Raising Isaiah (No future updates)

Chapter 2

2.

"Alright Miss. Redd, please put your feet up on the stirrups."

Awkwardly, I placed the soles of my feet onto the metal stirrups, drawing my knees together—the paper gown did nothing to cover anything below my belly button. Though uncomfortable, I was glad Jada and I had discovered there were free, confidential clinics that specialized in my type of situation.

I watched as the doctor slipped on rubber gloves. "Good, now I am going to need you to open your legs."

I craned my neck to peer at the woman. "If my test came back positive, why do we need to do this?"

The doctor gave a small smile. "I need to determine the size of your uterus and pelvis."

I nodded, "Oh, right."

Slowly, I lowered my head back down on the cot and sighed dramatically. Nobody had ever seen my vagina besides for myself, and...well Zeke. I wasn't used to being this exposed and the word "self-conscious" wasn't enough to describe how I felt at the moment. But even so, I slowly pulled my legs apart.

I flinched when I felt her two fingers penetrate me while her other hand pressed down on my abdomen. She made a few noncommittal noises before removing the gloves. "I'll give you some time to get changed."

I watched as she exited the room, the door clicking shut behind her.

I felt numb as I pulled on my jeans and sweater. It'd been two whole weeks since I took the pregnancy test at Jada's house. Two whole weeks of me pretending that nothing had changed in my life and that this all was a bad dream that I had yet to wake up from.

       "Because you have told me when your last period was, I'm able to see when you conceived so it is very safe to say that you're about eight weeks and a couple of days."

I tucked my lip inside my mouth. I was eight weeks pregnant. Had I really been avoiding this reality for two months?

"Your blood level is fine. Tell me, have you been experiencing morning sickness?"

I nodded as I remembered the egg and cheese omelet spattering against the white snow near the bushes on the side of my house. The nausea had been hitting me hard all week and I had to lie about having the flu to anyone who questioned my vomiting. I hadn't eaten anything else after throwing up this morning and from the sounds of its gurgling, my stomach was mad at me.

"Well that's normal. Some women experience it at the beginning of the pregnancy and some don't at all. It just depends on your body."

I crossed my legs at the ankle. "Am I too far along for..." I trailed off, I couldn't bring myself to say the word abortion at the moment. It was like a forbidden word that I was afraid the entire world would hear if I ever said it out loud.

She patted my leg. "Let's talk about your options. You have three."

I patiently waited for her to continue. "The first, is your choice to raise the baby."

I delibertately shook my head at that. There was no way.

The doctor must have noticed my disconcertion because again she patted my leg. "You have time to think about it. Your other option is to place the baby up for adoption."

"Adoption?" Again my eyebrow rose. I hadn't even thought about that alternative.

To be honest I just wanted to get rid of this huge mistake but the thought of this baby having someone who wanted it and would take care of it did tug at my heart. But if I chose that route, everybody would know I was pregnant.