Mellifluous Murmurs

When I Opened My Eyes

I loved myself until I saw the hurting that you caused

I loved myself until I redeemed my points of no meaning

I loved my character because it was once apart of yours

I loved my creativity because I once saw the good in you.

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I would cry every night because I kept replaying the memory of you leaving my bedroom door

I would scream because what I saw in you contradicted the paradox

I would lie down in my bed and stare at the ceiling till my alarm would ring at the early A.M.

I would keep my body warm because I pretended it was your arms securing my fragile self.

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I gave my might to the weak and received nonetheless of notability 

I lured myself to the dark and inhibited myself for the worthy

I crept to the solitary to find myself and that's where I found my love.

I regained my self, worthy and cherishing

But I still cry to this very day

Because I remember 

and I shan't ever forget

It is too much of a heartbreak, too much pain

I can't move on from here. 

I listen to songs that remind me of the past 

But I also listen to songs that would sometimes cover up the wound 

It goes back to step one and the pain pierces just as sharp and just as cruel

God is with me, but he put me to the test

I will cry and I will scream; but sometimes, I pray that I shall heal 

////

I am in a state of processing; a postulate to heal 

I would still cry but maybe my heart would also weep

I will learn to love myself again after all the misery and disdain 

I would fall in love with people that have souls I wish I had

A man, a woman; souls are souls. 

No matter the age, race, nationality.. my heart is worthy for all. 

I may slurr to the left and trip at the right 

but I as a person will crave and just stretch onto the mark and I will strive

I will strive. 

I will learn to love myself all over again. 

Because I finally

Opened my eyes.