Don't Look Back

Decisions

Sky's POV

I was waiting at the bus stop when a shiver went up my spine. It was freezing out, so I turned around and looked up, the Eiffel Tower was breathtaking with it all lot up. I let out a sigh and the turned back around and looked for the bus. Suddenly someone grabbed me and spun me around. It was Ross, he had tears falling from his eyes. He didn't let go of my arms, he said, "I am in love with you Sky." He kissed me, then when he pulled back he ran off. I felt a tear fall, but it was mine. I wanted to run after him, but I couldn't move. I just stood there, I watched him run down the sidewalk and then he turned around the corner and he was gone. The bus pulled up, I got on and handed the bus driver my money. Then I took a seat, there were only two other people on the bus, an elderly black woman, and a girl about my age with headphones on. I leaned my head on the window. The woman said, "Whats the matter sweetheart?" I looked at her, she was in the row of seats across from mine. I said, "My best friend just told me he loves me." She said, "Then why do you look so troubled?" I said, "Im confused." She said, "What happened when he told you?" I said, "He kissed me and then ran away, and he was crying." She said, "Do you like him?" I said, "I think so." The girl with the headphones pulled one out of her ear, "Then why are you confused? Sorry for eavesdropping." I said, "Because I've known him since I was little, and he's been like a brother to me. Would that be weird to just start dating?" The girl said, "Well if you don't, it'll be awkward." I said, "What happens when we break up? I'd lose the friendship we had." She said, "Not when, but if you break up, play the friend card. Totally act like its okay to break up, like you completely understand, don't be sad or get upset." I said, "And what if I break up with him?" She said, "Don't ever say, 'I hope we can still be friends.' Just say, 'Are we cool?' So that way, you can still be friends. Trust me, I use it all the time." I nodded, "Okay, but his older brother still likes me, what do I do about that? He will get mad at me if I don't pick him." The older woman said, "Oh good Lord! You must be quite the catch." The girl said, "Yeesh, I don't know what to do about that. Just tell them both you don't want a relationship right now. Like, say you're going through some stuff right now." I said, "Yeah, like I could bring up the fact that Im dying." The woman said, "That should work." She looked really shocked. The girl said, "What do you mean you're dying? Are you sick?" I said, "Well, my dad killed my brother and told me I was next but he went to prison. But he said that when he gets out he is going to kill me. And I have cancer." The woman said, "Well, I don't know what I tell you to do about your dad, but that is awful, but can you not afford chemotherapy?" I said, "It's complicated." My stop came up, I said, "Well, thanks for listening and the advice." I stood up, thanked the driver, and got off. I started walking down the street and saw Ross on my front porch. I stepped back so I was hidden by the bushes of another apartment building. This was where Ellington was staying with Kelly. I couldn't talk to Ross if I didn't know what to say. I went up the steps and went to Kelly and Ellington's apartment. I knocked on the door. Ellington opened up and said, "Hey Kell, Sky's here." Kelly said, "Then invite her in you doof." She giggled from another room. He said, "Come on in." I walked in. Kelly walked out of their little kitchen. She dried her hands by wiping them on her jeans. She said, "Whats up?" I said, "Im really sorry to bother you, but you guys were the closest." Before I could say anything Ellington said, "Do you want to sleep here?" I said, "How did you know?" He said, "We saw Ross by your place." I said, "Yeah, I kind of don't want to talk to him because I don't know what to say yet." Kelly said, "We understand, we were planning on just hanging out tonight. We'd love to have you." I said, "Thank you." Everyone took turns taking showers and then Kelly let me borrow some clothes to sleep in. Then we watched a movie in the living room. There was a knock at the door, Ell whispered, "Sky, go in the back room with Kelly and turn off the lights." I said okay and we went into the bedroom and shut off the lights. Then we both pressed our ears to the door. We heard Ell open the door and say, "Hey Ross, what's up?" He said, "Sky didn't get back. I'm afraid something happened to her." Ell said, "Don't worry, I know she's fine, I just got off the phone with her." He said, "Did she say where she was? I'm afraid I scared her off." Ell said, "No, she didn't. But just go home, she's fine. When we get breakfast tomorrow, I promise she will be there." Ross said, "Okay." And the door closed. Ell said, "Okay, he's gone." We came out of the bedroom and I said, "Thank you." He said, "So what did happen?" I said, "I was waiting at the bus stop and then he ran up to me, he had been crying. Then he said, 'I am in love with you Sky.' Then he kissed me and ran." He said, "Oh, ice cream?" I laughed and Kelly said, "Lets go!" We raced to the kitchen and pulled out a big tub of ice cream and three spoons. Then we finished our movie while eating our ice cream. Afterwards everyone went to bed and they let me sleep on their couch. The next morning I woke up and changed back into my clothes. I left a note that said thank you and I snuck out the window and went down the fire escape. I didn't want to leave their door unlocked. I was almost down the fire escape when I heard some one say, "Sky?" I looked over the railing down below, it was Riker. I said, "Um, hey, what's up?" He said, "Apparently you are. What are you doing up there?" I lied, "Yesterday afternoon I accidentally left a rag on the stove and it caught on fire, the whole place smelled like smoke so I slept at Ells and Kelly's place." He said, "Oh okay. Well come down and we can walk to breakfast together." I nodded and walked down the steps to the second floor and then went down the ladder, but the ladder didn't go all the way to the floor. "Jump, I'll catch you." He was right under me. I