Dolls in Dollhouses (A Jonnor Fanfiction)

Part 5

I wake up early the next morning a 1/2 hour before Callie. Mariana is up and dressed doing her hair and I assume Brandon & Jesus are already downstairs. So I get ready, and go back into Callie's room still seeing her asleep, we don't leave for another 1/2 hour and I know she won't get out of bed for another at least 10 minutes. So I lay down next to her. She barely opens her eyes, "Hey bud."
I don't try to say anything back; I know I won't be able to stop it if I start.
She puts a hand through my hair, "what time is it?"
"6:30"
She hears my voice, and knows.
"Come here," she brings me closer to her and for the first time I let a few tears slip.
"It'll be okay," she reassures me.
I nod, cause I can't talk.
A few minutes pass by, Callie stops rubbing my back and slowly gets up saying she has to get ready.
We head down stairs after she's done.
"Hey kiddos, ready?" Lena asks.
"Yeah for the most part," Callie turns back to me, "Do you have your school stuff?"
I nod, picking up my bag off the chair. We sit down and eat a quick bowl of cereal.
"Let's go! Everyone in the car," Lena yelled a couple minutes later.
She turns to Stef and kisses her.
***
At school I'm extremely quiet not being able to bring myself to putting in much effort in any of my classes which I will regret later, but I don't care now and if I don't care now it doesn't matter.
"Jude are you alright?" A teacher asks before I walk into class.
I smile immediately, "Y-yeah just really tired." I force a small, quiet yawn to prove it.
She smiles, "okay just checking up on you, you seem down."
"I'm fine," the smile is still plastered on my face . It starts to hurt, not physically but I convince myself it is.
Later in the hall I run into Callie, I know it's on purpose since our classes are on opposite sides of the school, and coming over here will guarantee a tardy. I don't question her, because I know why she's here. She's worried, it's written all over her face. I don't know why she is worried exactly, cause I'll be perfectly fine in a non-perfect way. She asks how my day is and I catch myself before saying 'it's fine' or 'it's going fine'; even I know saying 'fine' to a person that used that answer for everything isn't going to take it. I can't lie to a liar. So instead I say with as much enthusiasm as possible in this state of mind, "it's been great but I have to hurry to class cause I have this test I need to study for. I'll see you later."
It's the most I said all day and using the same smile as I did with the teacher wasn't the best idea. I start to worry I smiled too big, and it was too fake. Even a blind person could probably tell it was fake. I start to panic, telling myself she won't notice. Then I start panicking about panicking over little things. Then I start panicking that I'm panicking too much until it's like the huge library that my study hall is in, is now too small and it's getting smaller. It's beginning to be too suffocating I don't think I'll be able to breathe soon.
I ask for a bathroom pass. Now I'm standing in between the womens' and mens' restroom entrance. I turn around to find a bathroom more comfortable for my use. I still can't bring myself to answer why I used the gender-neutral restroom. I'm panicking too much to panic over one more thing, so I step inside the empty, one use, all gender bathroom. I lock the door and slide to the ground, I don't cry. I sit here for what seemed like hours just taking deep breaths with my eyes closed.
Someone knocks on the door. I pop up and listen to make sure my mind isn't playing tricks on me, but then I hear a voice after another knock.
"Anyone in there?"

Author's note: would u guys hate me if it was Connor? 😬😏