I Am Your Wrath I Am Your Guilt I am Your Lust

Chapter 18

Samantha's POV

It's been a long week.

I was tired of being tired.

Tired of moping.

This week had been horrible. I was honestly driving myself crazy. I found myself constantly thinking of Zack.

I kept wondering if he was okay? Was he resting? He looked so tired and worn down that night.

What was worse is I kept having to resist the urge to Google him. It made me feel like a horrible stalker and a hussy for lusting over a very married man. I wanted to see him for some reason, knowing I never had that affect on him.

I would find myself rubbing my cheek in class where he kissed me with a goofy smile.

I was sick of it. Sick of cursing myself for liking him. Sick of thinking about him.

I needed a distraction. This house reminded me of him now. Everytime I walked past the couch I could envision him sitting there. I needed to get out for a bit clear my head. I was hungry so a lunch in a fancy restaurant could be what the doctor ordered.

Poor Aubrey was moping too. She was trying to hide it...but I knew. I knew because I was displaying the same feeble attempts to pretend all was well when no it wasn't well, not at all.

"Wanna go to lunch?" I asked barging into her room finding her on her bed.

"Do you mind?" She snapped.

"Get up we're going to lunch you miserable sack of shit." I snapped right back. Of course I didn't think she was actually a miserable sack of shit.

"Fine." Aubrey groaned sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Good and if dick face comes over we won't be here." I added thinking of the relentless Hunter. The dick came over every single day trying to suck up to Aubrey and worm his way in.

It made me sick. I hated the guy honestly and everytime he showed up I just wanted to scream 'she doesn't want you you've got a tiny dick and can't fuck now go away' and slam the door in his face. But thanks to the promise we both made that wasn't an option.

"Let's do something fancy." I smiled leaving to let her get ready.

We both showered and chose dresses to wear.

I wasn't much up for driving so I piled into the passenger seat letting Aubrey drive.

"Smile Aubrey." I urged her trying to smile at her.

Aubrey gave me a look that told me she wasn't buying my own smiling facade. She knew I was miserable too.

She looked at me giving me one of those fake toothy smiles "Better?" She asked me.

No it wasn't better. It mirrored my own self pity, so I rolled my eyes sitting in silence.

I kept asking god the same questions I had been asking all week. Why would he bring these two amazing men into our lives only to punish us by being married.

Really it was my fault for asking to sit at their table. All the events that happened that night, everything. It was all my fault.

We arrived and parked at the restaurant and walked in.

Immediately cursing myself for this idea.

"It's a little busy." Aubrey whispered removing her sunglasses.

I nodded following the waiter to our table.

It was busy. Very busy. So much for a quiet lunch.