I wake up to find Finn looking at me.
I wake up feeling, what is this feeling? I am used to sadness, disappointment, fear, but this feeling is new, and unfamiliar. I haven't felt it in such a long time. If I have had it at all.
I want to believe that this is real, and that Finn wants to be here with me, but there is a large part of me that simply won't accept it.
"Rae, I think we should get up and go out. You up for that?" Finn asks.
"We probably should, but where?" I ask cautiously. Whether I want to go will depend on where Finn suggests he wants to go. I have to admit I am scared that when we leave our little bubble things will change, he will come back to reality and realise that I am me. Why the fuck do I have to be me?
Finn lays out his plan "first, my place, I need to shower" he outlines as he smells his shirt pulling a face like he smells. To me he smells of Finn, which is perfect. "Plus I need to survey the damage after the party, though I did leave it in my mate Chop's capable hands. If he fucks up, he will never be able to have a party at anyone's house again, so I am pretty sure it will be ok. Well I hope it will be ok. Then maybe the chippy for food" he continues somehow reading my mind, I am starving , but OH FUCK, I can't eat in front of him. "then, I have somewhere I'd like to take you. I guess it is my special place" he says. His 'special place' has me more than a little bit curious. I wonder where Finn's special place could be, or why he feels he wants to share it with me. Biggest hurdle still is the chippy for food, how the hell am I going to manage this. I eat in front of nobody except Mum, so how the hell am I going to eat in front of Finn. I start to fidget, and then I try to stop myself as I notice Finn looking at my hands.
"So, you have a special place hey Finn?" I question him, hoping to distract him from my obvious discomfort. "Yup, I do Rae, and I have never taken anyone there before, but I want to take you" Finn explains while taking my hand in his reassuring me gently. "After your special spot Finn, can you do me a favour?" before Finn can answer and before I lose my nerve I continue "can we spend tonight together? I mean, obviously, if you don't want to spend more time with me I totally understand, or you want some time alone, I also totally understand." I find myself talking at a 100 miles per hour, in freak out mode, but trying to sound normal. Be NORMAL Rae, NORMAL!
"Rae, I have no intention to let you go until you tell me to" Finn explains still holding my hands and rubbing the back of them with this thumb. "My Dad isn't back for a couple of days so if you want you can come to my place?" Finn offers full of hope. "I would like that Finn, my Mum doesn't come back home until Monday, and to be honest, I hate being alone" I reply.
I hope Finn doesn't have the wrong impression, I want to spend tonight with him, and while I can't wait to get my hands on any part of his body, I really can't stand the thought of him touching me. I wonder if I should make it clear, because the more I think about it, I could sound like I want him to devour me, and while I do, I know I won't be able to deal with it. He has barely touched me and it freaked me out. But even though it has been the shortest amount of time I can't imagine not being near him.
"Rae, talk to me, I can see you are thinking about something. What's worrying you?" Finn asks me with a look of genuine concern.
I bite my lip, and hesitate. I know I have to try to explain to him, he won't let this go and he deserves to understand. Well what I can tell him anyways. "Finn, when I said spend tonight together, I, ummm, wanted to say, I, ummm."
"Rae, it is ok, just say it, it won't change anything ok" he reassures me.
"I just didn't want you to think that I meant that we would ummm" I try and spit it out but I find myself overcome with embarrassment. For Fuck Sake Rae, my inner voice screams at me, he wouldn't want to sleep or touch you anyway, you are fat and ugly, you presumptuous fat cow, no way without a tonne of booze he would want to see you naked and touch your flaws. Your flaws would ensure he never wants to see you again.
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One to Another - quiet, kind & special people
FanficMMFD Fanfic, taking I guess my own view of how Finn and Rae could of met and became Rinn. Inspired by the reference to Quiet, Kind and Special people coming along once in a lifetime & the shows theme song 'One to Another'. Not everyone who we se...