Dolls in Dollhouses (A Jonnor Fanfiction)

Part 1

A/N: If you like this one then be sure to read the sequel, "Summer Nights"!!

(Jude's POV)
•You never forget the people you had feelings for, even when you can't decide rather that 'had' is really a 'have'•

"I guess talk to you later then."
"I guess so, bye."
So I go downstairs and try to enjoy spending time with family, only to fail and stand in the back of the kitchen to watch Marianna & Jesus blow out candles. Callie glances over giving me a worried look since I'm not talking. I give her a small smile and she walks over and hugs me.
"Are you okay?" She whispers.
She must think this must be getting to me.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"100%"
"Okay," she kisses my head.
***
Today is another day of school and I debate on rather if I should make up being sick. It feels like I am, but not physically showing. So I get up and get ready and go down stairs. I forcefully shove food down by little, tiny bites regretting every bit I swallowed. I find myself extremely quiet, and staring off into space when Stef asks if I'm alright.
"I'm-fi-alright."
"Okay bud, if you say so."
I swirl my spoon in the cereal then get up with everyone else, throw my cereal away, and head to school.
Coming home was probably the harder part.
'Hey'
Connor.
'I can't talk. Hw'
'Ok...ttyl then'
I stare at the text then reply.
'Ttyl'
I really regret everything right now, especially the whole alive part. I brush the thought away and lay down hoping to fall asleep which I managed.
I wake up to Jesus turning on the light.
"Get up dinner is ready."
"I'm not hungry."
He looks at me for awhile looking for a sign that I'm kidding, then walks out calling for moms. 15 minutes later Lena walks in with a plate of food.
"Are you sure you're not hungry? I made your favorite."
I sit up, "yeah I'm sure, I had a big lunch."
She looks at me concerned and I realize I screwed up.
"Jude, honey you didn't take a lunch to school, and you didn't ask for money."
"Uh-I know I meant I shared a lunch with Taylor."
"So you must be-"
"No really I'm not," i cut her off.
My stomach growls. She sets the plate down.
"Okay, tell me whats wrong, did something happen at school?"
Even if something did happen I wouldn't remember.
"No."
She wraps her arm around me, "you know you can tell me anything."
"I know." And for some reason my eyes are starting to burn, and I get a deep bad feeling in my stomach.
I hate when these feelings randomly pop up, like wanting to add to everything else that's going bad in my life. I push them away and make an excuse.
"i'm just super stressed out about finals, it feels like I forgot about everything."
No one knows that me and Connor broke up.
"oh well you know you can come to me or Stephen for help, or easing Callie, Mariana, Jesus or Brandon."
"I know," I look down.
"Why didn't you?"
"Didn't want to bother you." At least that's not a lie.
"You're not bothering us."
I nod.
"Eat something okay?"
I give her a convincing smile. She left the room and I sat there for a few minutes. I slowly get up and pick up the plate full of food.
I throw the food away in the bathroom, putting rolled up pieces of toilet paper on top, hoping no one will notice. I'm not starving myself, I remind myself when I feel the guilt rush over me, I'm just not hungry.

Author's note: this is just a random fanfic i started writing also this is my cousin's account i made too many and forgot all the passwords 😅 anyways hope you enjoy.