Kismet (Namjin Mpreg)

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Four:
(Kismet )

In the split second that it took Namjoon to sit on the chair beside him, his son, Seokjoon, on his hips, Taehyung's stare was broken once he averted his eyes to Namjoon.

It had been years that he has seen his forbidden lover. Hoseok had always been in his mind, every second thought of him was filled in his embedded brain, on his aroused body, his quavering soul. No amount of preparation would help him be ready to confront the man that he was desperately in love with.

That face that he so long saw, watched in the media, smiling and putting all of his hard work into dancing besides other male dancers, was now in front of him, familiar and unfamiliar to him.

Their love was wrong, immoral, deceptive. Other people saw as prey and victim. Another young soul in the eyes of his predator. People got it all wrong,his hyung, Seokjin, got it all wrong.

It was all wrong: the assuming, the wrong stares, the judging. It wasn't a boy who was mature enough to want to date someone who was in the age of young adult maturity. Their love was prosperous. It was that kind of love that went beyond looks, beyond lust, it was that kind of love that attracted souls, friction rubbing against their pulsing skin.

Hoseok saw something in him and in Taehyung's eyes, he had found someone who understood him, who went beyond his exterior. He didn't judge. Hoseok's personality eased Taehyung's mind into peace, into his content fulfillment.

Taaehyung was afraid of the world, afraid of himself. He was afraid to live in a world where the first thing that made you hate yourself is being, your actual self. Living in a world where we hate ourselves, our existences, is a world where he did not want to live in.

The drown sorrows he would indulge through self cutting pain would take him to a realm where the pain caused through a surface was content enough to smile and say, ' this pain is sufficient enough to erase the pain of my mind.'

Taehyung was no longer a breathing, moving person but a walking corpse, his inside twisted with agony, every breath a mirrored gasp of salvation. His mind would scream, " I am a human. Don't make me feel like the bottom of your shoe, save me from your discrimination." No one would hear him. He can shout and that same cry, that he so desperately is hoping to be heard, will be ignored because in living in this world is to live in ignorance and egoistic souls.

But that scream that he kept distributing every single ice-sharp cry was heard of a young man who with all his warmth, and open eardrum, would hear and make him feel like a human deserving to move and breath oxygen.

That man was Hoseok so how can a man who was willing to be there for him and make him feel like he deserves to live, to feel all his organs running with glee, the wrong person to love? What did age had to with their love?

He understood that men the same as age as Hoseok prey on young children like him, naive to call it love, and lure them to their lair where they would use them to their advantage and satisfaction. But what he didn't understand was that Hoseok wasn't doing that to him so why did the age matter.

Their love was different. Taehyung more than anything wanted his embrace, his kind words, loving stare to help him ease the pain, to make him remember why he should he be loved and deserving of this magical place called earth.

Heart shattering became his deception. Once again he lost the reason to love himself. Although his friends back home, Baekhyun and Amanda, would make him see the world in a different way, Hoseok was the one who saw in him a spark of change and that light that he shone on him would not be lit until they reunited again.