ONE SHOT WRITING CONTEST (Featuring: Feb-ibig)

ENTRY NO.39

TITLE: "Optical Love"
Sub-Genre: Drama/Tragic
by Engkandyosache  

"Oh' I could say that I'll be all your need but that would be a lie, I know that I'd only hurt you, I know I'd only make you cry, I'm not the one you needing, I love you goodbye!"

Hik... hik... hik...

Sunod-sunod kong hikbi matapos sabayan ang kanta ni Celine Dione habang nasa Eastwood Cloud 9 Bar & Resto ako't nagpapakalasing, eksenang nadatnan ng best friend kong si Heidi. Unang beses niya akong makitang umiiyak, nagpapakalango sa alak at durog na durog dahil sa sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman.

Sa hindi nila malamang dahilan ay patakbo akong umalis kanina sa surprise engagement party na inihanda ni Nemo, pagkalipas ng ilang oras ay saka ko pa lang siya tinawagan para papuntahin sa nasabing lugar.

"Early this morning, I found out that I have stage three lymphatic leukemia. The doctor told me that I only have a year to live, though I need to undergo some chemotherapy sessions, it's just to give my life a bit extensions but it doesn't assure that my cancer cells will gone." I explained as tears fell down on my face and we're hugging so tight.

Alam kong batid ng matalik kong kaibigan ang takot na nasa loob ko pero hindi muna siya nagsalita, sa halip ay tahimik ding pumatak ang kanyang mga luha habang yakap ako ng mahigpit para kumalma. Noong bahagya na akong nahimasmasan, umalis sandali si Heidi para bayaran ang bill sa counter, nang mapag-isa'y natulala ako sa mga usok ng sigarilyo na naglalaro sa hangin.

Ulilang lubos na ako, maliban kay Heidi na nakasama ko sa kinalakihang orphanage ay wala na akong ibang itinuturing na kamag-anak. Mayroon na siyang sariling pamilya kaya kahit mawala ako ay alam kong magiging maayos ang kalagayan niya.

Unlike my situation, I am technically alone and my days are numbered. I have nothing to lose, so I decided that after that night, I also have to give up the most important person in my life, I have to walk away from the man I truly love.

Nemo is my ideal man. He's also my companion, my comforter, my clown, my prince charming. He's the one that I asked from God to cherish me, to protect me, and to love me forever, but how come that our 'forever' has to end this soon on its toughest way? Life is so unfair!

My world stopped not because of the thought that I got ill but the thought of the possibility of leaving him behind, alone. I intend not to tell him about this matter, I don't want him to pity me. I don't want him to stay because of it, I don't like him to go either, but I had gotten plans to go away for I don't want to see him seeing me dying, I'll go away without him knowing it.

Leaving him was the best act for me to do. It may sound selfish but I know this is the righteous way for me to hide him the pain. I know he'll hate me for the fact that I left with no basis, I know this will cloud his love for me, I feel sorry for him.

Natigil ang pag-iisip ko nang yayain ako ni Heidi para umuwi pero tumanggi akong sumama dahil buo na ang desisyon kong magpakalayo-layo, pumayag siyang ilihim ang kalagayan ko at kung saan ako pupunta sa kundisyong ipagpapatuloy ko ang pagpapagamot at hindi puputulin ang komunikasyon sa pagitan naming dalawa.

Far from him, my health wasn't change. I know I'll going to die in pain without seeing him, before my journey ends.

They say that miracles happen, but for me, should I expect for it? I don't know. I began to pity myself. Day and night, my room witnessed me sob and my pillows are bathed by my tears. I thought that we're meant to be, I thought our joy is complete, I thought we will grow old together. I thought and I thought... I have so much 'I thought', yet they just remain unthought-of!