Hopeless

Chapter 36

I look up at Daryl then we both run outside to see what all the commotion was about. I stop dead in my tracks too shocked too move when I see my big brother guiding a walker toward the barn, the only thing keeping it away from him was the metal pole that would have been used to control a stray dog before all of the this. Hershel walks beside him guiding another, smaller, walker toward the barn.

"Rick!" I scream as Hershel struggles to maintain control of the flailing corpse. It jerks closer to Rick so close it could almost grab him. Everyone runs to the barn, meeting Hershel and Rick at the double doors.

"Rick what the hell is going on?" Lori asks from the back of the group, with Carl and Sophia cowering behind her.

"The barn is secure. I checked it myself. This is Hershel's home, we follow his rules. This is what he wants." Rick replies hesitantly.

"You're kidding right?" Shane asks angrily. "You just found out everyone you love is sleeping next to a horde of these dead pieces of shit and you want to help collect them like trophies!? They're dangerous Rick!"

"They're sick!" Hershel yells. "Somebody somewhere is gonna find a cure and they'll fix them!" He says in denial.

"There is no one else you stupid old man! We're all that's left! They're dead and unless you've got Jesus on speed dial there ain't NOTHING anyone can do to bring them back." Shane yells.

"No. I won't believe that." Hershel says calmly.

"Shane that's enough!" Rick yells.

"You're right man that is enough." He whips out his gun. I snap into action, my heart threatening to beat right out of my chest. I throw myself at him. 

"No Shane don't!" I cry. He grabs me around the waist with one arm, holding me back while he fires his gun with the other. He shoots the dead women over and over everywhere except the head. "See that? Gun shot to the heart and she still keeps coming!" He shoots again. "And coming and coming! Could a sick person do that?! Hmm?" He screams. He pushes me aside and takes the axe from beside the barn door, hacking at the metal chain. Everyone is screaming at him, trying to get him to stop but it was no use. It all happens so quick. Rick tries to hand off the walker he's holding so that he can try to stop him, but it's too late. The chain cracks and Shane throws the broken metal to the side, pulling the barn doors open. Everyone goes silent, the only sounds are the never ending hungry groans of the dead. Their black decaying nails scratching at the inside of the barn trying to make their way out. Shane backs away from the barn. He stands at the front of the group beside Daryl and I. Everyone pulls of their weapons as the first few walkers begin to stumble out. Suddenly the air erupts in deafening gun fire. I pull my gun from it's holster and shoot the walker Rick was holding. He nods thanking me silently then he pulls out his gun shooting at the dozens of walkers wading out of the barn. Shane shoots the walker in Hershel's hands. Hershel drops down on his knees. His arms hanging hopelessly by his sides. I turn and open fire on the walking dead. My heart shatters when I hear Beth scream on the top of her lungs.

"Momma!" Maggie holds her as they both cry hysterically. Hershel cries out as a bullet sears through her rotting skull. She falls motionlessly to the ground next to the others. They just keep coming and coming. Bits of dead flesh and blood splatter with every pull of the trigger. Until finally everything goes quite. I lower my gun, breathing heavily. My skin crawls as a small grumble escapes from the barn. My stomach launches into my throat as a tiny corpse stumbles uneasily out of the open doors. Her long blonde hair caked with dried blood. My stomach catches in my throat, my heart splintering into millions of pieces.

"Oh god!" I cry. "Oh god no! NO!" I scream on the top of my lunges. Hot tears stream down my faces, I just keep screaming, overwhelmed with emotion. "Sarah!" I cry. I lunge forward running toward her. But a strong muscular arm wraps around me holding me back. I fight his grip. "NO! No Sarah no!" I scream. I kick and scream trying to get to her. " Sarah!" But the grip around my waist doesn't budge. I crumble to the ground. His strong arms still wrapped around me. 

"Shhh." He whispers over my screaming. "She's gone Katie." Daryl says gently. I wrap my arms around his neck, clinging to him. I bury my head in his neck crying hysterically, shock, guilt, and grief boiling in my blood. She was my responsibility, I took her in, I took her away from her father. I was supposed to protect her. I loved her so much in the short time we had together and now there she is standing dead in front of me, a huge bite mark gouged in the side of her neck. I failed her. I killed her. I clench my eyes shut as Rick puts a bullet in her head. I scream out in agony as her body falls to the ground with a thump. I pull away from Daryl crawling along the ground to her. "Katie don't!" Rick calls to me. I ignore everyone's protests. I pull her small limp body onto my lap, resting her head on my shoulder. I scream and cry, rocking her back and forth, her arms hanging limply toward behind her. "Oh god." I cry. "I'm so sorry." I whisper to her. "I'm so so sorry." I hold her tightly to me, her cold forehead tucked under my chin. I hear screaming, but I can't here what they're saying. Everything around me is fuzzy, my whole world is falling apart around me. I feel a cold hand wrap around my upper arm, I feel the sting as jagged finger nails dig into my skin. I turn and see a decaying walker snapping it's jaw at me from the ground. I stare at it, not moving an inch. Part of me prays it bites me, I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve this baby, I couldn't even take care of the beautiful child I now hold dead in my arms. A single gunshot rips through the air and the walker's hand falls from my arm. I look back to Sarah, her blank grey eyes staring unblinkingly at the sky above us. I gently close her eye lids. My wet tears drip from my face, splattering on her cold cheek. I rub my thumb lightly across her face, drying her cheek. I stare at her tiny face, pretending she's asleep and that she's going to wake up any second. I flinch when someone places their hand on my shoulder. I pull away, wanting to be left alone. I see Rick out of the corner of my eyes, but I don't acknowledge him.

"Come on Katie." He whispers softly. "It's time to go inside." Shane squats down in front of me, taking Sarah gently in his arms. "No no no!" I cry as he tries to pull her away.

"Shh it's okay. It's gonna be okay." Daryl whispers as he wraps his arms around my waist from behind. He pulls me to me feet, with Rick at my side, as Shane carries Sarah toward the tree where Otis's memorial is. "No you can't! You can't take her!" I scream. Rick pulls me into him. My heart retching as Sarah gets further and further away. I don't hug him back, I don't cry, I just stand there my mind completely blank. I can't move, I can't speak, I don't know how to keep going, all of the hope had been sucked out of me. Hershel's going to make us leave, this baby is never going to have a happy life, and I can't even protect the people I love. I have nothing without hope. I am nothing.

**Author's Note: Sorry for any grammar mistakes I still have to go back and edit. Thank you all so much for reading this story! All of your comments and supports mean the world to me! I would really appreciate to hear how y'all think this story is going so far. Thanks in advance! <3 <3**