I Am Your Wrath I Am Your Guilt I am Your Lust

Chapter 23

Zack's POV

I opened my eye's and looked at the unfamiliar ceiling and smiled to myself, last night had been good. I rolled over and looked at Samantha sleeping, last night had been very good.

I stretched, kissing Samantha's cheek, then I got up, going to the bathroom.

I could hear someone in the kitchen so I walked out, spying Aubrey making a coffee.

"Good morning." I said walking in and grabbing a seat.

"Oh hey." She said looking at me with wide eyes. "Good morning. Coffee?"

I nodded, smiling. "Please."

"How do you have it?" She asked me grabbing a mug.

"Black." I told her, watching her make me a cup and strong, I wanted to add, but I didn't.

She placed it in front of me and smiled shyly, sitting down. "Did you sleep okay?" She asked, her cheeks going red.

I grinned, smiling to myself. "Yep, I sure did."

She nodded, glancing around. "That's good."

I nodded to myself. Poor Aubrey, she seemed a to be acting a little nervous around me and I wasn't sure why, well maybe I was a little sure, perhaps the fact that me and Matt were married was still bothering her and I couldn't blame her.

It didn't seem to bother Sam, I thought, smiling to myself, it didn't seem to bother her at all. I grinned, thinking about last night, it had been great, but everything with Samantha was great and I couldn't remember the last time I felt like this, light, carefree, happy, and I was, I was happy.

"Do you want something to eat?" Aubrey asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Where's Matt?" I asked her, taking another drink of my coffee and wondering if he went home.

"Oh um he's still in bed." She mumbled, looking out the kitchen window.

I frowned at her, she seemed almost embarrassed about it.

"Why don't we make breakfast for those two?" I suggested, standing up.

"Um okay." Aubrey said, standing up and going to the fridge.

I pushed my chair back and walked over to the fridge, standing next to Aubrey and looking in. I smiled, these girls had a well stocked fridge and I started pulling things out, looking in cupboards for pans.

Aubrey silently grabbed some eggs and started cracking them.

"Are you okay Aubrey?" I asked her while I tried to work out how to use her stove top.

"What? Oh yeah." She mumbled quickly, a little too quickly.

She was lying, it was obvious, but that was Matt's problem, I had enough of my own problems to worry about, I didn't need to be concerning myself with my friends love lives.

We both fell silent and went about cooking, I guess both of us lost in our thoughts, mine about Samantha, her's about Matt, well I presumed hers were about Matt, the scowl on her face made it obvious.

"Something smells good." Matt said, suddenly appearing from nowhere "Where are the cups? I need coffee."

"Oh, here." Aubrey said softly, opening the cupboard above her head and pulling one out and handing it to him.

"Thanks." Matt said and I looked away as he he leant over, kissing her forehead.

I considered going in and waking Sam up, just so they could have a moment to themselves when I heard a groan come down the hall and I smiled as Sam walked in, rubbing her head.

"I feel like crap." She muttered, sitting down.

I smiled at her. " Coffee?" I asked and poured her a cup as she nodded.

"Aubrey and I are making breakfast." I told her. "It will make you feel better."

"I hope so." She moaned laying her head on the table.

I went back to cooking and thinking. I had something for her that would make her feel better, but unfortunately after breakfast I had to leave and pick up Junior. I didn't want to, hell I wanted to bring Sam with me, introduce her to my son, but I knew if Meaghan found out there would be hell to pay and right now I wasn't willing to put my son or Samantha through that.

Aubrey and I served up breakfast and the four of us sat at the table talking and eating. It was so nice, so relaxed and honestly it was nice seeing a side of Matt that I hadn't seen for so long, a happy side, a relaxed side, the real Matt. I hadn't realised how much his marriage was taking out of him until I saw him with Aubrey, when he was with her he was a completely different guy and it was good, good seeing him smile and I guessed I probably looked the same way.

"I hope you don't expect me and Matt to wash up." Samantha moaned, pushing her empty plate away.

"Its fine." Aubrey said, standing up and grabbing the dirty dishes. "I've got it."

"I'll help." Matt said softly and I watched as those two started cleaning up, Matt talking softly to Aubrey.

"So." I said smiling at Sam. "I'm going to have head home shortly." And I hated that thought, having to leave, having to leave her.

Samantha nodded, and I was glad to see she looked disappointed. "Of course."

"But I'll call you later." I said softly, grabbing her hand. "We can catch up tomorrow maybe?"

She looked at me, pulling her hand away. "I guess we can." And she stood up. "If your wife let's you out."

I did my best not to groan as I watched her walk from the room and I jumped a little as I heard her bedroom door slam. I wanted to go after her, but I didn't think that would help right now, she was upset and a little angry and she head every right to be, I was married and right now I was going back home to my wife, not that I wanted to, I wanted to stay here, with Sam.

I sighed, standing up. "I'm going home." I said looking at Matt. "You ready?"

"Um." He mumbled raising his eyebrows and glancing at Aubrey out of the corner of his eyes. "I was going to hang around here for awhile." He told me. "If that's okay with you?" He added, looking at Aubrey.

She shrugged. "If your wife doesn't mind."

"Aubrey god." He snapped.

I knew when to take leave, so I grabbed my wallet and keys.

"Well I'll see you later then." I told Matt and Aubrey, not that they were listening, they were took busy hissing at each other and I was pretty sure the hissing would soon turn into a full blown argument.

I left them whispering furiously and I walked up to Samantha's door, tapping lightly.

"I'm going." I called out but there was no reply, I didn't expect one.

I sighed and turned from her door. "I'll call you later Samantha." I said softly, hoping she heard me.

I turned and walked out the front door and down the path to my car, getting in, trying to ignore the nausea in my stomach. That nausea wasn't from the drinking last night, that nausea was from the prospect of seeing my wife, my wife whom I vowed to love for the rest of my life, my wife who I couldn't stand.

I needed to fix this and I needed to fix this now. I wasn't happy and I hadn't been for a long time.

I needed to fix this before I lost Samantha, because only when I was with Samantha did I feel truly happy.