Kismet (Namjin Mpreg)

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

(Kismet)

Seokjin's POV:

The chave mirror was greasy with hand prints and faded expo marks. It needed some major cleaning but it was never actually done.

I look at myself for the fifteenth time. My hair won't cooporate with me. It was all over the place. I hated it.

Wether choosing to go with my hair down or a quiff, it wouldn't matter because my hair would look like i just woke up from a five hundred hour nap at the end of the day.

"Aish!" I flap my hands out of desperation. Why couldn't look good today out of all days. 0

I sigh. Namjoon's graduation isn't for another couple of hours. Maybe changing my clothes will take the attention away from my eyes.

Layint down on the bed, I recall back to the last time Namjoon and I were alone together in his room. We kissed for a long time. The longest I had ever kissed someone. When I mean someone, I really mean someone. With my father's sudden death at such a young age, my explorations about my own sexuality were pretty much over.

I was supressed to stop my dreams and hopes to work the minute I was out of highschool. There wasn't time at all. All my time was dedicated to maintain the lifestyle my brothers lived before my father's death.

Until Namjoon, that's all I cared about. Their happiness and well beings. Now I'm not so sure. Of course I still cared for them, It's just that now I have started to notice myself.

I deserve to be happy as well. Was I only living for them or for me? I pretty much never thought of that until him. Every day I long for his touch, even if it's a small hand gesture.

Our relationship has been a little rocky ever since we last met at his condo. After the kiss, and our attempt to go all the way, the situation had turn from steamy to awkward. It seem like he wanted to have me under him so bad but I couldn't do it.

The dream of me pregnant with his kid was vivid on my mind. I wanted him so bad. Yet I was the one who stopped it. The chances of me getting pregnant are really high.

Without a condom, I could have a child basically with any guy, including him. I don't want to ruin his plans or dreams because I was careless and horny for him. Not when I'm starting to see a future where I can finalized the little dreams that I have left.

Why couldn't I be normal? Why couldn't I have sex and not be worried that'll be pregnant if I don't wear a condom. Stupid uterus inside of me.

"Aish," I yell with all my anger. Weird. Abnormal. Stupid. Unordinary. All the words I wish I wasn't, play around my head as they dance together in unsion to mock my own existence.

My hair is a complete mess, an ahour of hard work completely ruined. Maybe i should shave my head? I shutter at the thought.

"What are you doing?" Taehyung appears in front of my face with curiosity.

"Having a meltdown. "

"Is it because of your hair? It looked fine until now." I slap his arm. He giggles with guiltness.

Jungkook besides me was texting Jimin, his fingers furiously tapping the screen.

He was sitting down, his legs crossed over each other,pretzel style. I poke his thigh, which was whiter than my hand. He was wearing black basketball shorts with no shirt on.  His white socks were dirty, the bottom of his soles blackned with splotches that covered it's supposed whitness.

Jungkook's leg twitches at the contact of my finger. His eyes never leave the screen. He must be really smitten with Jimin. That makes me smile. At least he's happy.