I Am Your Wrath I Am Your Guilt I am Your Lust

Chapter 11

Zack's POV

I won't lie, I had fun. I really enjoyed myself and I really enjoyed Samantha's company, just sitting there, listening to music, talking about anything and everything, it felt good and I felt relaxed and comfortable.

We kind of got off too a bad start, when I mentioned the not telling anybody about Matt and Aubrey. I came off as an arrogant piece of shit, but I didn't mean too. I meant what I said, our fans could be brutal but our wives were even worse. I'd hate to see two girls get hate just for being nice to us when we both needed it the most.

While I was enjoying Samantha's company Matt was enjoying something else, occasionally we'd here a bang, thump or a moan and we'd laugh at it, there was nothing else we could do but laugh at it, at least they were having fun.

Eventually Matt emerged, looking like he'd gone a few rounds in the ring with Muhammad Ali, but the smile on his face, it was something I hadn't seen in a long time. He looked happy and he looked relaxed.

We said our goodbyes and as we walked down the path out the front of the girl's place I kind of kicked myself. I should have gotten Samantha's number.

"What the fuck?" I whispered to myself as we started walking. Why the fuck did I need her number?

"What?" Matt asked as he hobbled along.

"Nothing." I muttered. "And what the fuck is wrong with your leg?"

He had a pretty bad limp and I was concerned that he might have done his knee again.

"Nothing." He muttered. "Nothing is wrong my leg."

"Yeah right." I laughed.

"Okay I think I pulled something alright." He chuckled, limping along.

I nodded, laughing along with him. "Nobody can find out Matt."

He frowned at me. "I know that you idiot." He snapped. "What do you think I'm, going to do? Hey Val I got a good hard fucking tonight, it was fabulous, she could probably teach you a thing or two."

"That's not what I meant." I snapped. "Could you imagine the hate Aubrey would get if this got out?"

He sighed. "Yeah I know." He muttered.

We walked a little further in silence, both of us thinking.

"I cheated on my wife." Matt suddenly blurted.

"Look." I said stopping and looking at him. "Nobody will ever know okay, so just go home and pretend it never happened."

"You're right." He muttered nodding his head and limping again.

I walked a little way behind him, watching his back. He cheated on his wife, yes, I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was pretty damn sure his wife had cheated on him, numerous times. How do you tell a friend that? Besides I didn't have any proof, just that Val was so self obsessed it wouldn't surprise me if she did just it for the hell of it.

I shook my head. What had gone wrong? Once we were all happy. Yeah marriage was hard work, but should it be this hard? Matt was half the man he used to be and tonight, for the first time in a long time, I'd seen the old Matt and it was good, it was fucking great.

"Well." He said, stopping out the front of his house. "I'd better go in and face the music."

"Good luck." I said to him, and I meant it, he needed luck.

He shrugged. "She'll only yell at me for a minute then go back to pretending I'm not there."

"Man, look." I said, but I didn't know what I wanted to say.

"It's okay Zack." He said turning towards his door. "For better or for worse right?" He mumbled, opening the door and disappearing inside.

I nodded, walking towards my house. For better or for worse, but how much worse did it have to get before it got any better?

I needed to stop thinking about it. We'd gone out, we'd met some nice girls, we'd had some fun and now we were home. We'd never see those two girls again, but I couldn't help but wish that maybe we would.

I stood out the front of my house and stared at it. What would I be coming home to? The whiney voice, asking me where I've been? A crying baby? Who knew, life was like a game of Russian roulette at the moment, for all of us really.

I walked up the path and opened the door quietly, going inside and closing it.

"Where have you been?"

The whiney voice wins this round.

"Out with Matt." I said, flicking on a light. "I told you that.'

"It's 5 am Zack." She snapped, glaring at me.

"Well we were talking and time just got away from us." That wasn't a lie, I just failed to mention who we were talking to.

"I see." She muttered.

"Yeah and it is kind of late and I wouldn't mind going to bed." I added quickly.

"Yeah sure, you go to bed." She snapped. "And when the baby wakes up I'll get up and get him."

I groaned. I didn't want to do this, not now. "Well fine, I'll go and sleep in his room and then when he wakes I'll hear him." Well I hoped I heard him, I'd had a lot to drink.

"That sounds like the perfect idea." She snapped, turning and heading towards our room. "It's about time you did something for your son."

I stood there with my mouth hanging open, watching her go into the room.

Was she fucking serious? I'd basically raised that child myself from the moment he was born. The moment she'd left the hospital she'd started obsessing over her looks, about how much sleep she'd lost, about everything and I looked after our son. I'd been happy to let her do it too, well until last night, now I'd gotten a little taste of freedom and I liked it and I could assure Meaghan I would be having more nights out like this one, well maybe not exactly like this one, but anyway.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, heading into the bedroom.

"What are you doing?" Meaghan snapped when I opened the door.

"Getting changed." I muttered grabbing a pair of shorts to wear to bed.

I shut the door, well maybe I slammed it a little and I went into the bathroom and cleaned my teeth, getting changed, before heading into my son's room.

I opened the door softly and smiled at the sight of him. He was sleeping soundly on his side, smiling. I hoped he was having good dreams, wonderful dreams and I leant down, kissing his forehead lightly.

I climbed into the bed that was in his room and flicked off the lamp. He was the reason I was here, my son. If it wasn't for him I might have already left. I'd stay for him, I would always put him before myself. Unlike his Mother, his happiness would always come before mine.