Drown Me (Joshler)

Thirteen

A/N
I want to say thank you to FISHJISH and I want to scream because I'm so happy that this already has over 300 views? Like what? Thanks frens. Stay alive |-/

I'm taking over my body
Back in control, no more shotty
I bet a lot of me was lost
Ts uncrossed and Is undotted
I fought it a lot
And it seems a lot like flesh is all I got
Not anymore
Flesh out the door
Swat

I must've forgot
You can't trust me
I'm open a moment and
Closed when you show it
Before you know it
I'm lost at sea
And now that I write and think about it
And the story unfolds
You should take my life
You should take my soul.”

     Josh and I were in the basement again, playing some songs I wrote. We hadn't played music for months, and we decided that it was something we wanted to stick with. Josh was playing the drums while I rapped and sang.

“You are surrounding
All my surroundings
Sounding down the mountain range
Of my left-side brain
You are surrounding
All my surroundings
Twisting the kaleidoscope
Behind both of my eyes.

And I'll be holding on to you
And I'll be holding on to you

Remember the moment
You know exactly where you're going
'Cause the next moment
Before you know it
Time is slowing
And it's frozen still
And the window sill looks really nice, right
You think twice about your life
It probably happens at night, right

Fight it
Take the pain
Ignite it
Tie a noose around your mind
Loose enough to breathe fine and tie it
To a tree
Tell it
‘You belong to me
This ain't a noose
This is a leash
And I have news for you
You must obey me’

You are surrounding all my surroundings
Sounding down the mountain range
Of my left-side brain
You are surrounding all my surroundings
Twisting the kaleidoscope
Behind both of my eyes.”

     I watched Josh while I sang. He was as beautiful as he was the first day we played music together. Josh was an amazing drummer, and I could watch him play all day.

“Entertain my faith
Entertain my faith
Entertain my faith
Entertain my faith
Entertain my faith
Entertain my faith
Entertain my faith
Entertain my faith
Entertain my faith
Entertain my faith

Lean with it, rock with it,
When we gonna stop with it,
Lyrics that mean nothing,
We were gifted with thought,
Is it time to move our feet
To an introspective beat,
It ain't the speakers that bump hearts,
It's our hearts that make the beat

Lean with it, rock with it,
When we gonna stop with it,
Lyrics that mean nothing,
We were gifted with thought,
Is it time to move our feet
To an introspective beat,
It ain't the speakers that bump hearts,
It's our hearts that make the beat

Lean with it, rock with it,
When we gonna stop with it,
Lyrics that mean nothing,
We were gifted with thought,
Is it time to move our feet
To an introspective beat,
It ain't the speakers that bump hearts,
It's our hearts that make the beat

Lean with it, rock with it,
When we gonna stop with it,
Lyrics that mean nothing,
We were gifted with thought,
Is it time to move our feet
To an introspective beat,
It ain't the speakers that bump hearts,
It's our hearts that make the beat

And I'll be holding on to you
And I'll be holding on to you
And I'll be holding on to you
And I'll be holding on to you
And I'll be holding on to you
And I'll be holding on to you
And I'll be holding on to you
And I'll be holding on to you.”

     We finished the song. Josh looked so happy, and the sparkle that had been missing seemed to be back. I couldn't be sure if it was really back, back for good, or if it was temporary. Either way, I was glad Josh was happy, even if it was just for a short period of time.

     We went through the song a couple more times before deciding to take a break. Josh and I went upstairs to the living room and sat on the couch. Josh put something on TV, but I didn't pay attention to what it was.
“I like listening to you sing.”
“Thanks.” I smiled and snuggled into Josh. I was really bad at taking compliments. “I like watching you play your drums.” Josh thanked me, grinning. He seemed happier now, since we started playing music with each other again. I was happier, too.

***

     I was woken up by Josh again, him shaking and crying. This happened almost every night. He wouldn't tell me anything except that he had nightmares. I stopped having them, but Josh started having them all the time. Each time, he just asked me to sing him a song. So, I did. Any song I sang would calm him down, but he preferred one song.

“Here I come
Come to you
In the very clothes
That I killed
Killed you in
And now I know
I'm alone
I walk to you
Rain falls from you
Can you wash me
Can you drown me.”

     “Tyler?” Josh interrupted me.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.” He grabbed my hand and held it.
“For what?”
“For everything.”
“Oh. Of course. Josh, I'm always going to be here for you. If you want to talk, just talk to me.” I said. Josh traced circles on my hand. Normally, we did that to each other when the other needed comforting, so I felt like I should have been doing that to him instead.
“Are you sure?” Josh asked. He hadn't said anything in so long, I wasn't sure what he was talking about.
“Am I sure what?”
“Are you sure you won't leave me?”
“Of course I'm sure! Josh, I'm never going to leave you. I love you so much, and there's nothing that could change that.”