Hello,
Tis I,
I have arrived once again.
With more annoying shit in stories,
Tell your friends.
~Grey
The only conflict resolution is sex
I am fully well aware that coitus might be stress relieving for some.
It seems really fucking weird to me, but everything is different for everyone.
But how in the hell is doing the skiddlyboop going to help you solve the fact that he killed your dog?
Or cheated on you?
Or called your mom a fat horse?
Or made fun of your memes?
How? Does that? Assist you?
The girl only wears Converse
"I put on my maroon tee shirt with my tight white jeans, finishing the outfit off with a pair of my 17 sets of Converse.
I glanced over at my yellow and green pairs, noting how I had them set next to a red pair, which was next to a high top rainbow pair.
I should organize my Converse."
~ Ten chapters later ~
"Do you, human, take this other human as your husband?"
"I do" I said confidently, standing on the toes of my light pink Converse shoes."
WHY DO YOU ONLY WEAR CONVERSE?
They base it off of Fifty Shades Of Grey
Now, I understand if you're a fan of the book and want to show your love by incorporating the theme of FSOG.
You do you, love it, 10/10.
But so help me, God,
There was this one Septiplier story, which I shan't name, that legitimately took like 90% of FSOG and added it in.
They just changed Ana to Sean and Christian to Mark.
Like I legitimately didn't see a difference.
I even went out to my library, picked up a copy of FSOG, and looked through it.
And comparing it to said fanfic, it was 90% the same, down to the wording.
Kiddos, do you know what that's called?
Plagiarism.
Kiddos, do you know what that is?
Illegal.
The writer less-than-strategically adds their favourite band into the story
Now, I'm guilty of this one. In one of my stories, I added the band Skillet in.
I was using one of their songs for inspiration because I am absolute trash at writing romance.
In this, I wanted to add it into the story.
I don't recall how exactly I did it, but I put an authors note explaining.
I also added the story The Telltale Heart, because it's one of my favourite stories and I needed something for the plot.
What I absolutely cannot fucking stand is when it's an xreader, and it's like,
"You pulled on your P!ATD teeshirt with your BVB jacket and SWS, ADTR and BMTH bracelets."
Like,
1) I didn't realize I was still an emo kid (don't kill me, this was legit me as an emo kid but I didn't have as much merch.
I don't think I ever grew out of it.
Oops.)
2) if it's an xreader,
Wouldn't it make sense to have the reader add in what they want as their favourite band?
Just sayin'.
Or, they go the opposite direction, bringing me to my next point:
The character is the biggest hipster to ever stir hips:
The character, which is supposed to be you, rants on,
And on,
And on,
About these random and obscure fucking bands that I doubt actually exist.
"I put on my Mint Triangle's teeshirt and my GlowStick Machine Gun sweater. I pulled up my jeans, which had iron on Bring Forth The Bananas and The Illumination band logos."
Like WHAT THE FUCK?
Granted, in fact, I did make those up.
But n o n E t h E l E S S.
And then the character will be like,
"Oh, you've never heard of them? Well, they're not super mainstream."
LIKE,
1) Fucking broke the fourth wall, you arse.
2) Literally no person knows of your made up bullshit bands, so chill the hell out.
3) AGAIN,
Refer to number two from the one before this if needed.
IT'S AN XREADER.
If you casually want to add in a band and show some love, solid, do you.
But for fuck's sake,
Don't over do it.
AND MAKE SURE IT'S SOMEONE THE READER MIGHT ACTUALLY KNOW.
Peace, humans.
YOU ARE READING
Rants; A Tale Of Epic Annoyance
RandomThis will be a book of my rants, commonly spilled onto the unfortunate souls whom happen to talk to me. Enjoy yourself; perhaps you'll relate.
