Chapter 36

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*DEANS POV*

We've been at the hospital everyday this week. After Jonah came out of surgery they told us the typical.. "We've done all we can do. It's up to Jonah now" Those words rang in my head all day everyday. These people are fucking doctors! They're supposed to save people! So what? We're supposed to just sit here and wait for him to wake up?

I grabbed Jonah's hand. "Hey Jaz, can you hear me?"

Everyone left for a while, to get something to eat.. It's the first time Noah has left this room. He needed the fresh air. But he'll be back, sitting in his chair and holding Jonah's hand saying his prayers.. I made Mia go home so she could get some rest for school tomorrow. So it's just me.. Sitting here in this dim room trying to figure out what to say to Jonah.. Waiting for him to wake up.. What if he doesn't wake up?.. This is all my fault.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry man" for the first time in years I let the tears fall.

I felt so pathetic and weak. I hated it. But I couldn't help it.. This was my fault.

"I'm so sorry Jaz. This is all my fault" I sobbed. "I didn't mean for this to happen! This wasn't supposed to happen!"

I held his hand tightly with both of mine. "I didn't mean it! You gotta wake man"

"What didn't you mean?" I heard a soft voice say.

I knew it was Mia. I straightened myself up and wiped the tears from my face.

"I thought I told you to go home" I mumbled.

She walked over to me and stood in front of me. "What didn't you mean? What are you hiding from me Dean?"

She tilted my face up to look at her. She's been crying.. I've caused so much pain for everyone. I looked at Jonah and I was overpowered by my emotions. At this point I couldn't even fake strong anymore. My brothers blood is on my hands.. And that's something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life.

"I didn't mean it" I sobbed. "This wasn't supposed to happen"

Mia immediately wrapped her arms around me. I buried my face in her stomach. It felt good to just hug her.

"I need to know what's going on" she whispered as she caressed my hair.

"Miguel. He's not gonna stop" I sniffled.

She pulled away to look at me, she looked confused. "Miguel?" Her eyes narrowed down at me. "He did this?"

I just nodded my head.

"That son of a bitch!" She yelled.

"And he's going to keep doing this until.." I trailed off, not sure if I wanted to tell her.

"Until what?" Her watery eyes looked down at me. "Until what Dean?"

"Until he gets his money.."

"How much money?"

I put my head down. "15000"

She walked away from me and stood by the window. She folded her arms and stared at me.

"Were you going to ask for my help?" She asked. "Were you going to asks for anyone's help? Or did you think you could handle this all by yourself?" She asked. "Were you even gonna tell me?"

I couldn't even look at her. Maybe if I had told her, none of this would've happened.

When I didn't answer her she nodded her head understandingly. "Of course you weren't.. Because you couldn't put your pride aside for just one second, and ask for help!! You think that you can handle everything on your own!!"

"What do you want me to say Mia?! I'm sorry!?" I asked. "I've said that!! A billion fucking times!!" I paused. "What do you want me to do!? Beg for forgiveness!?" I asked. "Because I've done that too!! More times, than I can count.." I just stared at her defeated. "I don't know what else to doa"

*MIA'S POV*

I've never seen Dean this way.. So defeated.. So powerless..

I hate it.. I hate all of this. This isn't fair. I ignored the discomfort in my stomach and swallowed the lump in my throat. Now would probably be the worst time to throw up that McChicken I ate a while ago.

"In your head, it's you against the world.. You've built this wall, and you've built it so high that no one has been able to climb over it. Not even me.. Your so use to doing things by yourself, you don't have to anymore.. You think your alone Dean.." I shook my head at him. "Your not. I am trying to help you. I've been trying to help you.. But I can't if you won't let me! You are only one person! You can not do everything by yourself!! You need to let me in.. Because if you don't, your gonna wake up one day and I won't be there.." I sobbed.

He came over to me and grabbed my hand. "I'm trying"

I sniffed. "Don't push me away Dean"

Sorrow clear on his face, he kissed my hand. "I won't. I promise I wont"

"Asking for help doesn't make you any less of a man. I love you" he wiped my tears. "Will you let me help you?"

He nodded his head and kissed me. "I love you"

We both sat on the couch and stared at Jonah in silence.

You wake up soon Jonah. We love you..

About 20 minutes later I jumped up from the couch and ran to the bathroom and spilled my guts out once again, for the hundredth time today. Dean was behind me holding my hair up and rubbing my back.

"Ugh! Don't look at me. This is disgusting" I told him.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked concerned.

"Just a little food poisoning. Remind me to never go back to that McDonald's by our school. They're not the cleanest"

I threw up again and Dean looked away scrunching his face up. "I think I'm gonna be sick" he gaged.

Such a drama queen..

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