I Am Your Wrath I Am Your Guilt I am Your Lust

Chapter 33

Aubrey's POV

How dare they! How dare Zack and how dare Samantha. This was my house too and Zack had just shown up, nobody asked me if it was okay and worse yet, now he'd brought Matt along with him.

I glared at all of them and stormed into my room, slamming the door. It was just so fucking rude.

I sat on my bed, silently fuming, listening to them murmur amongst themselves and I was still sitting there when I heard them all go to bed. Matt was obviously on the couch and so he should be, the asshole.

I changed into clean pyjama's and climbed into bed, turning off the light and thinking. Thinking about Matt of course.

He looked pretty beat up and I couldn't help but wonder what had happened exactly. Was he mugged? Zack had mentioned a concussion so I was assuming he got hit in the head although the bruises were pretty much a give away.

"You fucking idiot." I whispered to myself as I sat up and turned on the lamp.

I was going to check on him. I was a nurse, it was my nature to make sure he was okay, although frankly he could sink into a coma and I wouldn't care.

"Liar." I whispered opening the door and sneaking down the hall.

I peeked in. He was laying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling and god, he looked dreadful and beautiful all at the same time.

"Matt." I whispered, more to myself than him.

"Aubrey." He said, looking wide eyed at me.

Fuck. What was I doing? "I just wanted to make sure you're still awake, breathing, you are okay." I muttered, blushing because I was an idiot.

"I'm alive, but barely." He whispered, looking back at me.

God I hated him, but I didn't hate him, not at all and I found myself walking over to him, kneeling beside him, doting on him. I wanted him to feel better, he just looked so terrible and as I knelt there he started talking.

He told me everything, everything that had happened. I was shocked. His wife sounded horrid, absolutely horrid. And to do this to her husband. Christ, what the fuck would she do to me?

The whole situation was a mess and now, here he was, telling me it was me he wanted. Did I feel the same way? I was so confused, hurt and full of emotion I just didn't know what was what right now.

He kissed me and I closed my eye's savouring it, wishing he hadn't. It just felt so nice, so right and I couldn't help but kiss him back.

"Maybe you should stay in my room." I whispered, looking at his poor face. "So I can keep and eye on you."

He nodded and sat up grimacing and my heart broke for him all over again.

"Matt." I asked quietly as we walked into the room. "Please tell me you did not leave the boys with her." God, those poor little boys.

"No." He mumbled, climbing into bed. "My Mom has them, god, my mom, she can't know about this."

I sighed climbing in and turning off the lamp. He wanted to hide it. His wife had beat the absolute shit out of him and he wanted to hide it from his family, from the police. What was he going to tell them happened? They'd know something was up, the bruises would give him away.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, getting himself comfortable.

"Yeah." I lied because I was, I was lying.

Matt had said he wanted me, to be with me, he wanted to love me and god, that should have made me so happy, but I had doubts, lots of them and I couldn't ignore them even if I tried.

"Goodnight Aubrey." He whispered and he took my hand with his good hand, squeezing it. "Tomorrow, tomorrow we can work out what we are going to do."

What we were going to do? About what? His crazy wife? God this whole thing was giving me anxiety.

I closed my eye's. It felt so nice having him in bed with me, but was he going to stay? Would he go back to his wife? I just didn't know. It would seem I didn't know much of anything at the moment.

"Aubrey." Matt suddenly whispered, squeezing my hand. "Can you kiss me goodnight?"

I turned over and kissed him softly. God kissing him was everything, I loved and hated it all at the same time.

"Night." He murmured.

"Night." I replied.

I laid there for a little while, listening to him sleep, making sure his breathing was okay because regardless of what I was thinking I cared about Matt, I'd fallen for him big time. My head was telling me one thing, my heart was telling me another.

I eventually fell asleep, but I didn't sleep soundly and I woke up early, laying there, staring at the ceiling as the sun came up.

I eventually sat up carefully, looking at Matt. God he looked a mess and looking at him hurt my heart., so I climbed gently out of bed, swallowing my tears.

I went to the bathroom then crept into the kitchen. I needed coffee, badly.

"Morning." Samantha said quietly and I jumped a little.

"Fuck." I hissed. "What are you doing sitting here ." I opened the blinds. "In the fucking dark."

She shrugged, taking a mouthful of coffee.

I looked at her, really looked at her and she looked a damn mess.

"Are you okay?" I asked her softly as I made my own cup and sat next to her.

"God, the baby." She mumbled. "He woke up twice and even when he was asleep he made noises, so many noises, I just couldn't sleep."

"Oh yeah." I mumbled. "Babies do that, wake up and stuff."

"Aubrey." She cried. "I don't know if I'm ready for a baby, it's such a big step."

"I can understand that." It was a big step and Samantha had found a guy with a baby so she got an instant family.

"I mean don't get me wrong." She explained. "I like Zack, a lot, but a baby." And she let that hang in the air.

Kids were a pretty big deal and they were an even bigger deal when they weren't your own.

"You'll do fine Samantha." I told her because I knew she would, she'd adapt to a baby.

She nodded. "Maybe, it's just in the light of day it's all a little overwhelming."

It was my turn to nod, because she was right, it was all a little overwhelming. I guess we both had a lot to think about.

"How's Matt?" She asked me, changing the subject.

I shrugged. "He looks terrible."

She smiled, nodding. "I know that Aubrey, but how is he?"

I chewed my bottom lip, looking at her. "I too am a little overwhelmed Samantha." I whispered and then the tears started. "I want him but I'm scared."

Samantha hugged me, rubbing my back. "I know Aub." She whispered. "I know exactly what you mean."

And I realised, she did, she did know exactly what I meant. She was going through the same thing too.