I Am Your Wrath I Am Your Guilt I am Your Lust

Chapter 26

Samantha's POV

The morning after the amazing sexcapades was going pretty well until it was time that Zack had to go.

I told myself over and over again that I could handle this moment. That I could take it and be used to it. Not throw a hissy fit or bring up his wife. It wouldn't bother me. Zack could be hers most of the time but when he was with me he would be all mine.

She wouldn't matter. All that would matter was how I felt about him and nothing else could or would matter.

Unfortunately the minute Zack brought up he had to go home and would call me, my mouth responded before my brain and all of its rationalizations could stop it.

The mention of possibly hanging out brought the wife into my head. Making me feel guilty for my previous thoughts and promises to myself.

I now felt conflicted for wanting Zack in any way I could get him. Even if it meant I had to share with the woman he actually belonged to.

Tears, hot boiling tears, threatened to fall. I refuse to let him see me like this so of course I snatched my hand from his grasp and bolted from the room before they could fall.

When I reached my room I slammed my bedroom door shut. Angry at my outburst. Angry for my emotions.

I was falling and hard for a married man. I wanted him to stay.

I wanted him to stay here with me. Lay in this bed and do nothing but take the time really getting to know each other. More than we already did.

But no he had to go home.

He would always have to go home.

I had to honestly do some soul searching and decide once and for all could I actually do this.

Could I actually share the man I was certain I was falling in love with, with someone else?

Not just someone else but his wife?

I had to make this decision before it would break my heart too much to let him go.

Could I honestly accept what little bit of Zack I could have or just reject it all.

I groaned loudly laying down on my bed where Zack had previously slept.

There was the faint intoxicating smell of his cologne lingering on my pillow. I inhaled it deeply, wondering, now that I had gotten drunk from it could I now live my life without it?

A fresh wave of tears spilled down my cheeks as I thought about not having Zack at all.

Already it hurt and surprisingly it was an unbearable pain. Crippling to be completely honest.

A soft knock sounded on my door probably Aubrey to check on me. After all she knew this pain all too well. She was living it herself.

Just as I was about to call out and let her in Zack softly called through the door. "I'm going."

I jumped from my bed and had my hand on the doorknob ready to open it, apologize for my outburst when I heard him sigh.

I pressed my forehead against the door wanting to give him a proper good bye. A memorable c-ya later, one to make him want to return as soon as possible but the grief of knowing I would have to watch him walk away paralyzed me to the spot.

"I'll call you later Samantha." Zack softly whispered, effectively bringing me back to tears.

My broken heart shattered even further when I heard the soft click of the front door and his car start up and pull away.