said, "No way, I'll crush you." He laughed, "No you won't, come on, don't you trust me?" I said, "Yeah, but I'm still pretty high up." He said, "I promise I won't let you fall." I said, "Okay." He said, "Jump on three. One, two, three." And I let go. Then I felt Rikers arms holding me. I opened my eyes, he smiled at me, "See, I got you." I nodded and he put me down. Then he took my hand in his and we walked together. I said, "I know you said we were gonna walk to breakfast but we still have like an hour before we gotta be there, do you mind if we stop by my place? I need to change. These are my clothes from yesterday." He said, "Sure. No problem." We started walking, when my building was visible I saw Ross still on the steps out front. I stopped Riker. He said, "What?" Not seeing Ross yet. I said, "How about we go up the fire escape? This one reaches the floor." He said, "Why not use the front door?" I said, "Because the fire escape is funner to use, lets go." He laughed, "Okay." And we went up. I have always unlocked kept my windows unlocked because it was like an emergency escape for me. Riker climbed in after me. He said, "Well, that was fun." Then he walked around, "At least the smoke smell went away. Actually, its completely gone." I said, "Im gonna go change, feel free to roam." He nodded and walked around. I went into my bedroom and changed into a blue dress and a leather jacket. Then I walked out, Riker looked up, he said, "Wow, you look beautiful." I laughed, "Should I change? I just realized we're twinning." He looked at what he was wearing, a blue shirt and a leather jacket. He laughed, "No, it's cute." He said, "Can we take the stairs? I don't think you want people looking up you're skirt while they walk underneath." I said, "Okay." I slipped on some shoes and we walked down. When we walked out the front and Ross was sitting there. Riker said, "Ross?" Ross looked at him. "Riker?" Riker said, "What are you doing here?" Ross said, "We are about to go to breakfast, what are you doing here?" Ross said, "I was here all night waiting for Sky to get back." I said, "Did you try going to my apartment and knocking?" Ross said, "Yeah, you weren't there." I said, "When did you come?" He said, "After I ran off, I went home for about thirty minutes and then came here." I said, "I slept at Kelly's place. A rag caught on fire at my place and it smelled like smoke." Ross said, "And when did Riker get here?" I said, "I left Kelly and Ells place and he was walking so I joined him and he came with me here. Any more questions?" He said, "No more questions, I just wanted to say that I was sorry." I said, "For what?" He said, "For last night." I smiled and said, "Don't be." I realized that i just told him I was okay with the kiss. Riker said, "What happened last night?" I said, "We are going to be late for breakfast if we don't leave now." We started walking and Ross took my hand. I looked at him and smiled. Then Riker took my other hand. I smiled at him. Oh gosh, what do I do. I said, "Wait." And let go of their hands and I stood on one foot and took off one shoe and pretended to dump something out, like I had a rock or something in my shoe. Then we kept walking but I pretended like I was cold so I stuck my hands in my pocket. We walked all the way to the little bakery we met at every morning, everyone else was waiting for us. Then we got some pastries and coffee. We all sat at the table together. I had my hands under the table and I was sitting in between Ross and Riker. I felt them take my hands in theirs. Terrific, they both thought I was starting a relationship with them, and I couldn't eat my croissant. I couldn't do this. I didn't let go of their hands, I stood up. I said, "Look." Ross and Riker saw that they were both holding hands with me. "What's going on?" Ross said. Riker tried to pull his hand away, but I held into then tight. I said, "This, this can't happen." I let go of both of their hands. Riker said, "You led me on." I said, "I didn't mean to, with either of you." Ross said, "Why didn't you just say no?" I said, "I think it's time I told you all." Everyone else at the table was dead silent. Rocky said, "What is it?" I said, "Im sick. And I don't want to lie to you all, I'm not okay. I'm going to die soon and the sooner you all know, the easier it will be to get over it." Everyone looked really sad all of a sudden. Rydel started crying. Ross stood up and walked out of the restaurant and ran off to the left. Riker got up and ran out to the right. Ratliff said, "Why didn't you tell us?" I said, "Because I didn't know what would kill me first, my dad, or my cancer." I said, "Im sorry." And I ran out, I didn't know which way to run so I went straight, which just so happened to be a cemetery. I didn't care, I'd be in one of these. I saw Riker walk in from a different entrance, he sat down on one of the benches. Then I looked at the other side of the cemetery because I saw something move, it was Ross, he sat down too. I sat down where I was on a nearby bench. They both looked like they were deep in thought. I just kept looking back and fourth at the two of them. Ross looked angry and Riker looked sad. Then Ross looked up, he saw Riker. He called out to him and Riker looked up. He saw him, they both got up and they both sat at a bench in the middle. I walked over, their backs were to me so they didn't see me. I heard their conversation. Ross said, "I can't believe she didn't tell me." Riker said, " I know. Wait, what are you talking about?" Ross said, "That you guys were getting close too." Riker said, "Is that seriously all you're thinking about?  She is sick and all you're worried about it a relationship! What is wrong with you?" Ross said, "Dude, she lied to us, how are you not mad?" He said, "She was thinking about our feelings, she didn't want to hurt either of us. Yeah, it upset me that she didn't just say no, but she's dying." I spoke up, "Im sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how." Riker said, "How long have you been there?" I was crying now, i couldn't help it, I said, "Im sorry, but, don't worry, I won't be a problem for long." I turned around and ran out the cemetery.

