Kismet (Namjin Mpreg)

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen:

(Kismet)

Seokjin's POV:

It's been like a habit for me to start ignoring Namjoon's phone calls and invites to hang out with him. Ever since running away from him at the rap club, I can't seem to look him in the eyes. Shame and guilt eat my subconscious like a dog when it's hungry. I'm too of a fool to think that I can stay a little longer to enjoy my time with him but I am wrong. The more time I spend time here the more my belly grows and the lies become even bigger.

Lies eventually become truth and lying becomes a habit. As satisfying as it sounds to pretend that everything is alright, and that my future and Namjoon's future isn't at stake, I can't no longer lie and pretend that it is.

If I can't look at Namjoon without feeling guilt than I can't look at myself without seeing disgust. As this baby grows inside of me, the less time I have here. And I am so selfish. So. So. So selfish. It's not just Namjoon's life I am deciding, it is also my brothers. They have their lives here, Jungkook has the love of his life here.

But I can't stay. I know I can't no matter how selfish I am to everyone. They might hate me but I rather have that then have Namjoon's life be ruined. Jungkook will understand me. After all, they are still young. If they really do love each other, they will be together forever no matter the distance and years.

Here we go, another dreadful day. Getting my lunch bag and my house keys, I peek over Jungkook whom was sleeping soundlessly on the top of the bunk bed and give him a kiss on his forehead then I close the door of the room. Taehyung slept on the couch because he begged me to sleep there. Apparently there was a drama that he wanted to finish- he swore he only needed two more episodes- since Netflix doesn't work on our room and the other room doesn't have a TV.

Taehyung's foot was the floor while his other leg had all the sheets wrapped on. His lips were parted from each other and a little sound was coming out from his mouth. He shakes his head for a second before shifting himself to face the couch and the leg that was on the floor was on top of the other. I laugh and kiss his head before locking the door and embarking myself on the long walk from the apartments to the bus stop.

~~~

This day couldn't get any slower. The air conditioner stopped working and my white long sleeve shirt was sticking to my back making my bump more visible. On top of that, I was really hungry and desperate for a hot dog. Too bad lunch wasn't for another couple of hours.

"I swear this is like the third customer we have had today. Seriously, is Mr. Kim going bankrupt or what," Hae-won whines, shaking her hair out of her forehead. She flaps her hands on her face to bring more air into her face.

"It must be the summer hot air that's driving our customers away. If it wasn't because I was working today, I wouldn't have come out either. It's like hell decided to have a party today here in L.A. and it's habitants are having way too much fun." I squint my eyes and remove the excess the sweat from my eyes. Today, with the hottest day of the month with a hundred and fifteen degrees, decides to break down and makes us suffer.

Hae-won groans and shakes her body furiously. "You know what? I can't take this any longer." She takes her phone from her back pocket and puts the phone on her ear. "Can you bring a small fan to work Mr. Clark?" Hae-won shoos me with her hand as she gets out of the cash register and talks to his butler Mr, Clark.

I take my phone out as well and look at my messages. There's two missed phone calls from Namjoon and one voicemail from him. Jungkook messaged me saying that Taehyung won't listen to him and is watching Netflix again and won't help around the house. I roll my eyes and message Jungkook back that he should tell Taehyung that I order him to wash the dishes and clean the beds. As for namjoon, I ignore his calls and delete his voicemail. Instead, I send him a short message that I am busy and can't meet up with him.