Vanessa's Baby

Stars

My phone rang at around four in the morning and I really didn't feel like answering it but I was already awake so it wouldn't kill me. I looked at the caller ID and saw Kate's name with two baby bottle emojis that Aidy added one afternoon while we were at the office alone.

"Liv?" Kate said through a sob.

"Hey what's wrong"

"I can't do this, I thought I was ready but I-I just can't do it"

"What? What do you mean?!"

"I love her but it's too much for me. I'm just so scared"

"Why are you scared"

"I don't wanna fuck up" she sobbed even harder. "Can you come get me"

"What? Where the hell are you?!"

"The field behind Emily's"

"Who the fuck is Emily?!"

"She's my ex" I could hear the pain in her voice.

"Kate! Why the- what?"

"Come get me Liv"

"Alright" I sighed "where is it?" She gave me directions and eventually I figured out where I was going.

"Kate?" I had to whisper so Emily wouldn't catch us. Her hand flew up from the tall grass "over here"

"Kate what the hell? Why are you here?!"

"Lay with me?"

"Fine" I fell back into the tall grass with her looking upward at the glowing stars illuminating the black night sky. Kate grabbed my hand and looked over at me "I really wish things were like this all the time"

"Kate, things aren't going to be perfect but that doesn't mean you need to run away from your problems"

"I know. I love her but I'm not ready"

"Please don't do this to her"

"Why? She's not even a year old?! It's not like she'll know"

"SHE'LL FIND OUT KATE! DON'T FUCKING DO THIS!" I started to get angry and yell "WHAT ABOUT BECK?! HE'S BEEN SO EXCITED TO BE A DAD. YOU'RE REALLY GONNA BE SELFISH ABOUT THIS?!"

"What does it matter to you?! She's not even your kid?!"

I started to sit up "It matters to me because I don't want her going through what I went through for such a long time Kate, I don't want her to feel like she doesn't  belong, and abandoned. Even if she wouldn't  know she was adopted she would still feel it. Please. Don't do this Kate."

I felt the tears stream down my face and onto my knees, Kate sat up and put her freezing cold hands on my bare shoulders "look at me kid, I will never abandon her, I swear"

"Pinkie swear?"

"Pinkie swear" she wrapped her pinkie around mine and wiped my eyes with her thumb.

"Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you come to Emily's"

"Because when we were together we would always lie together and look at the stars, I miss that"

The next morning

I woke up with Nino on my chest and Eva screaming. I walked into her room and stood over her crib "hey sweetie, what's wrong?" I lowered the front of her crib so I could change her.

She started to calm down and looked at me, her eyes full of wonder and heart full of hope. I wrapped her in her small hospital blanket and swaddled her "hey!" I whispered trying not to wake Kate or Beck.

"I love you!" Played with her hands a little and had a full conversation with her (basically myself).

Kate woke up and walked into the room ready to nurse the baby. "Oh, did she wake you up? Sorry"

"It's fine. We had fun" I handed Eva off to Kate so she could feed her and love on her even more than she already did.

I walked through their small living too into the kitchen and started to be productive by making the other two breakfast.

"Hey Liv can you bring me her pacifier? It's on the dry rack with the dishes"

"The pink one?"

"I doesn't matter"

I walked the pink pacifier to Kate and took the baby from her so she could eat. "Thanks Liv"

"Oh it's no problem" I l propped Eva up and let her see her mama "it's no problem at all"

Kate smiled and kissed her forehead accidentally wiping some jelly from her mouth to Eva's head. She wiped it off and continued to eat.

Eventually Eva fell asleep on my chest, Kate and I watched the sound of music and went to sleep with little Eva around the third song.