Riker's POV

I ran after her, Ross just sat there. He was thinking, but I ran. She wasn't getting far with those shoes. She stopped by the Eiffel Tower and ran behind a wall, she must have thought I wasn't behind her. I ran around the wall. She took off her jacket.  I said, "Im not mad at you." She looked up. She had tears falling from her eyes. She said, "You're not?" I wiped her tear away, "No, I'm upset that you didn't tell us you were sick. But I'm not mad." She said, "I didn't want a relationship because I didn't want to get so extremely close, I didn't want anyone to be sad when I die." I said, "Thats insane Sky. We would all be heart broken." She said, "It's cancer." I said, "You can get chemotherapy, then you won't die. No more cancer." She said, " Riker please, just let it happen." I said, "No way. Sky, I love you, and I don't care what happens, but I will do everything I can to make sure you stay alive." She said, "You what?" I said, "I love you." She started crying more, I hugged her. I said, "Im sorry but I do. I always have." She was shaking. I said, "Sky, look at me." She looked up, I said, "I love you and i will not let you die." She said, "I love you too." And she hugged me. I said, "I don't want you to go." She said, "Bad things keep happening to me. And you all get sucked into it. I don't want any of this anymore if you end up getting hurt." I took her hands in mine, "We don't have to start a relationship. But I just want you to know, that I know one hundred percent that Ross and I would do anything for you. We would take a thousand bullets." She said, "Why'd you bring up Ross?" I said, "Because I'm trying to show you that there are more than me  who care about you. We all do." She said, "Thank you Riker." I grabbed her wrists and flipped the over, "And this, this is over."  She looked at the scars, "How did you know?" I said, "Dylan told me you were having bad thoughts. Those need to stop. You die when you die, you don't do it yourself." She looked up at me, "It was so stupid! I'm so sorry!" And she hugged me. I rubbed her back and said, "Death isn't just something you can get over with. It happens when it is supposed to. He told me when." Have pulled back and grabbed my arms, "You have to tell me!" I shook my head, "I can't do that Sky." She said, "Please!" I shook my head and said, "No, but when we get back we will fix your cancer and the date will disappear." She said, "If I fix it, what am I supposed to do? I didn't plan on anything." I said, "What?" She said, "I donated most of the money Charlie gave me to the orphanage. I work six jobs and that only takes care of me and Dylan's house. I have good grades, but I can't afford college. See? I have nothing if I fix myself." I said, “You can have anything you want. You just have to let us help you.”