I Am Your Wrath I Am Your Guilt I am Your Lust

Chapter 32

Matt's POV

I knew it was a bad idea coming to Aubrey and Samantha's.

I knew it.

The look on Aubrey's face confirmed it when I walked into the kitchen. I did want her to know that I had done exactly what she thought I couldn't do: Step up and leave my wife.

But the hurt on her face and anger when she looked at me made me question if coming here was a good idea. I had hurt her. Badly. It was clear to see all over her face.

I did leave Val and look what happened to me. I would not have ever in a million years guessed that Val would go this far. I wouldn't have dreamed that she would honestly take a baseball bat to my head and try to bash my skull in. Sure she had smacked me or punched me a few times over the years, but, I wouldn't have thought she would've gone that far.

I wanted more than anything right now to talk to Aubrey. To tell her yes I was wrong. I was scared of my wife, not because she would do something like she did, but I was scared I would end up with someone just like her. I would still be miserable no matter who I was with. I needed Aubrey to know I did this, took this, all for her. I'd do it again too.

It is a comforting thought knowing that Aubrey has seen I wasn't lying. My soon to be ex wife is crazy. Obviously, I have to concussion to prove it now.

I was thankful that Samantha said I could stay. I really didn't have any where else I wanted to be. It was nice knowing Aubrey was in the next room. Not to mention the woman is a nurse and if I started throwing up in my sleep or some crazy shit, Aubrey was a trained medical professional and would know how to save me. Save me more than she already had. I had to tell her that. Maybe in the morning I could talk to her. Explain to her how sorry I am about how her and I began.

Making her feel like all I wanted from her was sex. That wasn't true. The sex was amazing, honestly the best I had ever had, but in reality it was her. There was something beyond special about Aubrey. She is exactly what I need in my life. Now that Val is gone, I would do anything to make sure one way or another she would be there.

Samantha was a nice girl I could tell with her fussing around the kitchen trying to make me comfortable with Zack's son on her hip.

It was a nice gesture but right now I wanted to be alone and some quiet. I didn't want to hurt her or Zack's feelings, between Aubrey, Samantha, and Zack they had saved me. But the one person I wanted the most stormed out of the room at the sight of me. So I did what I could do I asked for some alone time waiting for them to go to Sam's room.

When I heard the door close I walked around the house turning off the remaining lights and hunting down the linen closet making the couch up for me to rest.

I felt tired but I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to reflect on what I would say to Aubrey to convince her to please give me a shot.

I really wanted to talk to her now. Make her see now. But I knew it wouldn't happen. I had hurt her a little too much. I hope not so much there wasn't a way to salvage what I know we could have.

"Matt?" I hear someone whisper my voice softly and I look up to see Aubrey standing over me in the dark.

"Aubrey." I breathe shocked she's there.

"I just wanted to make sure you're still awake. Breathing. You are. OK. Rest." She stammers flushing crimson.

"I'm alive, but barely." I half laugh in pain.

My face must've given me away because Aubrey kneels suddenly by my face "Are you in pain? Of course you are. Can I help?" She asks me sweetly.

"Its okay just sore. But you can stay and talk to me? Please. It would help me. It would help me feel like maybe this was all worth it."