Drown Me (Joshler)

Twelve

A/N
Thank you frens for 250 views in less than 6 days. I'm honestly such a terrible writer, so thanks for reading this despite it being complete trash. Also, sorry this is such a short chapter.|-/

     Josh and I fell asleep. With his arm wrapped around me, I felt safe. I felt like he was protecting me. When I woke up, Josh was laying there awake.
“Good morning.” I said, kissing his forehead.
“Morning.” Josh smiled. We laid in bed for over an hour, smiling at each other and telling each other how much we loved them. After a while, Josh tried kissing me, but I stopped him.

     He looked confused, maybe even hurt. I just laughed at him
“Morning breath.” It took a moment, but Josh started laughing. We both got up and ate breakfast, got dressed, brushed our teeth. Josh and I decided to watch a few movies. I didn't watch any of them and neither did Josh. We talked through all of the movies.

     “Tyler?”
“Yeah?”
“You had a nightmare again, didn't you?” Josh asked. I hesitated to reply.
“Um, yeah.” I looked away from Josh, but Josh tilted my chin so I faced him.
“Look at me. You can talk to me.”
“I know.”
“Than why don't you?” I didn't answer for a minute, but he was patient with me.
“I don't know. Do we have to talk about this now?”
“Yeah. I want to help you, but I can't if you don't let me.”
“It was just one nightmare, Josh. I'm fine.”
“You obviously aren't fine. This wasn't the first nightmare. If you don't want to talk about it right now, fine. I just want you to open up, but if you won't, there's nothing I can do about it.” Josh said, dropping his hand into his lap and turning away from me.

     I felt really bad for doing this to Josh. He had started to open up to me, but I wouldn't do the same. He was just trying to help. Josh didn't talk to me for the rest of the day, until night time when he told me he was going to sleep. I followed him upstairs. When we got in bed, he turned away from me.
“Josh, look. I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to talk about it yet.”
“Whatever.” He mumbled.
“Please don't be upset with me.”
“I'm not.” I didn't want to argue with him. So, I sighed in defeat and rolled over. I closed my eyes but couldn't sleep. I knew Josh wasn't sleeping, either.
“I love you.” I said. I didn't want to fall asleep without reassuring him that I wasn't so upset that I would leave him sometime in the night. Josh worried about that a lot, and shouldn't have had to feel like I would even think to leave him.
“I love you too.” Josh replied quietly.

***

     Josh woke me up, the bedroom still dark.
“Tyler?” He shook me.
“What?”
“Can you sing to me?” My eyes adjusted to the lighting, and I saw that Josh had tears in his eyes. He was shaking.
“Yeah. What's wrong?”
“A nightmare…” I just responded by nodding my head.

“You walk around like you are fine
So confident in life, so right
But then I found you were afraid
And that means life is not okay

I wonder what's inside your mind
And if there's anything to find
I hope that you awake some day
And see that life is not okay

I will sing for you a song
Tell me if you think that's wrong
If I let you know I'm here
‘Cause I am falling down.”

     Josh started to relax, and he positioned himself so he could rest his head on my chest.

“I know you are afraid of many things
But you need to let go
If you want to sing a praise

I will sing for you a song
Tell me if you think that's wrong
If I let you know I'm here
‘Cause I am falling down

I would laugh away the pain
Did you know I'd run all day
Just to maybe hear you say
That you are falling too

I will sing for you
I will sing for you.”

     Josh wasn't shaking as much as I finished the song. His breathing slowed.
“Thank you.” Josh whispered. I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. I closed my eyes. Josh fell asleep before I could, and I drifted off to the sound of his soft snoring.