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~Leila's P.O.V.~
I stood there,as the salty tears were running down my face. It is such a sunny day,but considering the circumstances, it is the darkest day of my life. My mom is standing standing next to me,bawling her eyes out. Not to many people came. My dad was a very disliked man. He had a heart made completely made of steel,but he always held a soft spot for me. My mom was always somewhat envious of the relationship I had with him, but that only made him push her away more. My dad loved me. I had no doubt about that.
They lower the casket more. Each time my heart breaks a little more. It seems like I'm a little bit too familiar with that feeling now. I haven't talked to Ethan,since that night I went out with Corine and that was about a week ago. I needed him right now,even though he's been my biggest heart break, I need to feel him. My dad's casket is now 6 feet under, and is covered in dirt. After many more shovels filled with dirt are placed on him, my mom walks to the car. We both get in and ride in silence.
Our whole ride is awkward and unpleasent. My father was the only person my mom had. She never liked to admit it, but she knew that one day he would leave her. If it was to be with someone else or to be in the ground.
The car stops in front of the house and we both get out. My mom immediately walks through the front door and doesn't look back. I walk in after her, and find her. I see her sitting on the couch, with her head in between her knees. She's softly sobbing. I sit down next to her and rub her back slowly. She leans up and rests her head on my shoulder. I pull her in and hug her tightly.
"I miss him already." I say.
"I do too." Her voice sounds weak.
"He won't be forgotten,though. At least not to me." I say.
"He was a loving man." She says.
"Mom, he was the meanest man I knew." I say.
She raises up and looks at me.
"He treated you like a princess. You came into this world,"daddy's little girl"." She says.
"He made a soldier out of me. Daddy held my hand and he made me dance. Daddy liked his whiskey with his tea. We rode motorcycles. " I say.
"He loved you. You were his pride and joy." She says.
"I had to be a tough girl. He would tell me to take care of you." I say.
I get up from the couch and admire the pictures of my father. Even though he was the toughest person ever,he was my dad and I loved him.
"With his gun and his head held high. Whenever he would make me go to the shooting range I would always cry,and he would hold me in his arms. He told me when he's gone what I should do. He said, when trouble comes to town and men like me come around to shoot." I say.
"He always treated you better than me.I hated that. You stole my husband from me,and the sad thing is he didn't even know it." She says.
"Mom, are you really blaming me for you and dad's marriage not working out? I was a fucking child. I didn't know what was going on between the two of you." I say.
"God, you honestly didn't see it? How he would drop everything when you came around? How he would shower you in everything under the sun? How he would comfort you whenever you need him? I hate to say this,but Leila you were the worst thing that happened to my marriage." She says.
A tear slides down my face. I stood there in shock. I hated the fact that my own mother, thought I was the reason my dad didn't love her.
"You ruined my marriage,but you also saved it. You were the only reason your father stayed with me,sadly." She says.
"Why are you telling me this now? After all this. After he's gone. Mom, you literally have the worst timing in the world. You are the most submissive person I've ever met." I say.
She laughs a little bit.
"You're the spitting image of him in every way. Your eyes, your mouth,your nose, even your eyebrows. You are the female version of him. The way you laugh,smile, the way your heart is cold at first. You are your dad." She says.
The house is completely silent. I couldn't take it anymore. I need to leave.
"I'm gonna go." I say.
She doesn't say anything she just nods her head. I walk out and call myself a cab.
***
The car arrives and I get in. I don't know where I'm going,but I just need to clear my head. I see a complex filled with stores and markets. i look around for a bit,but one catches my eye.
"Readings & Mystery"
I walk into the small shop and a lady with a turban on her head greets me.
"Hello, my name is Minerva. I sense you want a reading." She says.
I nod my head and she leads to a small table. I sit down and she sits across from me.
"Can I see your hands?" She asks.
I hold my hands out and she grabs them softly.
"I sense pain in your recent life. A lot of struggle. I see someone. You find the black tube inside her beauty case.Where she keeps your father's old prison letters. You desperately want to look like her.You look nothing like your mother.You look everything like your mother.Film star, beauty.How to wear your mother's lipstick.You go to the bathroom to apply the lipstick.Somewhere no one can find you.You must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face.Your mother is a woman.And women like her can not be contained.Mother dearest, let me inherit the Earth.Teach me how to make him beg. Let me make up for the years he made you wait.Did he bend your reflection?Did he make you forget your own name?Did he convince you he was a God?Did you get on your knees daily?Do his eyes close like doors? Are you a slave to the back of his head?Am I talking about your husband or your father?" She asks.
To be honest, I really couldn't answer that. They both shared similarities and I couldn't tell them apart. I was about to answer her,but my phone rings. I pick it up,not caring to look at the name.
I hear Ethan's voice.
"I'm sorry."
****
You find the black tube inside her beauty case.
Where she keeps your father's old prison letters.
You desperately want to look like her.
You look nothing like your mother.
You look everything like your mother.
Film star, beauty.
How to wear your mother's lipstick.
You go to the bathroom to apply the lipstick.
Somewhere no one can find you.
You must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face.
Your mother is a woman.
And women like her can not be contained.
Mother dearest, let me inherit the Earth.
Teach me how to make him beg.
Let me make up for the years he made you wait.
Did he bend your reflection?
Did he make you forget your own name?
Did he convince you he was a God?
Did you get on your knees daily?
Do his eyes close like doors?
Are you a slave to the back of his head?
Am I talking about your husband or your father?
~Warsan Shire
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Hey!
This is the continuation!!
Tell me what you think.
Thank you guys sooo much for 74K+ Reads!!!!!
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Peace from the world beyond.
