Meant to be

How much do you love?

Callie's POV
These last weeks have been the best and the worst. We have had a replacement for Bailey because she went to Europe to do some research and the new chief or an Orto God.
Even though she's like 20 years older then me her methods are so up to date that it's amazing. Every surgery that she does if I'm not in the OR with her I try to be in the gallery watching her. Knowing I won't have her here for much I just try and catch a glimpse of her surgeries every rim I can but the woman never leaves the hospital. She's always here so now, I'm almost always here. I just go home the days that I don't get to see Arizona in the hospital but it's a struggle because Orto is my love but Arizona is my love as well. It's a struggle because the Orto God is only going to be here for a few more days but if I'm not with Arizona in these few more days that can break us.
I had to postpone our trip to go see Sofia. Arizona was so excited. She had her bags all packed when I came home. But I couldn't miss the opportunity of seeing this doctor in the OR.
Surgery is my life but Arizona is my life to. If I had to pick I would pick Arizona but I don't think it's necessary at this point to pick, is it? We haven't had more than a 5 minute conversation since 2 weeks ago but it's only a few more days. A few more days and then it's over. We can go back to not being able to breath without each other. We can right?

Arizona's POV
When do you know you had enough do you really know or it's your selfishness talking?
Callie has been all over that Orto chief for two weeks now. It started the day we were going to go see Sofia.
She was so happy about having an Orto fellow that I couldn't say no. I get it. We don't have many Pediatric Gods either but I thought it would pass. I thought that after a week she'd be tired. That after a week of almost 24 hours hovering over the woman that she'd have absorbed the most she could but she doesn't seem to have enough.
In two weeks she has slept home 2 night, in both I pretended to be asleep when she got into bed and pulled me to her. What was the point of talking to her? She'd say it was almost over. That it wasn't forever but I really needed her these past weeks.
I had a big big fight with April and came home with no Callie to hug me. Callie doesn't even notice April and I don't talk anymore.
My dad got really sick and once again there was no Callie to hold me while I cried when my mom told me.
One night at Joe's a man flirted with me and once I told him no he punched me. It was Owen who saved me. If Owen wouldn't have been there, the guy would have beaten me to death outside the bar. Callie didn't even notice my dark eye the next day.
At this point it's like I'm single all over again. I don't have to worry about having someone to come home to so I go straight to Joe's after work.
I don't have to worry about cooking or breakfast so going to the grocery store has been o my list because all I do is eat out. My dad has been so bad that the last few days April made me sleep in her guest bedroom to make sure I don't do anything crazy to myself.
So what is it that is making me cling on to Callie if she clearly isn't clinging on to me or us. Our conversations are the same everyday. She asks "how are you?" "Fine?" "Me too! Yesterday I watched the most amazing..." And I listen as she describes another surgery and I pray to be paged so I can get away from her without melting down and beg her to come home.
How does she not miss me? Or Sofia? Well she misses Sofia! Every day I call Mark to speak to Sofia he tells me Callie called the day before and talked to her as well.
It's none sense. We're living like we are divorced again. Damn it I don't even sleep at home anymore and she doesn't even notice it. I could be cheating on her, kissing and having sex with other girls (which I'm not) that Callie wouldn't notice.
So what's the point? At the end what's left? When the Orto God leaves what is she expecting? That she's going to come home and it will be like it was before? Like she never left? Like nothing happened?
You can love someone so much but don't you have to love yourself too?

Sneak Peek of the next chapter:
Callie's POV
"How's Arizona?" Jackson asks me leaning against the ER counter beside me.
"Hun?" I ask him turning my gaze from the chart to him.
"I can't go home today and April is with her but I'm still worried about her. Do you know how she's doing tonight?"
"What do you mean April is with Arizona? And why are you worried about her?"
"Callie you don't know?"