I Am Your Wrath I Am Your Guilt I am Your Lust

Chapter 29

Aubrey's POV

I was miserable, absolutely miserable. I was having trouble concentrating, sitting still and I couldn't eat, just the thought of food made nauseous.

How dare he! How dare he do this to me, make me care and then go home to his family. I was so angry with Matt, but more importantly I was so angry with myself. I'd gotten myself into this mess, now I needed to get myself out of it.

I needed company, to get me out of my misery but Samantha was in her room and later in the afternoon, when she finally came out, I noticed she was smiling widely so I didn't want to dampen her mood. I was glad she'd found Zack, and if she didn't mind the marriage situation, well good for her. I wish I could ignore the fact that Matt was married, but I just couldn't.

It was probably around dinner time when the doorbell rang. I was laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. I'd finally stopped crying, I had no tears left.

"I'll get it." Samantha called and I was glad because I wasn't getting up to answer it.

I could hear Samantha talking softly to someone, but I couldn't give a fuck who it was, I couldn't give a fuck about anything right now.

"Look who it is." Samantha announced, walking in followed by Zack, who was clutching a child of around eight months old.

Fuck. I sat up quickly. The last thing I wanted was Zack to run back to Matt, telling him how miserable I was.

"Oh hey." I mumbled, trying to pat my hair down.

"Hey Aubrey." Zack said. "This is Junior."

I smiled at the baby. He really was adorable and as he looked at me he opened his mouth and started crying.

"I feel you little guy." I murmured.

"Do you mind?" Zack asked Sam, handing her Junior. "I'll get him a bottle."

"Sure." She beamed, taking Junior and sitting next to me as Zack took a bag into the kitchen.

She sat there trying to quieten the child while I sat there watching her.

"So." She said looking at me. "He left her."

"I beg your pardon?" I asked, raising my eyebrow's.

"He left his wife." She said quietly, smiling.

I bit my lip, saying nothing. I didn't trust myself, right now. I wanted to slap the shit out of her. How come she could get what she wanted, but I couldn't? Ugh, I hated her happiness, so much.

"Lucky you." I mumbled, staring at the television.

"Aubrey." She said softly, but I cut her off.

"Can it Samantha, I'm really not interested." And I wasn't. Was I a horrible friend? Probably, but right now I didn't care.

I sat there, listening to Zack and Samantha talk and occasionally kiss. The baby fell asleep and they all disappeared for a while, for which I was glad. I didn't want company, and I certainly didn't want the company of people who appeared happy.

Eventually they came back out, much to my disappointment and I was sitting there, considering calling Rowan, I mean honestly, at least he loved me, when Zack's phone rang.

"Hello?" He said, answering and frowning.

I looked at him, wishing he would kindly fuck off to another room.

"What?" He snapped. "You're not making any sense." He fell quiet, listening. I couldn't hear the other person on the line, but I guessed it wasn't good by the look on Zack's face. "No, fuck." He snapped. "Wait, stay on the line with me, I'm coming over."

Zack covered his phone and looked at Samantha and I. "Um, I have to go out for a bit, is it okay if, well you know."

"Of course he can stay here." Samantha said, smiling.

I wanted to slap her again. It wasn't okay with me but apparently what I thought didn't matter.

"Good." And I watched as he kissed her. "I'll call you and explain when I know exactly what's going on."  

Zack left in a hurry and I sat there, staring at the wall.

"Aubrey are you okay?" Samantha asked me quietly.

I shrugged. "Just wondering if Zack was going to see his wife."

Fuck I was a bitch and the look on Samantha's face confirmed that. Why would I say that to my best friend.

"Oh god." I whispered, bursting into tears. "I didn't mean that, I'm just........" And I let my voice trail off.

"Oh Aubrey." Sam whispered and she puled me to her chest, hugging me tightly. "I know."

I let her hug me for a bit, then I sat up, wiping my face.

"Enough." I said putting on a fake smile. "I'm not thinking about him anymore."

Samantha opened her mouth to reply when a cry from her bedroom interrupted her.

"Oh, better get him." She said, getting up.

She reappeared a short time later, clutching a crying Junior.

"Aubrey." She said looking at me with wide eye's. "What does he want?"

I shook my head. Samantha was great with kids, I mean she was a teacher, but when it came to baby's, she was a little clueless.

"Did you change his diaper?" I asked her, looking between her and the baby.

"Um no." She mumbled.

I shook my head smiling at her, scooping the baby out of her arms and heading into room, grabbing the bag that Zack had brought with him.

I changed the baby quickly while Samantha watched.

"Does he eat solids?" I asked her, walking out of the room and into the kitchen.

"Um fuck." She snapped. "I have no idea."

"Language." I said softly, opening the fridge and grabbing a little container of home made baby food. "Obviously he does and I'm going to say this little guy is hungry, so here."

I handed Junior to Samantha and then went about heating his food. Junior watched me, chatting his strange language and waving his arm's around.

"Hungry baby." I smiled, sitting opposite Samantha and spooning a mouthful in Juniors mouth. "Actually, starving baby." I giggled, watching him scoff it down.

"God he is." Samantha laughed.

I smiled at her. She looked so happy and honestly, she looked perfect with a child in her arm's.

I continued feeding him, while Sam chatted to him, when I heard the door open.

"Hey." Zack called out.

"In the kitchen." Samantha called out and I smiled at Junior, the look on his face after hearing his Daddy's voice was priceless.

"Hi." He said, appearing in the doorway and smiling at us all.

I looked at him and smiled, but my smile didn't last long. Matt walked in right behind him.

"What the fuck?" Samantha cried, jumping up. "What happened?"

"Um look." Zack said quietly. "Do you mind if he stays here tonight?"

I stood up. I minded, I minded a lot.

"No that's fine." Samantha assured them.

Yeah, don't worry about me, I thought as I glanced at Matt. Christ, he looked a mess. He had a black eye's, what I would guess was a cut on his head and one of his wrist's was in a bandage.

Zack sighed. "We kind of have to keep him awake for awhile, he has a concussion." He stated.

"What the hell happened?" Samantha asked again.

I didn't wait for a reply. If Matt was staying it would be on the couch, not in my room.

I meant it, I really wanted nothing to do with him anymore.