Hopeless

Chapter 42

**Trigger Warning**

I close my eyes letting myself drift back in time. I take a deep breath and everything that happened floods out of me like water that has been held behind a dam for way to long.

~Flashback~

I was sixteen, maybe seventeen at the time. I was a junior in high school. Randall and his older brother Ryan went to the same high school as I did. I never really thought much about him. I was the quiet girl, that always sat at the back of the class. I didn't have many friends, no one really talked to me. Randall was the complete opposite. He was a dick head jock, always surrounded by people trying to get in his friend group. He was the star baseball player and the most popular boy at school. All of the girls swooned over him so of course I was surprised when he came to my locker one day after math class. At first I completely ignored him, because why would someone like him want to talk to someone like me.  He leaned in front of me, his hand leaning on the edge of my locker.

"It's Katherine, right?" He says, with a smile.

"Katie." I answer, my heart in my stomach. He was talking to me...me of all the girls he could be talking to right now.

"Right, so my parents are going away for the weekend and I'm having this party Tomorrow night. Just a lowkey thing and I was wondering if you'd want to come?" I grab the books I need for my next class and close my locker.

"What, really?" I ask, not able to hide my surprise.

"Yeah, I mean unless you don't want to come..."

"No I do." I say a little too enthusiastically. "I mean uh yeah, I'll be there."

"Great, the party starts at 8."

"Okay, awesome see you there." He smiles and turns to walk away but he stops and turns back to me.

"Wear that blue dress with the ruffles you wore last week. It brings out your eyes." I look down, blushing. He laughs to himself then walks away. I think about it all through the entire next class. I was invited to an actual party by THE Randall Culver, and what surprised me the most was that he actually pays attention to what I wear...he looked at my eyes. I go straight home and tell my mom about it. Like I said I don't have many friends to talk to. I rummage through the clean clothes I have piled on my desk chair to find my blue dress. I lay it out across my desk and spend an hour picking out the perfect shoes, and accessories to go with it. I pick out my favorite necklace, my mother gave it to me on my thirteenth birthday. My nana gave it to her and her mom had given it to her before that, it has been in our family for generations. It's my most prized possession. I lay it out gently over the dress. I smile to myself knowing I now have the perfect outfit for the party. I barely sleep that night, I was too busy going over and over what I was going to say, how I was going to do my makeup, etc. The next day felt like forever every minute felt like an hour. I spent most of the day just staring at the clock waiting for it to be time to leave. I got ready hours early. My hair took an hour to straighten, and I spent at least an hour making sure my makeup was perfect. Finally it was time. I made sure to leave at exactly eight o'clock because, only losers show up early. I borrow my dad's car and drive myself to the party, excitement bubbling in my stomach the entire way. I pull in to his driveway and find it odd that there were only two or three other cars in the driveway. From what I heard his parties are usually huge. I shrug it off. Maybe not everyone's here yet, I think to myself. I fix my makeup in the mirror and check my breath for the millionth time then I walk to the front door. Before I could even question if I should knock or ring the doorbell, the door swings open. I peer inside and only see Randall and two other boys I recognize from the baseball team. Tyler, and Jason I think.  I smile, a bit uncomfortable as I walk in.