I Am Your Wrath I Am Your Guilt I am Your Lust

Chapter 25

Aubrey's POV

Having Matt sleeping next to me was nice, it was really nice. I liked it, maybe a little too much. I tried to sleep in, just enjoy my time with him next to me, but I couldn't, my ever thinking mind wouldn't let me.

He was married and he was married with children. No matter what I tried to tell myself that fact did not change. He had a wife and children and once he woke up he would be going home to them, not me.

I ended up just getting out of bed, I was only laying here torturing myself, so I might as well torture myself while drinking coffee and that's exactly what I did, drink coffee and continue my thinking.

Zack eventually made an appearance, looking incredibly pleased with himself. I'm sure he was, he managed to nail Samantha, yet another married guy who thought he could have his cake and eat it too.

He suggested we make breakfast, which was fine with me because it kept me busy and the conversation down to a minimum. Right now I wanted to tell both Matt and Zack exactly what I thought of them.

Maybe it wasn't entirely their fault, I mean I'd willingly slept with Matt, but not anymore, not now, I was done with that married man.

Matt and Samantha joined us for breakfast and the conversation was light which was good, I was able to give short answers because I really wasn't in the mood to chat with anyone, especially Matt.

I was glad when Zack announced he had to leave, Matt would go with him, only he didn't, he decided to stay. I wanted to tell him it wasn't alright, that no, he couldn't stay, but I couldn't, he just had to look at me and my chest ached.

Samantha brought the wife subject forefront and secretly I was glad. Now I had the opportunity to tell him how I felt and when Sam went to her room and Zack left, that's exactly what I did.

I sat there listening to him try and justify what he was doing, but I didn't care what he said. If his wife was so bad, why didn't he just leave her? I knew why, he didn't want to, he wanted the best of both worlds.

I didn't care what he said and I was in the process of telling him so when his phone rang, interrupting us.

"What?" He yelled into his phone.

I stood there watching as he frowned and his eyebrows raised.

"Please don't start this shit now." He snapped at whoever was on the phone. "No, I won't."

I watched him, watching his facial expressions, wondering who he was talking too.

"They're still at my Mother's." He muttered. "I'm picking them up this afternoon."

I chewed my lip, looking out the window. He was talking to his wife, that was obvious.

He sighed. "Fine, I'll be home soon." He said. "Yes fine, we can talk."

I heard him put his phone away and I just stood there, looking out the window.

"Aubrey." He said softly. "I have to go."

"Of course you do." I snapped, wishing he would just leave.

He walked behind me and slipped his arm's around my waist. I stiffened, grabbing his hands and removing them, stepping away from him.

"Please just go." I said softly. "Go home to your family."

"Aubrey please." He murmured, turning me around to face him. "I meant everything I said."

I nodded. "Of course you did." I told him, although I knew he didn't. "Look Matt, I hope you work things out with your wife, and if not, I hope you find happiness."

He stood there, frowning at me. "What?"

I sighed. "Look, I really wish we met at another time, but it is what it is, so please go, and don't come back."

"Aubrey." He said. "Please stop."

"No." I said pushing on his chest lightly. "Go home, sort your life out, be happy and please don't call me."

I stood there looking at him, feeling my heart break. How did I become so attached to this man in such a short period of time.

He shook his head. "I'll call you later Aubrey." He murmured, kissing my forehead and then he turned, walking out.

I waited until I heard the front door closed and only then did I let myself cry. What a mess I'd gotten myself into. What had I been thinking, that being with a married man would work. It would never work, ever.

"Are you okay?" Samantha asked softly, standing in the kitchen doorway.

I wiped my face, shaking my head. "No, but I will be."

That was a lie, right now I didn't think I'd be okay again. He'd come into my life, turned it upside down and then gone home to his family.

"Oh Aubrey." Se whispered, hugging me. "Aren't we a pair of idiots."

"We are." I whispered, hugging her back. "But no more, I mean if you want to see Zack, that's fine, he's a nice guy, but I'm done with Matt, I just can't do it."

She pulled away and looked at me. "I have some thinking to do Aubrey." She told me. "I really like Zack, a lot, maybe too much and I have to decide if I want to keep seeing him."

I nodded. "Well I decided." I told her. "I'm not willing to share my partner with someone else, it's just something I can't do."

She nodded. "I know." She whispered. "I guess I just keep hoping that he'll leave her."

I shook my head. "Yeah I know exactly what you mean, but it won't happen." I explained to her. "I stood here and listened to Matt try and justify everything to me, and not once did he mention leaving her, he was full of excuses as to why he can't leave her."

"God I'm sorry." She murmured, hugging me again.

"He obviously wants sex from me and then go home and play happy families." I whispered. "And I'm not doing that. I know you hate Hunter, but at least he loved me, at least I was the only girl in his life."

"Oh Aubrey." She whined, looking at me. "You're not going back to him are you?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so." And I really didn't want to go back to Hunter. "I think I just need a little time being me, being myself."

She agreed with me and I was glad, her support meant a lot. If Sam wanted to continue dating Zack I wouldn't hold it against her, he obviously made her happy and for that I was glad, I wanted her to be happy.

Me on the other hand, I wasn't happy, and I wouldn't be as long as I knew Matt was married and later on that afternoon when my phone rang, and as I looked at the caller ID, seeing it was Matt, I mentally congratulated myself. I pressed ignore and I let it go to voicemail.

I didn't listen to his message, I just deleted it. I meant it, I was done with him for good.