Kidnapped by Kylo Ren (Star Wars)

Chapter Forty-One

(Author's Note: This chapter is in Nira's point of view.)

I awoke the next morning drenched in a sticky sweat. Within seconds of my consciousness, the ball that preceded tears formed in the middle of my throat. I swallowed hard and blinked several times to bat away that tears that were creating in my eyes. 

I didn't have a specific reason as to why I was sad -- well, that's not true; I had several reasons to grieve. I truly think that I was just entirely heartbroken about everything. 

That morning, one of the reasons I began crying was because I woke up to flashbacks of my mother falling before me. 

Also on that melancholic morning I came to the depressing realization that there was no one left in the universe I could trust. I had initially strongly distrusted and detested Kylo Ren because of what he'd done on Tunstead, but he had slowly gained my trust as we had grown closer and my stay on The First Order's base lengthened. Kylo Ren never completely owned a strong deposit of my trust, but he had some of it. As he mentally tortured me yesterday, all of my trust in him was quickly whisked away and most likely never to be found again.

However . . . I need him. 

He was the only person left in the universe who had any need for me. He was the only one who found me necessary or wanted me alive. Therefore, I needed Kylo Ren. Without Kylo Ren I would be wanted by no one. It's horrible enough to realize that out of the billions of beings out there only one person wants you, but I can only imagine that knowing no one needs you is worse. 

The contradictory between my feelings on Kylo Ren was mentally upsetting. I hated him but I needed him and I loathed myself for it. I couldn't trust him but I had to. I had to trust that he would continuously find a need for me. I cringe at his touch but I crave it simultaneously because I feel some essence of his affection when his skin touches mine. 

The conflict between such strong emotions was enough to bring me to the brink of broken. I was living on the edge of falling down a mentally insane pathway that I would never resurface from.

I sat up and wiped the wetness from the corners of my eyes.

There was a note on my nightstand (why was I not surprised?). I picked it up and opened it to view the neat scrawl.

'Nira, 

Training at ten. 

Kylo'

Shorter note than usual, I thought, getting up to check the clock. I rapidly got ready and began heading down to the training arena. 

I dreaded any confrontation with Kylo Ren, both because I was terrified him due to yesterday and I felt like it would be extremely awkward just being around him. I was entirely made up of apprehension and worry as I made my way down to the training arena. I would've done anything to avoid meeting him anywhere, but I knew I had no choice. 

I walked into the training arena to see that the hidden table was above the ground. Kylo Ren was standing with his back towards me; he seemed to be in the midst of a conference with someone, for his holograph display was doing it's job on the table.

"It's probably just a rumor. The cult hasn't been active in months." Kylo Ren's deep electrical voice echoed off of the walls. I stopped in my steps and stared at his back, listening intently to his conversation. The door slid shut behind me.

"Kylo Ren, we need to take precaution. Why are you so reckless?" A snide voice emerged from the holograph display. I immediately worried about what imminent danger Kylo Ren was possibly putting everyone into now.