Where I'm Supposed To Be ( Sidemen Fanfic )

Chapter Twentyseven

I woke up to the sound of the front door opening and someone shouting, "I'm home!" Nikki must be back from visiting her friends. I heard footsteps coming up to Simon's room and then they walked in.

"Hey Simon. Is Lee asleep?" Nikki asked.

"I think so," Simon said. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Nope, never mind," he said smiling from his gaming chair.

"Hi Lee, I found something that belongs to you in the bottom of one of my suitcases. Do you remember when you used to draw all the time and write? Well I found you old book filled with your drawings and songs and poems," she said while sitting on the bed next to me. She rummaged through her bag and pulled out an old and worn brown leather covered book. I took it into my hands and ran my fingers over it. The memories of secretly putting my emotions down on the pages came back to me. Most of them were not good memories.

I used to get bullied in school for being a 'nerd'. Then when my parents separated I was stuck in the middle of all the fighting and battles. When I came out as bi and I was disowned I was on the street for a couple of days. All of these were recorded somehow in this book. It's kind of like a journal only in poems, drawings, and songs.

I must have been staring at it for a while because all of a sudden Simon was on the bed next to me. I felt a tear fall from my face. I held the book to my chest and hugged it.

"Thank you, Nikki," I breathed out. She said something like your welcome and then left to go and put her stuff in her new room.

"Are you okay?" Simon asked.

"Yeah it's just that this book holds so many painful storied and memories. It means so much to me. When I figured out that I had left it at Shannon's house, I was devastated. I thought that she would have thrown it away or something," I said as I opened it up to the first page. It was a picture of a girl sitting in a pit of darkness. She was crying. I remember this as the first time I was bullied and beat up. I felt so alone.

"Explain them to me, I want to know all about them," Simon said as he settled into a more comfortable position. So I told him about every single one. All of the emotions that came with each one and their inspiration. We both laughed and cried through the roller coaster of my life.

We finally made it to the last page in the book and it was of an arm that had gashes and cuts all over that were bleeding. Another hand was holding a blade with blood dripping off of it.

"This is when my mom told me that I had four hours to get out of her house. She said that she never wanted to see me again and if I came back that she would call the police. I went to my room and packed my stuff then I went to the bathroom and cut. I took a mental photo of the cuts and the blood and then after I was done I drew it. Then I must have accidentally left it there when I left," I said as I remembered how it felt and the way it looked in color. I gently shut the book and set it in my lap. Simon hugged me and looked down at me as I looked at him. He leaned down and I leaned up and we kissed.

He pulled back. "So when are we going to tell Nikki the big news?" He asked while still hugging me.

"I honestly don't know but I want it to be special because she is my sister," I said and he nodded.

"OH MY GOD!" We heard Nikki scream from down stairs. We heard footsteps and then Nikki was tackling my and Simon in a hug. "I can't believe you are pregnant!" She said sounding so happy.

"Wait who told you?" Simon asked looking shocked and confused as did I.

"I over heard Josh and Vikk talking about how excised they were for you guys on having a baby in the kitchen," she said out of breath.

"Ugh! It was supposed to be a surprise!" I said falling back into the bed.

"We didn't mean to tell her, I swear!" Josh and Vikk said at the same time standing in the door way.

"It's fine, I guess," I said sighing, "at least now we don't have to come up with a creative and fun way of telling you now," I said.

"Thank goodness! I thought you were going to rip our heads off!" Josh said leaning on the door frame in a relieved way.

"You got lucky that I wasn't in a worse mood," I said glaring at the two of them.

"So when are you going to tell your fans?" Nikki asked. I hadn't actually thought about that part yet.

"I don't know. What if the fans get upset? What if we have to quit YouTube to take care of the baby? What if we can't take care of the baby? What if we aren't ready to be parents? What if...," I started to ramble and panic. Simon put his arms around me and shushed me.

"Shit, you didn't take any medicine today did you?" Josh asked. I shook my head. He then left the doorway and I assume that he is going to get them all. I started to relax in Simon's grasp and when Josh came back I was nearly asleep again.

"Take these and then go back to bed," Josh said before leaving the room with the rest following. Nikki was the last one out and closed the door behind her.

I quickly took the medicine and snuggled back up to Simon. We laid back on the bed and slept.

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Okay so I'm going to start updating every other day. So tomorrow I won't post anything but I will post something the day after. I hope you guys are enjoying and if no one comments then I am going to make the story go the sad way that I was talking about in my last authors note. Bye, Ilya!