Hopeless

Chapter 69

Lori stands at the entrance of the yard, holding onto the gate as everyone gushes through. I stop beside her, Ella resting gently against my hip. "You okay?" I ask sweetly.

  "I haven't felt this good in weeks." She replies happily. 

"Good." I flash her a smile before taking Ella inside. 

"Oh! Oh we haven't had this much space since we left the farm." Carol cheers.

"Whoooo!" T dog yells with excitement. Laughter and pure joy spreading through the group as we take a good look at what we just accomplished. Lori, Ella, Sophia, and I wait close to the entrance while the others go from walker to walker making sure each and every one of them is dead. When they're finished Glenn throws himself on the ground stretching out on his back, sighing with relief. For the first time in months we're finally safe, we can finally breathe without the fear of danger lurking around every corner. Rick drags a few of the walkers toward the fence, leaving a wide open space clean for us to settle in. I place Ella in the grass, kneeling down beside her as I unpack a few of our things. I spread a blanket out in front of us, tossing Ella's toys into the middle. She giggles crawling towards them as i watch her in admiration. My sweet little Rose. She never ceases to amaze me. Daryl squats down beside me.

"Hey baby," He says with a smile. I look to him lovingly. "Rick and i are headin' out to hunt, gonna collect some fire wood on the way back. Wanna come?" I turn my gaze back to Ella, both her little hands wrapped around a toy as she shakes them around happily.

"I think im gonna sit this one out, if that's okay?" I reply as we watch our beautiful little girl play. He nods.

"Yeah of course." He places a gentle kiss on my lips. "We shouldnt be gone long, just gonna scope out the area." He says, using his hand to indicate the woods surrounding the prison.

"Be careful okay?" I whisper softly as i take his hand in mine.

"Always." He replies reassuringly. He lifts my hand to his mouth, leaving a sweet kiss on my knuckles. He stands, going over to Ella. She beams up at him. "You keep your momma out of trouble, you hear?" He teases. I smile at the two of them, never getting tired of watching their relationship unfold. He caresses her chubby little cheek, kissing the top of her head before standing to leave. I climb to my feet, stepping in front of him. I gaze deep into his eyes, memorizing every feature of his face. I know this isn't goodbye but these days you can never really be sure.

"I'll be back soon i promise." He says quietly,  rubbing his hand down my arm. I rest my hands against his chest, kissing him.

"I love you." I whisper as I pull away. He nuzzles his nose against mine before replying.

"I love you too." He turns and leaves without another word. I sigh, sitting down on the blanket beside Ella. The others sit next to us, making a big circle. Sophia and Carol sit to our right.

"May I?" Sophia asks sweetly, as she points to Ella.

"Of course." I reply with a smile. She sits happily, talking and playing with the baby.

"You know I'm not sure i ever really thanked you." Carol says as she watches Sophia, lost in thought.

"What for?" I ask curiously, not following.

"That day on the highway...When that herd came through...i didnt know if I'd ever see her again. My worst fears were coming true and you...you brought her back to me. She's here today because of you, and Ill always be greatful for that." She says, her eyes watery with gratitude. I place my hand on hers.

"That sweet little girl has been a blessing to us all. We should be thanking you." I reply with a smile. We both move our gazes back to Sophia, watching as she plays peek-a-boo with the baby. Ella's little giggles everytime Sophia reveals herself making us all laugh. I cant even begin to imagine having to make it through in this world without the two of them. They bring a light to this group that is truly irreplaceable. I know Ella has to be getting hungry and its only a matter of time before she gets fussy, so i dig through my bag for one of the few jars of baby food i have left. I'm not producing nearly enough milk to keep her fully fed, so when the formula ran out things got scary. She was weak and tired all the time, and god she was so skinny... she was starving to death. We all were. We scavenged a house a while back and were lucky enough to find this baby food. Between rationed amounts of this and whatever i can produce she's grown so much stronger. She seems to be at a much healthier weight and she's so much happier. It was unbelievably hard making the other kids watch as i fed her while they continued to starve, but I had no other choice. I couldn't lose her. I'll do everything and anything to protect her, even if it means making the hard decisions no one else wants to. I look around the yard at the others, everyone seems so relaxed, so happy. Glenn and Maggie sit side by side in the grass lost in conversation, while Beth lays with her head in Hershel's lap. T and Cass stand guard by the fence watching for Rick and Daryl to return. Lori sits across from me, talking to Carl as she rubs her huge belly. I let my mind wonder, thinking about the future we could all have here. A real future. I know it won't be easy. Life never was, even before the dead rose, but this place... It gives us the chance to do more than just fight to survive, it gives us a chance to grow, rebuild. We could really have something here. Ella begins to fuss, snapping my attention back to her.