One to Another - quiet, kind & special people

Part 42 - Finn

Fucking hell, how the fuck did I end up here?  We drove to Rae's house in silence.  It is so hard for me to say anything to Rae, without me being angry that what I thought was heading in the right direction, appears to have taken a massive backward step.  In my head, after Rae left the hospital we would go and do something together, enjoy our new freedom.  I seriously thought today's biggest hurdle was over.   Being woken up by a very angry Mrs Earl and for then our parents to accept that Rae and I would more than likely be spending time together, I really didn't see today ending like this. 

As we pull up at Rae's house, I want to tell her to chose me, I want her to make me believe that the other guy means nothing to her, but I know I can't.  I take Rae's hand, "Rae, I'll call you later ok?" She nods as she thanks me for driving her to her appointment and then home again.   I can feel my heart break as the door opens and she leaves me.  I watch her every move as she enters her house.  I hate this.

"Now what Nelson?" I say to myself, really not sure what the next move is.  What the hell do I do with myself now?  If I go home, I will have to face twenty questions from dad and I am not prepared to talk about it.  I know I am certainly not ready to accept what has happened. 

I start the car and take off.  Not quite sure where I am going, but I end up at the rec center.  I grab my gym bag from the back of the car and make my way inside.  As I walk inside I look for Archie, who I think is working.  "Archie" I say, seeing him behind the desk.  He can see by the look on my face that I am not happy. 

"Finn, mate, what is going on?" Archie asks. 

"I wish I knew Archie" I admit.  "I really need to fucking hit something."

"You what?" Archie can't seem to believe what I have said.   

"I am going to get changed and work out until I pass out" I say as I walk towards the change room.  Every step with purpose. With Archie following me. 

"Finn, what the hell is going on?" he asks me. 

I open my bag get out my gym gear and dump my trainers on the floor, and I start to get changed.  I pull off my boots, and take off my jeans, replacing them with the my shorts.  I pull my shirt over my head and replace it with my gym shirt.  I sit and put on my trainers.   I have said nothing as I am getting changed.  I really don't know how to explain what has happened. Archie is hovering. I look up finally in despair.

"Where the fuck do I start?" I say honestly lost, and frustrated. 

"The beginning" Archie offers.

"So yesterday Rae and I spent some time together, then had an amazing phone conversation and then I ended at her place, and falling asleep with her in her bed.  It was all great, until her mum caught us this morning."

"You what Finn.  Fuck what did Rae's mum say?" Archie is obviously shocked. 

"Yeah well, once we calmed Rae's mum down, she ended up speaking to dad and the two of them decided that Rae and I could spend nights at each other's house, but with that, it would appear Rae is even more freaked out.  Anyways, I thought we had it pretty much sorted out... oh fuck, got to say, I have no idea how to explain what the fuck happened" I try and explain.   "Ok, so, Rae was coming out of her appointment, I had been waiting for her, and well, this guy came up to her.  I think he likes her.  Which obviously, I am not that surprised about, but she changed towards me after she talked to him.  I think she likes him Archie.  I didn't see this coming" I confess sadly, wishing this would all go away. 

"What lad?" Archie questions. 

"Oh I don't know, some lad that Rae knows.  She claims he has never really spoken to her before, but, seriously she changed towards me after she spoke with him.  It was like she had something to hide" I try and explain.