It only rings 3 times before someone answers.
"Hel-"
"What were you going to say in the voicemail?" I cut him off.
"Um-"
"Look I know your mad and-"
"Jude let me talk," he says matter-of-factly.
He doesn't sound frustrated or angry, and I am surprisingly relieved.
"Right sorry," I cover my face even tho I know he can't see me.
"It's fine," there's a few laughs in the background, "and I was going to say," a few muffles are heard then a, "I'm sorry."
"Your sorry?"
"Yes I am, I tru-"
"I don't believe it. I'm the one that should be saying sorry, not you!"
"Well I am the one that said you made me feel worthless," there's a few more muffles in the background and a 'shut up' obviously coming from Connor before he tries to continue.
"Exactly Connor I made you feel worthless, I'm the one that should be saying sorry."
"But I realized Jude that saying that you made me feel worthless, saying it to you, probably made you feel way more worthless than I did. I was out of line for saying that to you and I'm sorry."
I did feel pretty worthless when he said that, not worthless just, an asshole.
"I was an ass," I shake my head, "I'm sorry too."
"Are we even?"
"I forgive you."
"And I forgive you."
"I don't know are we even?"
It goes silent for a minute.
"Yeah I guess, but I have one more question Jude. Do you-and be completely honest- do you like me?"
I hold my breath.
Yes.
"No-"
"I thought so," his voice cracks.
"Wait," I say a little too loudly.
"What?!" He yells through gritted teeth.
"No I don't like you-"
"I get it Jude you don't have to repeat it."
"Let me finish," I say little too calmly.
I'm going to lose him if I don't choose the right words.
"I don't like you because, I can't. I can't just like you, especially you. It's hard not to feel so much love for you. I love you."
He lets out a deep sigh, I can't tell if it's a sigh of relief or regret.
"I love you too. I loved you since I first set my eyes on you. I can't just like you either. I can act like I'm angry, but I just can't be angry at you for very long, believe it or not your voice makes it hard."
I laugh, "really cause my voice doesn't stop me from being angry at myself."
"I said I forgive you," he sighs again.
"I know," I take a breath, "I never said I forgave myself."
YOU ARE READING
Dolls in Dollhouses (A Jonnor Fanfiction)
Fanfiction•I still love him• The thing about people is they think you are what you look. If you smile you're the happiest person in the world. If you cry you're the saddest person in the world. What they don't know is the smile is fake and you're crying tears...
