Hopeless

Chapter 60

He watches me carefully as I pull my shirt back on, smirking as he buttons his pants. 

"What?" I ask him, with a laugh. 

"Nothin'." He shakes his head at the ground. I roll my eyes, nudging him playfully with my shoulder as we walk down the side of the store. 

"Come on tell me." I beg childishly, tugging at his arm. He stops dead in his tracks, turning to face me. He grabs my face, smiling as he does. 

"I just love you that's all." I smile, leaning my face against his hand. He kisses me, then pauses when he pulls away taking a moment to admire my face. 

"I love you too." I reply, never wanting him to forget how much he means to me. Daryl and I pull away when we hear a panicked whisper coming from in front of the store. 

"Guys!" Glenn's voice cries so quietly I almost didn't hear him. "Guysss!" He calls again, drawing ot the s in a terrified whine. 

"Something's wrong." I whisper to Daryl. He nods, taking my hand and we run around the corner to the front of the store. We freeze the second we turn the corner. My blood turns to ice, utter panic rippling through my chest as we face dozens, maybe even hundreds of the undead. Daryl squeezes my hand as I look to him, completely and utterly shocked. 

"Hurry!" Rick whispers desperately from beside Glenn. Both of them peeking out from behind the door, just as terrified as we are. There are walkers coming straight for us, straight for the store, straight for Ella. 

"We have to make a run for the door." Daryl whispers. 

"No." I say, dropping his hand, suddenly filled with a wave of bravery...or stupidity. Either way I know exactly what I have do. "You have to run. Protect Ella. Go!" I beg him.

"No, Katie what the hell?" His voice is rough, scratchy as he whispers frantically above the moans of the dead. 

"I don't have time to explain, just go!" I drop his hand and shove him toward the door. I glance back at him over my shoulder as I run in the opposite direction, away from my family. "I'll find you!" I cry. The betrayed look on his face breaks my heart. I want to run back to him, wrap him in my arms, hold him and Ella and never let go, but she needs me now more than ever. I have to save them. I stop just long enough to see Rick drag him inside. He kicks and groans and fights against him to get to me, but in the end Rick overpowers him. I swallow a sob, the dread in his voice tearing into me like knives. I take a deep breath and clear my head, pushing his cries from my thoughts. If i'm going to survive this I need to be smart. I turn to the horde of walkers banging at the store front. I need to act now, before it's too late. If they break through that door, there will be nothing i can do. Every cell in my body wants to run, hide, cower in the shadows, but I know I have to do something. My family, my baby girl's life depends on it. I grab a straggler that had wandered away from the rest of the crowd. I pull my knife from its sheath and tackle the monster to the ground, plunging the weapon into its skull. I remove it with a sickening gurgle and smear it's blood all over my face and chest. I gag as the smell burns my throat and lungs, but i know i'll be safer this way. I reluctantly cut into its abdomen digging my hands inside. I cover the rest of me in rotten, slightly coagulated blood praying this works. I stand slowly, if this doesn't work i'm dead. God this better work. 

"Hey assholes!" I scream, but none of them seem to take much notice to me. It's working. "Over here!" A few heads turn in my direction, but it's not enough to get their attention. I grab a broken road sign and go to the next building. I hold my breath, pulling it back as far as I can before swinging it like a baseball bat into the display window in front of me. It takes a few more hits, but eventually the glass shatters sending shards of glass flying all around me. I have their attention now. I back further away from the building, encouraging them to follow. "Come on! You want some of this? Come get it!" I scream. My voice comes out stronger, more confident than i feel. I feel small, weak, so beyond scared I don't even think there's a word for it, but somehow I keep going. "This way you stupid fucks!" My fear turns into anger. I keep screaming, sounding hysterical as I lead them further and further away. 

I don't know how long i've been walking, but the blood on my skin has dried, caking to my body and my legs ache. I want nothing more than to give up, throw myself on the ground and hope they keep walking. I'm exhausted, dehydrated, and I just want to see my baby. Even if i do make it out of here alive, how do I know they even waited? As far as they know they could be long gone by now. So I don't stop. I push myself to keep moving with the herd. I can't even tell if they're following me or if I'm just blending in with them at this point. Their moans have blurred into background noise, my steps falling in line with theirs. I'm no longer afraid. 

So I stop...