Kismet (Namjin Mpreg)

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-One:

(Kismet)

Seokjin's POV:

I am left, standing frozen on my feet, as I watch him take Seokjoon away from me. I feel as if everyone is walking fast like in the music videos where the singer is looking at the camera and everyone around them are walking fast. I'm left puzzled. One minute I was with my son and the next he's gone.

The turn of events was something that I did not expect; not today to say the least. I thought I was coming back to just my mother, one of my darkest memories, but know here he is as well,no longer a memory; a full blown nightmare.

I am no longer going to my past to just see it,I'm going to live it but this time bittersweet.

'What did I do?' I was so surprised to see Namjoon hugging Seokjoon that I was lost. I hadn't seen his face in years and today, unexpectedly, here he was, the same as ever but there was a change by the way he holded himself. His gentle face was masked with anger. The face that I remember, the caring deep brown eyes, were now gone. He only holds hatred for me.

But that does not mean that he has every right to demean me, to say that I am less than him by taking our son away without permission. He didn't have the decency to ask me, he just took Seokjoon.

But I let him. I let him take away Seokjoon from me instead of saying no to him. Perhaps I let him because I was slightly guilty when my eyes met his. I wanted to say sorry so bad. I know that a sorry will never reduced the amount of time Namjoon lost with our son.

My stomach churns, the agony of my mistakes following me as I walk back outside. I don't stop to buy anything and instead jog as fast as I can.

When I get out, the freezing, cool air coming from the AC hits my back after closing the door. I feel my throat tightening. I haven't been far away from Seokjoon and not having him here makes me uneasy. The quivering of my leg does not help at all; I am too weak.

"Namjoon?" I say, my voice weaker than ever. I just want to throw myself to him and tell him how sorry I am. I know that what he did does not justify the reason behind it. It absolutely does not. But I am the reason behind it and I am at total fault because I made his dark memories,his dark thoughts, his dark emotions: I am a complete monster.

Namjoon slowly turns around, the faint smile that he has, has evaporated with the mention of his name, my voice his torment. Seokjoon was still on his hips, his little eyes smiling as he holds a black phone.

He didn't leave with him. He didn't leave to whatever he was going. Instead he is in front of my car, the back seat door open, Sofia looking at me with worry eyes. Taehyung is in the front, his eyes stuck on Namjoon only.

I gulp, nervous hands on my butt as they rub the uneasiness away; my quivering lips trying to settle as they hold my apologies, my regret.

Every step is calculated in Namjoon's eyes. He follows me all they way, his gaze never fading in anything but a frown.

"I'm not a monster," he tells me. "I couldn't take him away. I don't want him to hate him. I just want to be with my son, I want him to know who I am." As he tells me this, his frown turns into vulnerability, his gesture desperate for my understanding.

I understand. I want to tell him. I understand you, Namjoon. Stupid me. I don't understand him. If I did, I wouldn't have taken years away from knowing his only son. I almost laugh inside my head. He doesn't want sympathy, he wants justice for what I did. He doesn't want cruel me, the gentle me is gone. In his eyes I am no longer the same.

"I'm sorry," I muster to say. I don't know what to say. What can I say to console him. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I already did too much damage.