Hopeless

Chapter 16

I sit quietly, lost in my own thoughts as the last of the walker bodies are burned. We are keeping the people we know separate from the monsters that started all of this. They deserve a proper burial. I jump to my feet as I see Daryl and T-dog dragging the body of someone from camp toward the walker pile.

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask them. They just stare at me. "We don't burn our people! We bury them! He was one of us. What's wrong with you?" T-dog looks at me sadly and changes directions, but Daryl stands his ground, stopping him.

"What's the difference? He's just as dead as the rest of 'em." He gestures toward the burning walkers.

"That could be any one of us! Me, you..." I sadly look down at Andrea beside Amy's pale limp body. "We bury our people." I say through clenched teeth. He scoffs, then drops the body, leaving T with all of the weight.

"I'm done with this crap!" He yells as he picks up the axe he was using to kill the walkers. He lifts it over his head and runs at Jim, who is dabbing his bite clean by a tree. I scream and jump in front of him, separating him from Jim. I hold my hands in front of me and beg him to put the axe down. He grunts angrily but doesn't move. In a matter of seconds Shane is behind Daryl wrestling him for the axe. Everyone freezes when Rick clicks the safety off, his gun pressed hard against the back of Daryl's head.

"Let it go." Rick says angrily. Daryl doesn't move. Rick shoves the gun harder into his head.

"Daryl please! Just put it down!" I yell to him. He slowly looks over at me. "Please..." I beg quietly, pretending to be on the verge of tears. He sighs and lets go of the axe. Works every time I think to myself. Shane throws it to the side and Rick shoves Daryl. He stumbles a little but stays on his feet.

"We don't kill the living!" Rick screams in his face.

"Funny coming from a man with a gun to my head." He scoffs.

"You put someone from this camp in danger. This is justified." Rick says calmly.

"Your gonna get us all killed!" Daryl screams back. "I say we just put a bullet through his head, the little blonde one too!" Andrea glares at him. I walk up to them.

"Rick put the gun down."

"Katie, stay out of this." Shane says from beside me. I ignore him.

"Put the gun down."

"I don't need your help!" Daryl spits at me. I laugh.

"Okay hot shot, how are you gonna get yourself outta this one?" Rick smirks and pulls his gun away. "Now go take a nap or something, you seem a little tense." I joke, trying to lighten the mood. Jacqui comforts Jim, who is still shaken up. Daryl rolls his eyes and storms off into the woods. Rick goes to check on Jim, as Shane grabs my arm and leads me away from everyone.

"What were thinking!? Jumping in front of a crazy axe wielding maniac like that? You could've been seriously hurt!"

"He's not crazy..he wouldn't have hurt me.." I say quietly.

"You don't know that Katie! It's bad enough that you keep putting yourself in danger, but now you can't just think about you. Think about the baby, our baby!"

"Stop yelling..." I whisper, a little hurt. His face softens.

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to yell...It's just...I worry. I worry about you and now our baby. I don't want to lose either of you..." he places his hands on my belly. "Just promise you'll be more careful.."

"I promise." I say quietly. He leans his forehead against mine.

"I love you Katie."

"I love you too." I hate it when he yells, but I know he means well. He pulls me into a hug and holds me tightly. I hear a low growl and turn to see Andrea holding back Amy's dead body as it yanks at her hair. It snaps it's teeth, struggling against Andrea's grip. Shane pulls out his gun. I grab his hand. "Wait." He looks at me like I'm crazy, but he waits. Then at the last second Andrea pulls out her gun and shoots Amy between the eyes. Her blood splattering all over her. I let go of Shane and rush to her side. She drops the gun and crumbles into my arms. I gently rock her back and forth as she cries hysterically against me. I stay there with her until the rest of the bodies are placed in the ground. Shane gives me a look and I know it's time. I gently push Andrea up off of me. "It's time..." I say gently.

"No...not yet, I'm not ready." I slowly help her to her feet.

"We'll do it together..." She glances down at Amy and nods. I wave Shane and Rick over. They wrap her in a white bed sheet, her wet blood is still wet and soaks right through. They gently place her in the bed of the truck and drive her up to where Jim dug her grave. I keep my arm tightly around Andrea's shoulders as we walk. When we reach the grave Shane goes to take her out of the truck, but Andrea stops him.

"I'll do it." Shane looks to me and I nod. She struggles with the body.

"'May I help?" I ask gently, walking to the other side of Amy. She gives me a small reluctant nod. We lift her together and gently place her in the ground. As we set her down her long blonde hair falls from the sheet and onto my arms. I swallow back tears, the blood dripping from her hair and onto my arms. I stay strong for Andrea through the ceremony, remembering everyone we lost. After the ceremony I get Andrea settled in the RV. I tuck a small blanket around her. She turns away from me, lost in her grief. "I'll be outside if you need me, ok?"

"Thank you." She whispers. I nod then leave the RV. I hurry to my tent. As soon as I get inside I collapse to my knees. I hold my head in my hands as I cry hysterically. I breath heavily, unable to catch my breath. It feels like the ground is spinning. My whole world is falling apart and here I am. Hopeless. I rip my blood covered clothes off and throw them angrily against the wall of the tent. I gasp for air, unable to find any. Shane crashes into the tent and drops to the ground beside me. he holds my face in his hands, looking straight into my eyes.

"Breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Breath." He breaths with me until I eventually catch my breath. I fall into him, too exhausted to hold myself up any longer. He kisses my head and rubs his hand along my bare back. "It's ok. I'm here. I'm here." He whispers. He brings his hand up to my face. He runs his hand over my head, pushing the hair out of my face. He looks at me, his face full of concern as he brings his hand back to my forehead. "Baby, you're burning up..."