Hopeless

Chapter 52

"It's Randall...He's escaped...." He says carefully.

"What??" I ask my heart jumping into my throat forming a tight lump. I swallow hard. "How??" Shane butts in,holding a bloody rag on his face.

"Went in to let the guy take a piss, and he headbutted me in the face, took off into the woods. Kids stronger than he looks." He says, his voice warps by his plugged nose. The hostility from earlier completely gone. 

"We're going to go looking for him, we can't let him get away." Rick says trying to reassure me...it doesn't work. "We'll split up, Shane and I'll take the left half of the woods, T and Glenn you take the right." Rick commands.

"What about me?" Daryl asks sounding almost offended. 

"I need you and the others to stay here incase he comes back this way. Lock all the doors, have your weapons ready just incase." Everyone nods in silent agreement. The guys leave, Patricia looks the doors behind them. Closing all the blinds next. Hershel and Jimmy pass out the guns. I take my handgun, checking the magazine before carefully tucking it safely behind the belt of my pants, the familiar feeling of the cold gun pressing against my bare skin. Daryl hands Beth the baby, closing her, Carl, and Jimmy in the bedroom just to be safe. The rest of us stand in the living room watching the doorway, the fear and tension in the room so heavy it could be cut with a knife. Nervous sweat beads on my forehead, my heart pounding so hard against my chest I'm afraid the others might hear it. I want to be brave, I want to be strong, but with the balance of our future dangling in the wind I'm completely and utterly terrified. 

"They'll find him..." Patricia says trying to reassure herself as much as the rest of us. 

"What do we do if he tries to get in?" Maggie asks, naively. I close my eyes knowing the answer. 

"We kill him." Daryl says bluntly. Causing Maggie's breath to catch in her chest. 

"Daddy?" She asks, turning to Hershel to affirm our strategy.  He nods.

"There's no other way...we tried...we failed. We've got nothing left." He says sadly, not wanting to be responsible for taking the young man's life. I pace around the room impatiently/ I can't believe this is what our world has come to, kill or be killed. I understand we don't have a choice, and if he comes anywhere near Ella or any of the other I'll have to do what needs to be done, I just wish things didn't have to be this way. 

"Katie please...stop pacing, your freaking me out." Maggie says quietly. I stop, sitting on the couch.

"Sorry.." I mumble.

"Carl's gone!" Lori screams from the bedroom doorway.

"What?!" I cry.

"He must've snuck out the window, we have to go find him!" She cries hysterically as she heads to the door. Hershel blocks her way.

"I can't let you do that Lori. It's not safe."

"That's my baby boy out there! You can't seriously ask me to sit here and wait while he's out there with a psychopath on the loose!" She yells. 

"And what about the one right there." He says pointing to her stomach. "You go out there you're not only putting yourself at risk your risking your child's life." She sobs.

"Then what am I supposed to leave him out there all alone?"

"We just have to pray he found his way to Rick. There's nothing else we can do until they find Randal. It seems like an eternity before we hear a noise outside, a gunshot ripping through the air making all of us jump to our feet. 

"What the hell?" Daryl says out loud. 

"You think they found him?" Lori asks. I walk to the window, slowly peeking out into the yard. It's getting dark...I can hardly see anything. I close the curtain. 

"I didn't see anything..." I tell the rest of the group. 

"Maybe it was just a walker?" Maggie asks.

"No...they're not stupid enough to fire a gun for one walker...somethings up." Daryl says, just as another gunshot goes off sending a new wave of fear through me.  

"Maggie get your sister, all of you go get your things!" Hershel yells from the window, where he's watching outside.

"Why? Daddy what is it??" She asks panicking. 

"Walkers! Go!" He calls to us all. Daryl talks my hand and we run to our room. I pull of my jacket, and gather our things. Taking the baby from Beth so that her and Jimmy can do the same. Daryl helps me get the baby carrier on then he puts on Ella's coat and boots, before gently sliding her into the carrier. He kisses her head then kisses me. 

"I'm going out, we have to try to fight. Stay on the porch and fight with the others, protect her...find your way to the cars if we start getting overrun...got it?"

"What if you aren't back?" I ask him tearfully.

"You'll have to leave me."

"No!" I cry. He takes my face in his hands.

"Baby listen to me...I hope it won't come down to that, but if it does you have to put Ella first..you have to promise me. Promise me you'll get her somewhere safe if this goes south."

"No, please don't make me." I cry. A tear slides down his face as he kisses me passionately. 

"Promise me." He begs, his forehead rested against mine. I nod.

"I promise." He kisses me once more, for what could be the last time.

"I love you Katherine Grimes." He cries.

"I love you too Daryl Dixon." I say through my tears. He drops his hands from my face, before turning and running out the front door. I rip a cotton ball in half placing the pieces gently against Ella's ears pulling her tiny hat down over them to get it in place, in hopes of dulling the effects of the gun shots on her sensitive little ears. Once I'm sure she's safe and secure I pull my gun from my pants, clicking off the safety. I join the others on the front porch, taken aback when I see the hundreds of walks making their way closer and closer to the house. Gunshots are firing everywhere, the entire farm is in chaos. The barn is enveloped in roaring flames.

"Jimmy took the RV to see if was Rick or the others." Lori yells to me over the guns, and the deafening moans of the dead. 

"They're everywhere!" I cry. We're surrounded, every way I turn there are dozens more. Our guns can't keep up. We're running out of ammo, we're desperate, and terrified. There's no other choice. "We have to go! Get to the cars!" Everyone runs off the porch running the cars placed in various places around the house, but before I go I see Hershel standing firm just off the porch steps. "Hershel! We have to go! There's no saving it!"

"This is my home he cries! My wife is here, I'm not goin' anywhere"

"Daddy please!" Beth begs.

"Patrica take her away, get somewhere safe."

"Daddy no!" Maggie screams. "You can't do this!"

"I have nothing left!" He cries. "This farm was all i had left and now it's gone too. It goes down I go down too!" He yells, shooting off rounds like a maniac, not even hitting any of the walkers that are less that ten feet from us now. I lift my gun shooting the ones closest to us.

"Hershel come on! You have us! You have your girls! You have to get fighting!" I beg him. I screams hysterically shooting off the rest of his rounds. He throws his useless gun into the horde of walkers, before turning and running to us. I get seperated from the others, shooting as I run. Ella's cries like a siren calling all of the walkers toward me. I see patrica get pulled away from Beth. I can't find the others. The RV speds away down the driveway. I'm on my last few rounds. Squinting through my tears. This is it I think to myself. I'm going to die. My baby is going to die. I scream out in frustration hitting a walker in the face with the butt of my empty gun, giving it my all even though I know it's hopeless. I wrap my arms around Ella about to give up when the walkers closest to me drop to the ground, bullets flying all around me. 

"Katie! Hurry get on!" I sigh with relief, as I jumps onto the back of Daryl's motorcycle, clinging to him, with the baby tucked safely between us. He speeds off toward the road, just as we become in reach of the walkers. I watch the burning barn as we ride into the distance, our home, our future infested with the walking dead. I have no idea if the rest of my family made it out alive, but I thank god my baby girl is safe. We're safe...for now.