Kidnapped by Kylo Ren (Star Wars)

Chapter Sixty-Seven

I forced myself to remain sitting in a seat while the girl I loved was being tampered with only a few feet away. I was not going to wait much longer.

I had to know if she was going to be alright.

_____

The entire ride back to The First Order's base was a whirlwind of terrifying action. Several times, Nira's heart nearly stopped beating, but thanks to the expertise of the paramedics that we brought along, they did not allow her to fall into lifelessness. No one knew why Nira's body seemed to be trying so desperately to fail, but it certainly scared me. 

The thought of not having the chance to truly express what I felt for her before she passed was excruciating. 

Let's say that Nira did die before I was able to tell her that I loved her. I would endure the funeral and the burial that I would ensure she received. I would technically 'survive' all of it. My body would naturally continue to function; however, my mind would not. I would technically be living, but I would not be truly alive. It would literally be the complete destruction of me. 

We arrived back to the base after several hours -- we did not travel through space by means of hyperspeed because that would be unsafe with Nira unconscious, in a stretcher, and being operated on -- and Nira was immediately escorted to the infirmary. On the way back to the base, in the ship, I had had a conference with Hux and arranged for him to evaluate the remaining doctors and see if there were any traces of treachery in any of them. 

I was absolutely furious with the doctors who had committed treason. Recently, several employees had been committing treason and, in my anger, I nearly ordered a base-wide loyalty evaluation. The traitors needed to be weeded out and executed. 

I know that I did truly wish to tell Nira that I loved her. I really desired to do so. However, I didn't know if it was the best of ideas for a few reasons. 

What if I told Nira the extent of my feelings for her and she panicked? Maybe she didn't feel the same way towards me, or maybe the thought of me loving her would freak her out, or maybe my love would terrify her for some other odd reason. I did not want to elicit a negative reaction from her; if I did so, she could possibly want to shut me out forever. 

There was also the high possibility that someone could discover my secret. That, as I've previously explained, would destroy us. We could both be banished, or killed, for unreasonable conduct or a variety of other feasible offenses. I could be separated from her permanently, or worse. 

There were endless things that could go wrong if I confided in Nira the range of affection I felt for her. I was torn between the options of recklessly declaring my true feelings for her or not taking the extreme risk of doing so.

I received a call (via hologram) a week after rescuing Nira. I recognized that it was one of the head doctors from the infirmary upon answering. I was silent until he took the notion to speak. 

"Sir, Nira is nearly fully recovered. She is ready to be aided back to the cell by the end of this evening." The man announced. I felt an elated sensation in my chest, like an expanding bubble of excitement, as the words came through the hologram display. 

I concealed my thorough delight behind a monotonous tone and replied with, "Excellent. I will be the one to bring her back to my cell. I will do so this evening, after dinner."

My entire day felt incredibly slow after that phone call because of my impatience; I needed to see her!

 I scarfed down my dinner and resisted the urge to sprint to the infirmary immediately afterwards. I was so ecstatic and anxious to retrieve Nira and finally get to touch her once again. I was exhilarated by the fact that I knew she was safe.