And that was the worst mistake ever.

"Omigod omigod omigod." Annabelle breathes in and out with her words as the voice reached one. And then the poster that had been covering the stage was raised.
"Ladies and gentlemen, 5 Seconds of Summer!" The voice boomed and din blue lights illuminated a figure playing the drums. I immediately knew it was Ashton. I also recognized the beat and analyzed it. My heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest right then with pride and half nervousness. I felt like a proud mother to these boys because I'd seen them grow up.

Then a tall silhouette waltzed across the stage to a spot on the far stage left holding a guitar. He stepped up onto a black platform. I couldn't recognize who it was because it was too dark.
Another figure did the same as the first, but took a spot on the far stage right. He was also holding a guitar and stood up on the platform, same as the first. I tried to fight it off, but a small smile settled across my lips.

Finally, a fourth boy entered the stage. He walked out and screams were very loud from the fans. He took his spot in the center but not in a platform. My stomach rose and I felt nauseous. My head was spinning and my fingers felt cold and my whole body weak and shaky.
A single guitar chord sounded from one of the three on stage. Ashton stopped playing his drums. Screams echoed like little lost souls screaming for help in a cave around the arena. Dramatically, Ashton started playing the beginning to one of their songs. Quickly, yellow lights flew up and the whole stage was illuminated. My eyes widened as the four boys concentrated themselves in their instruments.

Michael was on stage right, Calum stage left and Luke stood his ground front and center. I would have never thought of Luke to be the frontman because he could be shy. But how would I know? I haven't seen or talked to him in two years.
I focused my attention back on the stage. They were singing one of their songs that I didn't know the name to. I didn't know most of their songs because I wanted to stay away from them at all times. But they sounded good. They have matured a ton since 2013.

When Luke has belted lit the first words of the song, I became dizzy and shocked. A wave of nostalgia rushed over my body and I could barely stand up and focus by myself.
He had changed so much. I had expected his voice to be deeper but I didn't think he had changed this much. I fixed my eyes on his face for the first time in years. He had grown some scruffy beard that somehow looked attractive on him. His blue eyes and lip ring hadn't changed. I hope they were the saw eyes that had seen me when I woke up at the hospital. I hope they are the same eyes that trusted me and loved me for so long.
I never got the chance to tell him in person that I loved him. That's what is slowly killing me. The waiting and wondering if he's thinking about me.

I shook my head and shut out my thoughts. I listened to the music instead. "Next day out, everybody thought you were so insane because you were so far out of my league." They sang. That made me laugh. They don't know that all the fans in here would love to date you. They don't know that everyone else is out of your league.

"How did we end up talking in the first place?" I decided to let go and dance. Let go of my feelings and just dance to the music. This was a talented music group and they have good music.

When the song was over, fans screamed and Luke held his hands down for silence. "Alright, thank you all for being here tonight!" He said. I gasped a bit because his Australian accent that had been so prominent was faded and barely noticeable.

Luke's eyes looked over the crowd, but he didn't see me in the shadows, hiding from those eyes that had loved and lost so much.

A/N: ooh he didn't see her shocker ayueeee okay byeeeee🎃