Drown Me (Joshler)

Twenty Three

A/N
Hey, sorry this is a late upload. I planned on uploading another chapter yesterday but I didn't. I really don't know where this fic is going. I had so many plans for it but... Now it's just random. Next chapter might have some kind of twist? I don't know. FISHJISH is seriously so amazing and I can't thank you enough. Thanks. Stay alive frens, really |-/

***Josh POV***

     Tyler and I kissed. It wasn't rough, it wasn't passionate. It was just a kiss. It was just a way to show that we loved each other and to have some sort of physical contact to comfort Tyler. I knew that he was comforted by physical contact, whether it was cuddling, holding hands, or anything else. I pulled away after a couple of minutes so I could ask him a question.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” It was good. If he didn't trust me, he wouldn't let me help him. Tyler wouldn't be able to manage on his own, and we both knew it. He just wanted to protect me. I was pretty sure that I wanted to protect him more, and I wasn't going to give up very easily.

     I didn't have a way to “fix” Tyler. There wasn't a way to fix him because he didn't need to be fixed. Tyler wasn't broken. Not yet, anyway. Tyler was in a battle against himself, and he couldn't win the fight alone. He just needed some help. I could help him. All he had to do is let me. If things got bad enough, he would. And things were starting to get bad enough.

     When Tyler and I were eating, I got so scared when he started to shake. He wouldn't answer me when I asked him if he was okay, and I wasn't sure if he could hear me. Tyler stood up and nearly collapsed on the floor. I tried to help him walk, but he was shaking too much. I couldn't tell if he was crying, but I know that I was. It was terrifying, not knowing what was happening to him. He screamed a few times, yelling things like, “Stop!” and “Go away!” He gave up, he let go, and I couldn't catch him in enough time. Tyler fell onto the ground. Wiping the tears away, I picked him up and carried him upstairs.

***

     When Tyler told me he trusted me, I didn't know if I should believe him or not. I decided to. Tyler didn't hesitate at all when he answered me, so it was doubtful that he lied. Besides, Tyler opened up to me a lot, even if he didn't share everything. He was comfortable with talking about at least some of his problems with me. Tyler wouldn't have told me about his problems if he didn't trust me.

     We spent the rest of the day cuddling and talking. We agreed that because we hadn't played music for a while, we would play the next day. I always enjoyed playing drums, especially if Tyler was with me. His voice was one you could never get sick of hearing. I asked him if he could sing for me, and he said yes. Tyler waited for a minute, probably thinking about what he would sing, and then cleared his throat.

“Here I come
Come to you
In the very clothes
That I killed
Killed you in
And now I know
I'm alone
I walk to you
Rain falls from you
Can you wash me
Can you drown me.”

     The song sounded so familiar, but I couldn't tell what it was. Tyler didn't sing it to me before, did he? I stopped him before he could sing more.
“What's that song from?”
“What?” He was confused.
“Like, who wrote it?”
“Um, I did.”
“You did? I swear I've heard it before.” Tyler froze.
“Y-You’ve heard it before?”
“Yeah, I think. I don't remember where or when I heard it, but I know I have.”
“I, um, when I was in my coma…” Tyler said quietly. “I dreamt about you and me. And I sang that song to you a lot.”
    
     Tyler dreamt about us while he was in his coma? Why hadn't he told me that before?
“Oh. But why would I know the song then?” Tyler just shrugged. It didn't make sense, but I decided to ignore it. I snuggled closer to Tyler and kissed his cheek. I loved him so, so much, and I was so glad that he was being strong.