Dolls in Dollhouses (A Jonnor Fanfiction)

Part 23

"We said no, Jesus."
"Why not? Lexi stayed the night here plenty of times," Jesus frustratingly says, taking his seat at the dinner table.
"That's because Lexi was Mariana's friend," Stef says, setting the mashed potatoes on the far side of my right.
"Hayley's Mariana's friend."
Mariana gives Jesus a glare, he shoots her a pleading look, she rolls her eyes not giving him any regard.
"Is that right?" Lena lifts her eyebrows, looking at Mariana.
"No," she says simply, "she hates me."
"No she doesn't," Jesus defends.
"Usually if you don't hate someone you wouldn't kick them off your team," Brandon laughs, recalling Mariana's experience.
"Sorry I'm late," Callie rushes in the room.
"That's alright Hun, we haven't started eating."
"No need to wait for me," she makes eye contact with me, then sits down.
Dinner continues without any more disruptive non-peaceful disruptions.
"Any other exciting news?" Mama asks all of us.
"I got an A+ on my math test," I choose to speak up.
That gives everyone a hint that I am in fact getting better, I realize it too.
This makes moms smile, Callie and Brandon too, Jesus and Mariana don't get it but they smile too but not in that kind of way.
"That's great bud," Callie comments, ruffling my hair.
"Your tutor must be great."
"I got an A+ too," Mariana pipes up.
Jesus annoyingly rolls his eyes, "Of course you did."
"What's new?" Brandon adds.
"What?" Mariana acts like she has no idea what anyone is talking about.
We all laugh.
"So who is your tutor?" Mariana changes the subject.
"Siris."
"That sophomore?"
"Yep."
"How old is he?" Callie asks.
"16, turning 17 soon, I think."
***
"Hey," Siris swings his arms around my waist, this makes me slightly uncomfortable but I don't say anything.
I turn around, still in his arms I gently push them down to his sides and so he won't think I'm pushing him away, I smile.
"Hi," I shut my locker behind me.
"Want me to walk you to class?"
Oh my god please leave me alone, I want to say. I don't want to like 2 boys. You can't like 2 people at the same time, can you?
I don't say anything as I walk away, he catches up with me. A smile still planted on his face.
"Cat got your tongue?" He jokes.
I roll my eyes, "no."
"Is something wrong," he brushes my shoulder as he turns around to face me.
We stop walking in front of my 1st hour classroom.
"No," I say smiling, "why do u say that?"
He shrugs, "Have a good day." He smiles and turns to walk down the hall.
"You too," I whisper back when he's already turned the corner.
I walk into the classroom and take my seat. Snickering from the back makes me turn around. All heads turn away as I look back, this makes me anxious. Way more anxious than a normal person should be.
***
When I get home, I don't take anything off. I drop my book bag at the door and quietly walk up stairs.
Brandon with Mike, Moms & Callie at work, Mariana at dance, and Jesus at wrestling, the house is completely silent.
I lay on my bed and scroll through social media. All of a sudden my phone lights up with the phone call screen.
"Hello?" It's not like I don't know who it is, i guess I'm just surprised that he would call in general.
There's silence and the heavy breathing that I'm so used to I don't even think about hanging up.
I listen to his breathing, which calms me from the events of today.
It feels like a hour has gone by, though it's only been 5 minutes when his breathing catches up, almost like he's hyperventilating.
"Hey," I say in a soothing comforting voice, trying to get him to talk.
There's muffled words on the other line, as he tries to calm his breathing.
I listen and wait for him to get the right words out. This is the boy that I told everything to; this is the boy that told me everything, now he's struggling to get a few words out to me. This is the boy that asked me to be his partner in science class when we were 12 and I didn't know anyone. This is the boy I cried for when he got shot, cried for when he had to move away, cried for when I broke up with him. Now he's crying for missing me, for the hurt I caused him, for me, just for me.
"I used to miss you so much but I never felt like you really missed me back and so I guess I just-"
"Stopped loving me?" He chokes out.
"N-"
"I really thought I was getting you back," he taking a deep breath, trying to calm his shaky voice.
"Connor," my voice leaks of pity.
"Of all the times I felt so worthless because of you they should of added up by now to make me worth something." He snaps angrily and hangs up.
I must of called back at least 20 times, enough to know he was purposely hanging up on me. I was sobbing by now. Trying so hard to get him to answer me. I go to the bathroom and lock the door, sliding down the wall.
I call the only person I could bare to talk to right now.
"Hey."
"I lost him," I sobbed into the phone, the ugly kind with the hiccuping sound in between gasps, "I love him and I couldn't say it."