Hopeless

Chapter 9

I yawn, stretching as I slowly begin to wake up. I reach for Shane across the otherside of the "bed" only to find his half of the blanket. I blink my eyes open to find that I'm alone in the tent. I slip my shoes on and go outside to find Shane, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I walk. The bright morning sun shining in my face, as I look around and see almost everyone is already awake. I see him sitting by the empty fire pit sharpening his knife. He smiles at me as I approach him.

"Hey baby." I lean down and kiss him. "Did you sleep ok?" He asks me as I sit down beside him.

"Yeah, great actually." I smile, unsure if I should say anything about what I heard him say before I fell asleep. "Have you seen Rick?" I ask him, worrying because I haven't seen him yet.

"Lori's letting him sleep in." I nod, relaxing. "You hungry?" He asks holding out a small bowl of wild berries.

"Yeah, thanks." I smile at him as I take the bowl from his hands. He continues sharpening his knife as I eat the berries. I watch the people around us, the kids playing, the parents busying themselves in their daily chores. I catch Shane watching me out of the corner of my eye. I turn to look at him, he had stopped sharpening his knife and was just watching me with this indescribable look in his eyes. "What?" I ask him, a smirk spreading across his face. I laugh a little, playfully pushing his arm. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" He leans in, so our faces are inches apart. We've been together for months and the thought of him still gives me butterflies.

"Cuz you're just so damn beautiful." He whispers, his warm breath on my lips. I lean into him, filling in the space between us. I close my eyes, as he presses his lips to mine kissing me slowly. I drop the bowl, spilling the berries all over the ground. I turn my body to face him completely, placing my hands on his cheeks. He scoots closer to me, gripping my thigh as he continues to kiss me. He deepens the kiss. I freeze when I hear someone clear their throat from across the fire pit. Shane and I quickly pull away, heat instantly rushing to my cheeks. I turn to see Glenn standing there, his face just as red as mine.

"Sorry..I-uh-Dale sent me to ask if you could grab the water today, he's trying to fix the RV and Lori's busy..." He says looking at Shane. Shane runs a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, sure. As long as Katie doesn't mind taking perimeter watch."

"I don't mind."

"Ok, cool. Thanks." Glenn mutters awkwardly. I laugh as he walks away. Shane and I both stand.

"Be careful out there, ok? Make sure you bring your gun. Don't use it unless you have to. You probably won't need it, but I don't wanna take that chance."

"Ok, I'll be careful, I promise." I smile at him, making him smile.

"I'll see you when you get back." He says as he kisses me on the cheek. I nod, a huge smile on my face. I go back to the tent and grab my gun off the little table beside the entrance. I slide it behind the waistband of my jeans and head back outside. I walk into the woods, keeping my eyes open for walkers. After about a half hour of roaming around the woods I notice something strange about one of the trees in the distance. I examine it closer and see a reddish-black ooze dripping off a few of the lower leaves. I rub some of it in between my fingers and the stench of rotten flesh instantly reaches my nose. I gag and wipe the disgusting substance off of my fingers, realizing that it's walker blood. I continue walking, following the trail the walker left behind. I jump when I hear a branch snap a few feet ahead of me. I quietly pull my gun from my pants. I raise it in front of me, as I slowly creep forward. I walk out into a clearing and immediately see the walker tearing away at a small deer. Fear and sadness races through me. That could be me one day, that will be me one day. Empty, hungry...alone. I'll be a monster. The reality of what the world I live in has become hits me hard, like a slap in the face. The body of the man that walker once was turns to face me, deer blood and guts hanging from it's mouth. I close one of my eyes and take aim at the middle of it's forehead. My hands shake as I slowly bring my finger to the trigger. I pull my finger back but there was no shot. I lower the gun and look into the eyes of the walker that was now limping toward me. I frantically take apart the gun, trying to fix the jam. I fumble with the pieces as the dead man gets closer. It reaches it's hand out toward me, snapping it's bloody jaw through the air. I drop the pieces of the gun from my shaking hands and helplessly back away. My back presses against one of the many trees that surround the clearing. I scream desperately for shane. "SHANE!"  My screams agitate the walker, as it swings it's arm at me. I hear footsteps running toward me. I turn my head and see Shane, and most of the group running to my rescue.

"Katie!" Shane screams, as he jumps in front of me. The walker lunges at us. He elbows it in the face and shoves it to the ground.

"Is she ok?!" Rick calls as he comes running to the scene.

"I've got her! I've got her!" Shane answers as he waves Rick away. Shane turns to me as Rick and the rest of the group start beating the crap out of the walker. "Are you ok? Did it get you? Are you scratched?" Shane bombards me with questions as he gently takes my face in his hands, turning me head side to side, checking for marks.

"It didn't get me, I'm ok...." I stop his examination by pulling him into a tight hug. He wraps his arms tightly around me and leans his head on my shoulder. "I'm ok..." I whisper again "Hey Shane...?" I say after a moment. He picks his head up and I meet his gaze, staring intently into his eyes. I now realize there is no time to waste, I could've died just then and he never would have known how I feel. "I love you too...."