Dolls in Dollhouses (A Jonnor Fanfiction)

Part 21

Everything is dark, besides the light of the moon light that streams in through his window. Everything is quiet besides the heavy breathing on my neck. Everything is calm except for my heart which is thumping hard inside my chest. My breathing is also heavy, matching his. The bed is big but not too big, just the right size for the 2 of us. My heartbeat calms down from the terrifying excitement it just experienced.
We lay there silent, like that's the only thing we been doing. Which isn't the truth, but I let it pass as it. I know I won't admit I did this to anyone else. It felt nice and relieving but so terrifying I have a doubt in the pit of my stomach that I'll ever do if again.
Finally he speaks, "are you awake?"
"Hm?" I act like I didn't hear him so I can hear his voice one more time. Even if technically I already gave him the answer he wanted.
"I said are you awake, but never mind."
I turn away from the wall and meet his eyes, I give him a grin, "how can I not be."
He chuckles. Not saying anything he stretches out his arm around me, pulling me close where my head was now on his chest.
A thought structs me mind, "you can't... you know?"
"Get pregnant?!" He lets out a too loud laugh, "no. We stopped my female hormones before I could even get a period."
"Just no dick," I laugh at this then think that's a mistake, because that's not something to joke about but then he laughs too, I guess he knew I meant no harm by it.
"So you say yes to," he motions his arms in circles indicating the bed we are laying on, "but you won't say yes to bring my boyfriend?"
My face heats up in embarrassment, awkwardness, and regret.
"I'm not comfortable with that term."
It's all that I can think of, because why can't I be his boyfriend, there's no reason I can't be. I mean there's Connor, but clearly he has to of have moved on.
"You said you still liked him," he reminds me, "was this a mistake?"
"No." I don't say what I'm saying no to, I don't even know what I'm saying no to.
He just nods, I don't think he knows what I'm saying no to either but makes his own pick.
I close my eyes I listen to his slowing down breathing and the lift of his chest as its in unison.
***
I wake up to the smell of early morning food, dishes clanging against each other, and heavy footsteps below in the kitchen. I'm laying alone in his bed, covered, and a pillow in replacement of his chest.
I sit up, swinging my legs over I feel more refreshed then I ever have before and I know we were awake until at least 1 last night. I'm still in my boxers. I spot my phone on a unfamiliar charger, grabbing it, unplug, turn on. 10 voice mails. 15 missed calls. And at least 20 texts. Mostly from Callie and moms. One missed call and voice mail from Connor.
Oops, I completely forgot to tell moms I was staying the night at Siris'. I should be more concerned about getting in trouble but there's no sign of worry in me. I delete the voice mails besides the one from Connor, which I'll listen to later.
I text Callie first.
'Sorry I forgot to call moms, I fell asleep on accident.'
'I fell asleep on accident, sorry I'll be home asap.' I text moms.
Callie calls not even a minute later.
"Are you okay?"
No hi? Rude.
"I'm fine, what's your problem?"
"What's my problem! Are you really asking me this, rather you're 15 or older you're still my younger brother. I get worried and I can't help it!"
Damn I shouldn't have snapped, I hold my phone with my shoulder as I slip my pants on, then a shirt. In this time Callie finally realizes I'm not going to say anything back.
"You worried moms half to death."
I want to say sorry but I can't. I'm not sorry that I stayed here.
"Are you going to say anything?" She gets frustrated, but patiently waits, for about another minute.
I listen to her angry breathing.
"Look I'm at work right now, I'll call you back later."
"Bye." I finally say.
"Love you."
She hangs up before I can say it back.
Down stairs there's a slight burning smell of toast but the smell of pancakes and eggs overwhelm it too much.
"Hey sleepy head," he gives me a wide heart warming smile.
"Hey," my bright mood returns, "smells good."
"Hope it tastes good, never cooked for someone else in my life. Besides when I was little I used to make cereal for my mom on Mother's Day and random days when I felt like it. My mom is at work then has a meeting tonight, so you can stay as long as you like."
The smile fades, "sorry after breakfast I need to go check in with my moms if I'm lucky they'll let me come back. I forgot to call them last night."
"Oh that's half my fault," he blushes, making me do the same.
He makes our plates the, sitting down across from me. Eating silently but peacefully, it's a nice feeling.
"So where's your sisters?"
"My older sister is practicing with her Dance team. She's in the same one as Mariana."
"Cool," I comment even though I could care less.
"My mom dropped my little sister off at day care."
"How old is she?"
"4, her name is Violet. My older sister's name is Kinsey, she's 18 like your sister Callie."
I smile like I'm interested and get up to wash my plate, Siris gets up at the same time.
"No need it's my turn to do the dishes anyways."
Taking my plate he scrapes the left over food in the trash and puts them in the dish washer.
"Want a ride home?" He turns back to me.
"Yeah, thanks."
***
Pulling into my drive way the real situation sinks in.
I wave as he pulls out. Then I pull out my phone, just in case I get grounded I need to know what Connor said.
I come across our last text messages, my heart drops. '....talk to you tomorrow'
It's silent for the first few seconds in the voice mail then a sigh, "I don't know what to think anymore Jude. It feels like and really seems like you don't love me anymore...just text or call me please."