Kismet (Namjin Mpreg)

Chapter Forty

                      Chapter Forty
(Kismet)

Swirling thoughts, cannot be kept from Namjoon's mind as the beat of the song starts, and the melody absorbs him into his own state of in between reality and day dream.

Namjoon had been working for his mix tape for quite a while, and even if he had some songs in mind, and scratches of lyrics here and there to make a somewhat decent meaningful song, he still had trouble coming up with his main title track.

His heart was telling him that his main track should talk about his despairs and his irk towards Seokjin's lie. While his mind repeatedly told him of his struggles with coming to terms with his father's death, and the new life that has been handed to him after countless already chosen futures for him.

His head bobbed up and down, his eyes closed. He could feel Suga watching him, analyzing his reaction to the mixture of his blended beats with the already existing ones.

"What do you think?" The sound was cut off and his eyes opened, his head resting on top of the chair, his thoughts still not settling in.

"Brilliant. I love how you combined these beats together. I hope I had the perfect lyrics for it," Namjoon tells him, a bit bittersweet at the perfection of the rhythm but no companion to be tied with.

Suga makes a squeaky noise that half sounds like a snort and laugh. "Why you gotta make this all complicated, dude? Just write. These emotions are fucking you up big time."

That was very true. Even himself, trying to deny it, can't help but accept the truth. Having Seokjin by his side is fucking him up all over again.

As he settles in his sit, shifting his legs so that he is leaning on his side and his leg is on top of the other, he removes his beanie and starts to play with it. "I don't know what to think, man. I feel like I'm drifting away from Ye-Jun. I want to feel whole again with him."

His stomach was unsettle. The guilt was trapping him into sides he didn't want to chose. Feelings that he didn't want to feel at the moment.

"Look, you have a choice whether you feel indecisive or not; whatever choice you make is better than leaving things to stay there, fragile. If you really feel like you're drifting away from Ye-Jun, then do something about it," wholeheartedly Suga advices him, looking at him like he's sure that his advice will work.

For some time he spends thinking about what Suga says while Suga clicks on his computer. The silence was good. Both his heart and mind were discussing their differences so that they can become accord with one single decision that can finally put himself to ease.

The door creaks
open, and before they could react, Zahara's voice is present before her body is.

"Is this some type of therapy or something cause I want in," she chimes, throwing her bag on the small couch that Suga has over the studio booth, her scarf coming off next.

Namjoon laughs. This was turning into a free therapy session. " If Suga caves in, we have ourselves a new therapist," he cackles, easing his way into relaxation. Zahara always eases his mind.

"You're just taking advantage over my wise words. I need myself some college classes if I'm gonna spend my time listening to people's problems over my owns." With a swift move, he fetches his phone and stands up so that Zahara could sit. "I'm going to get some food for Seokjoon."

"Tell him to come in here," Namjoon shouts as Suga walks out of the room.

He feels bad for forgetting that his son was here. Seokjoon had eventually gotten bored of the small place so he went outside of the room and played with his toys, of course with the supervision of him, every other five minutes.